College football message boards are where you find the actual truth about sports and life in America

Going to college football message boards is where you get the actual truth about sports and really life in America. I love SEC message boards. They're the best. Tiger Droppings, Hagville. Just feed it, inject it directly into my veins.

Jameson Williams might be cursed

Jameson Williams might be cursed because if you remember, he's already out for six games for gambling and now he's out [for the preseason]... he missed most of last year. They were using the preseason to try to get him reps... Now he's out again. He might be cursed.

Donald Trump weighs 255 pounds

I think he's 255. Like a linebacker. He's a Hoss. He's basically Brian Cushing.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.