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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Patriots only let Tom Brady go to Tampa Bay because they couldn't prove tampering, and it's actually a master plan by Bill Belichick to get draft picks

The only reason the Patriots let Tom go to Tampa Bay was that they couldn't wrap them into a tampering charge... this could be Belichick's master plan to get Tampa docked all the draft pictures and to have both Tom and Gronk returned to New England with like three extra third rounders.

No tampering charges were ever filed, and Brady and Gronkowski went on to win a Super Bowl in Tampa Bay.

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Push
Apr 22, 2020
#8370
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I'm pivoting Leroy into grading the scoops of actual insiders instead of breaking news

I'd like to pivot [Leroy] out of the breaking news game, put him out to stud, put him out to retire... and then use the account to grade the scoops of actual insiders. Leroy serves as the judge and says this scoop goes to [whoever].

The Leroy account did occasionally interact with other insiders, but the formal 'grading' system was not consistently maintained.
Win
Apr 22, 2020
#8347
HankHank

I don't think Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski will retire as Buccaneers, unless they win a Super Bowl

Do you think Tom Brady and Gronk will retire as Buccaneers when they go into Canton? No. I think it might [happen] if they win a Super Bowl, but there's definitely like a one side of me [that] makes it sense... it's like a one last hurrah, to Florida, nice weather... I just can't do it. I can't be like the biggest Bucs fan.

While both had iconic careers in New England, winning a Super Bowl in Tampa Bay cemented their Bucs legacy; however, Brady ultimately signed a one-day contract to retire as a Patriot.
Win
Apr 22, 2020
#8354
Big CatBig Cat

Bill Belichick is cold-blooded and will always choose assets over personal beef

Belichick is the most likely [to make the Gronk trade]. He's like, oh I get a free asset. Most other coaches would be like no. I'm going to let my personal beef standing between me and making the right choice. Belichick is so cold blooded. He'll just be like, yes, I will get something for nothing.

The Patriots successfully turned a retired Gronkowski into a 4th-round draft pick (which became Justin Rohrwasser).

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.