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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Texans will blow out the Colts

I'm taking the Texans. Texans blow them out.

The Texans lost 21-7 to the Colts.

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Void
Jan 4, 2019
#18180
Big CatBig Cat

The 2018-19 NFL playoffs are the most wide-open in history

I've been saying it. It is the most wide-open playoffs we've ever had, and I'm excited. Yeah, three of the four games [this weekend] are under a field goal in terms of the point spread.

The 2018-19 season featured many close games, but calling it the 'most wide-open ever' is a subjective superlative.
Void
Jan 4, 2019
#24275
Big CatBig Cat

The Saturday afternoon Wild Card game is always the worst game of the NFL season.

We always say this is the shittiest game and it usually is... it's where you get all your jokes off... it's really the Twitter jokes game.

The 2018 game (Colts/Texans) was actually a 21-7 win for the Colts, which fits the 'low scoring/boring' mold despite having good QBs.
Win
Jan 4, 2019
#18181
Big CatBig Cat

The Colts will beat the Texans in the Wild Card round

My pinky's on the line, and I'm not saying this just because my pinky's on the line. I think the Colts are going to win this game.

The Colts defeated the Texans 21-7 on January 5, 2019.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.