The Cowboys will win the NFC East if they beat the Eagles in Week 14

This is the week that if the Cowboys beat the Eagles, they have basically won the NFC East. And it will be very hard for them to lose it.

The Cowboys will find a way to fuck up their season despite their current success

If there's anything I know about the Cowboys, they'll find a way to fuck it all up.

The Ravens' defense is the first real test for the Chiefs' offense

The Ravens, this is the best team the Ravens are going to play in a while. ... this is the best defense the Chiefs have played in a while. So can the Chiefs play against a good defense in cold weather in December? This is my are-we-sure-they're-good game.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.