Manny Machado is effectively early retiring by signing with the San Diego Padres

Manny Machado decided, guess what, 10 years, $300 million, San Diego, where I can kind of just go chill. Like, this is basically a – I'm just going to – he almost is early retiring.

Bryce Harper will sign a contract for more than $300 million

Manny Machado decided, guess what, 10 years, $300 million, San Diego... But it's only going to be [the biggest contract in sports history] for like two more days because Bryce Harper, if you don't think Scott Boras is getting Bryce Harper $301 million [you're crazy].

Antonio Brown will sign a four-year, $79 million guaranteed contract with the Redskins

It's going to be the Redskins. So here's what's going to happen. He's going to join the Redskins. They're going to pay, I'll say, four years, $79 million guaranteed. And he'll play for two, well, one and a half. And then he'll just sit out the rest of the year.

The Bills could have three or four Super Bowls without kickers

You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like three or four Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing in football. You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.

Jalen Hurts will answer the Titans by beating them as a passer

I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, 'Fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback.' And then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and three touchdowns.

The Jaguars would be the second-best team in football if they win in Denver

If they win this game in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.