It is officially the Washington Capitals' year to win the Stanley Cup

It is Wednesday, March 1st, and it is the Caps year... I'm even more irrationally confident now [after the Kevin Shattenkirk trade].

The Minnesota Wild are going to have a 'mump slump' after several players contracted the mumps

So it's the [Minnesota] Wild that has the mumps, right? So calling it right now, it's going to be a mump slump. There's your headline.

The Kirk Cousins franchise tag is a sign the Redskins still don't know if he's good

In Kirk Cousins' case, it's just a big sign that says, do we know if Kirk Cousins is good yet? No, we don't know.

Augusta National likely set up Mark Calcavecchia to get caught with a cell phone to prove they still have authority

My theory is that they talked to... a behind the scenes situation where they said, we getting a lot of shit. People are saying that we still don't have it, so we're gonna throw your ass out if you're okay with just saying that he had a cell phone. So I think it might be a setup.

I can shoot a 110 at Augusta National

I actually don't think that what I said was that stupid. You said you could shoot 110. I think I could shoot 109. I could break 110. I'm not saying I would do it every time. I don't think so. I think I could do it.

Everyone should be able to break 150 at Augusta National

It was more so the people that were like, dude, you can break 150. I think everybody, everyone here should be able to break 150 at Augusta.