J.J. Watt being healthy is the official sign that football is back

you know football is back because there's a lot of buzz about J.J. Watt not being injured... J.J. Watt being like, is this the year that J.J. Watt can stay healthy all year? That means football is officially back.

The Hall of Fame game becomes absolute dog shit after the first five minutes

I'm excited for the Hall of Fame game. My dumb brain tricks my dumb body into getting all amped up for the Hall of Fame game. And then I forget that after the first five minutes of the game, it's just absolute dog shit.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

The Saints had the best loss of Week 1

I think this was the best loss of the week. Number two right now would be the Houston Texans.

Cam Ward may not be the guy

I want Cam Ward to be better than he is because he seems like he's locked in. He's a good story. I don't know if he's gonna be the guy or not. I want him to be. But every week I feel like I get further and further from thinking that he is.

The Dolphins will get their first win on November 1

November 1st is what I'm saying for the Dolphins' first win.