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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tom Brady hates everyone in the Patriots organization and wants to get out fast

I'm reading that as Tom Brady hates everyone in the Patriots organization is looking to get out of town as fast as possible.

While Brady did leave for the Buccaneers shortly after this, the claim that he 'hates everyone' is hyperbole, though relationship tensions were well-documented.

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Void
Feb 28, 2020
#26922
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Buccaneers have the weirdest uniforms of any potential Tom Brady landing spot

The buccaneers [are one of the teams that would piss off Patriots fans most] because I actually think that there are the weirdest uniform that I could ever imagine Tom Brady in. [The Vikings] purple would be jarring, but that's a list.

Brady did eventually sign with the Buccaneers and wore their uniforms for three seasons.
Loss
Feb 28, 2020
#10265
Big CatBig Cat

Bill Belichick is interested in Andy Dalton to prove he can win with anyone

A lot of people have been saying the reverse that Bill Belichick would be interested in Andy Dalton because if you can win a Super Bowl with Andy Dalton, then everyone will say wow. This guy can do anything he walk on water.

The Patriots did not sign Andy Dalton; they eventually signed Cam Newton after Brady left.
Void
Feb 28, 2020
#10266
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If Tom Brady wins with the Chargers, he's officially better than Eli Manning

If he went to the Chargers and then read far back and prove once and for all... if he's able to win with the Chargers [he is better than Eli Manning].

Brady did not go to the Chargers, and the comparison to Eli Manning is inherently a comedic/subjective take.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.