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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tom Brady was affected by a 'boat curse' the night before the Dolphins game

I think it's more likely that Tom Brady was on a boat down in Miami the night before the game, got the old boat curse going, than it was that he's actually getting too old to play well.

Brady did play poorly in that specific loss to Miami, but there was no evidence of a boat trip. He went on to win the MVP that season.

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Win
Dec 13, 2017
#11528
Big CatBig Cat

The Dolphins game was Jay Cutler's one annual game where he looks elite

That was the Jay Cutler performance. And I know that all Bears fans know this. That was the one game he throws out a year where you're like, this guy's fucking good.

Cutler followed the MNF win with a 3-interception performance against Buffalo the following week, confirming the cycle.
Loss
Dec 13, 2017
#11529
Big CatBig Cat

The Chargers will sneak into the 2017 playoffs

I think the Chargers will probably sneak in. There's not one team I can be like, you know what? They could probably make a run, which I don't think we've had that in a really long time.

The Chargers finished 9-7 but missed the playoffs due to tiebreakers with the Titans and Bills.
Win
Dec 13, 2017
#11530
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jaguars are going to make the 2017 AFC Championship Game

I'm going out on a limb. I think that the Jaguars are making the AFC Championship. They have that right mix where it's like they have a great defense. If they just run the ball, let Blake [Bortles] be Blake.

The Jaguars actually did make the AFC Championship Game, where they lost to the Patriots.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.