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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Trey Lance is going to be the king of the 'new fun' quarterbacks

Trey Lance, I think, is going to be the king of the new fun quarterbacks, because he's going to have some shitty turnovers, and then he's going to have some awesome throws sprinkled in and some great runs.

Lance's career was derailed by injuries and he only started 4 games for the 49ers before being traded, never really getting the chance to be the 'king' of anything.

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Aug 23, 2021
#13696
Mitch TrubiskyMitch Trubisky

Patrick Mahomes will be the best quarterback of all time

Mahomes is probably going to be the best quarterback of all time and that's like, you don't get to pick where you're drafted for sure. Then just decides like, Hey, I'm going to be the best of all time. Oh, cool. Just runs up the score every week.

Mahomes is widely considered to be on a GOAT trajectory with multiple MVPs and Super Bowls.
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Aug 23, 2021
#13688
Billy FootballBilly Football

Zach Wilson will win a Super Bowl for the Jets

I was watching the highlights again today and I was like, Zach Wilson wins the Super Bowl for the Jets. I'm going to convert to Mormonism.

Zach Wilson was eventually traded from the Jets after several disappointing seasons and did not win a Super Bowl.
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Aug 23, 2021
#26957
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Big Ben is officially my number one quarterback in the AFC North

I would have this [Big Ben] as my number one quarterback in the division. This [Ben] that we saw from the last week.

The Steelers finished 9-7-1 and Ben struggled significantly with arm strength, finishing with a 22-10 TD/INT ratio. Lamar Jackson and Joe Burrow (who made the Super Bowl) were widely considered superior in 2021.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.