Chet Holmgren is a two-can drunk

How many beers do you think it takes Chet [Holmgren] to get drunk? I think it's like, I think he's a two can. I think two beers and a cigarette. Yeah. And he was puking.

NBA players should only drink alcohol when they win a championship

What I'm saying for [Jalen Williams] is he should not say he's never gonna drink again. Because you should drink just only when you win an NBA championship. I'll see you next year beer.

At the core of every joke, there is a serious truth

I choose to [believe he was joking], but at the core of every joke, therein lies a serious truth. Alex Caruso is now an NBA champion.

Lincoln Riley still has no signature win at USC

If you go through the Lincoln Riley résumé, this is a really long time since starting in '22 to not have that signature win. Give us one. Beat Oregon once and be like, 'Hey, look.'

The SEC will regain its national-championship dominance

It was still hard for me to believe that they're just not gonna win national championships now because of NIL. That's the kind of parity. I think the SEC is gonna turn this thing back around where they're gonna start rolling through people again.

BYU is ranked far too highly to be trusted

I was arguing Texas Tech being overlooked because at least they have some P4 wins in there. They looked like shit against Colorado. BYU is eighth in both polls. I'm not putting them in there.