Takes

Dallas Goedert will have over 60 receiving yards in Super Bowl 59

I'm going, I think this has gotta be a huge Dallas Goedert game. So I'm going Dallas Goedert over 60 yards receiving plus one 19. So it's plus money. I think this is Dallas Goedert game. I think he's got to eat. He's also, he leads the Eagles in, in receiving yards in the Playoffs.

The Eagles have a better chance of beating the Chiefs than the Commanders do

The Eagles have a much better chance to beat the Chiefs. That's true. And so I don't, I don't, I don't wanna root for the Commanders, have them win and then just get smoked by the Chiefs and then Threepeat.

Patrick Mahomes is basically lights out in the Divisional Round

He plays in this divisional round and he's basically just, he's, I mean he's undefeated. He lights out. That's just what happens. He is six and oh. He has 1,813 total yards, 16 touchdowns... zero interceptions.

Travis Kelce ramps it up in the playoffs compared to the regular season

I do think this is where Travis Kelce ramps it up. Like, I like his over yards. I think this is, he, he, he plays in second gear for the majority of the regular season. And then when you get to these points... it's Travis Kelce or Mahomes using his feet.

If the Commanders keep the Lions game within one score in the 4th quarter, they will win

If we can keep it within a score, Jaden Daniels can go out there and win the game. And the Lions' buttholes might get tight.

Vic Fangio will dial up something to stifle the Rams offense

I think Vic Fangio is gonna have, he's gonna dial some shit up. Stafford, older, doesn't play well in cold weather. I think Vic Fangio is gonna have, he's gonna dial some shit up.

Lamar Jackson may struggle because he doesn't like the cold

Coldest game that Lamar Jackson's ever played. Guess what it was? 27. This is eight degrees is very different from 27. Lamar, in their earlier matchup this season, the temperature was like 60 and he was wearing a hoodie and a beanie for it. I don't know that Lamar loves the cold.

Only five teams can realistically win the Super Bowl

I have five teams... Philadelphia Eagles, the Detroit Lions, the Baltimore Ravens, the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills.

The Chargers will beat the Texans in the Wild Card round

Everything we just have said is just like, you should just take the [under]... I do think the Chargers win. I'm a little nervous about three just because it does feel like it's going to be a low scoring knockdown, drag out fight.

I love the over in the Bills vs. Broncos game

I think I love the over in this game. I love it. Love it, love it. I think that the, I mean the weakness of the bills is their defense has not been great... And Josh Allen has been playing out of his mind and I think that he will not be stopped either.

Jaden Daniels will run all over the Buccaneers

I think Jayden is going to run the fuck outta the football. And I think Austin Eckler is gonna run the fuck outta the football. I think that Todd Bowles is going to, if he tries to blitz Jayden the way that he did in week one, it's not gonna end up well for him.

I would rather have Mike McCarthy as my head coach than Brian Flores

I'd much rather have if given a choice, Mike McCarthy over Brian Flores... I think Brian Flores could be a very good head coach with a well established quarterback in place... I just don't want a defensive coach and I don't, I want Ben Johnson.

George Kittle is a first-ballot Hall of Famer

George Kittle should be in Canton. He is the fourth tight end all time to have four 1,000 yard seasons... George Kittle should be in a gold jacket. We'll start working on a PowerPoint. But he's an absolute monster.

The Panthers will cover +8 against the Buccaneers

I'll take the Panthers plus eight... I think the Panthers are live in this game... full on like the Panthers and the Cowboys are the two teams that stink but are playing actually good ball in the last month and feels like they're just ready to play spoiler.

Joe Mixon is a bust whenever he plays a top-12 rush defense

Kansas City has the seventh ranked rush defense, according to DVOA Joe Mixon rushing... Anytime he's had to play a top 12 rush defense... he has been bust. And if the Texans can't run the ball, I really don't like this offense.

TJ Watt's injury might be a psychological 'Art of War' ploy to trick the Ravens

I have a theory about TJ Watt's injury... I think this could be an Art of War situation. Sun Sue Art of War. Make your enemy think that you were weak when you were strong... Start throwing out the one in 10 without TJ Watts Stats... Let people start thinking during the week of practice. Maybe TJ's not gonna be playing this week.

Lamar Jackson will win MVP because of standalone games, but Josh Allen deserves it more

Lamar [Jackson] might win it just because he plays two standalone games. And that's all this award ends up coming down to... I think it should be Josh Allen. But I also understand that this award becomes narratives.

Any quarterback who loses their first Super Bowl appearance never returns to the big game

The curse of Jim Kelly is a curse that just hit the internet... essentially it's any quarterback that goes to a Super Bowl and loses their first one never goes back to the Super Bowl. Jalen Hurts did that... Stan Humphreys, Neil O'Donnell, drew Bledsoe... Joe Burrow. Jalen Hurts. Brock Purdy.

I bet $5,000 on the Philadelphia Eagles to win the Super Bowl

I put a bomb future down and I put it on the Eagles. I almost five have five grand on the Eagles plus four 50. That, that I almost biggest, that'll be the biggest bet I've ever won.

Michael Penix Jr. is the guy to finally unlock Bijan Robinson and Kyle Pitts

I think [Michael Penix Jr.] might be the guy to finally unlock Bijan [Robinson] and give us a proper... maybe Kyle Pitts just needs a left-handed quarterback.

Mike Vrabel and Josh McDaniels will be the next New England Patriots coaching duo

Vrabel McDaniels... that's the combo. [Josh] McDaniels had Mac Jones in the Pro Bowl... give me Vrabel and McDaniels and I am pumped.

The New York Jets will dominate the Jacksonville Jaguars

I think this is gonna be a shit kicking by the Jets... This is actually my game of the year. I think they're gonna take all the frustrations out of this dog shit season onto the Jaguars Sunday.

The Lions defense struggles against running quarterbacks

This is the week that the lions all their defensive injuries... This is an elite elite offense. And Aaron Glenn, I know this from experience because Justin Fields used to play well against Lions. Aaron Glenn's defenses don't do well against running quarterbacks. He refuses to do a spy.

Bills vs. Lions is a potential Super Bowl preview

Possible Super Bowl preview. This would be my dream Super Bowl matchup in terms of fans... in New Orleans. Holy shit. Would it rock just like partying with Lions and Bills fans all week.

Nepotism in football coaching is more acceptable than in playing because you work up through ranks

Coaching is a lot different than playing... Football is like the most, basketball is different. There's not a lot of examples of nepotism drafts. There's a million examples of nepotism coaching... He [Steve Belichick] worked his way up the ranks as any head coach that's ever head coached in the history of coaching has.

JJ McCarthy will end up being the best quarterback from the 2024 draft class

JJ McCarthy's gonna end up being the best quarterback from that draft class. Well, that's just what's gonna end up happening after all this discussion. And that JJ McCarthy's somehow gonna be like the best player of all time.

Mike Tomlin is the best coach in the NFL right now

I love Mike Tomlin more than anyone I think in the NFL right now. It's crazy how awesome he is. He is just, he gets in front of a room and I, you just get pumped up. He's the best.

Brock Bowers is the best tight end in the NFL and should win Rookie of the Year

Brock Bowers is first in receptions. He's fourth in yards. I know that it will go to a quarterback. But Brock Bowers the best tight end in the NFL. He should win Rookie of the Year.

The 49ers are just not a good team this year

Are the Niners just bad? Yeah, they're bad. I think they might be just bad. They're just bad this year. Like we just gotta accept the fact that they're just not good.

The Bears should fire Matt Eberflus immediately after a Thanksgiving loss

They should fire him after we get embarrassed by the Lions. Because at this point I know the Bears have never fired a coach in a hundred years history in Midseason at this point. You should honestly tell Caleb like, Hey we fucked up with Shane Waldron and Matt Eberflus our bad. We're firing him right now.

The Lions are the best team in the NFL in every category

I think the Lions... I think they're the best at everything. I really do. I think that they're, they have maybe the best running attack in the NFC... the Lions are better than the Eagles at almost everything.

Tua Tagovailoa will destroy the cold weather narrative against the Packers

I'm, I'm kind of in on Tua though, being a destroyer of narratives... for whatever reason, the fact that Tua talked about it, I think I'm in, I'm, I think I'm in on the Dolphins winning a game [in Green Bay].

The Colts will keep it close against the Lions

I actually think the Colts are gonna be in this game. I don't think the Colts are gonna win this game, but I think they're gonna keep it close. And it might be the dumbest thing ever. But I'm, I actually, no, I haven't, I haven't been bad. I just think seven and a half Colts really need these games.

The Patriots are the team nobody wants to play in the AFC East

I think so. Usually the, you know, with the Patriots, it's like all the trends reversing the Dolphins have always been like the boogeyman even when the, when Brady was there and the Patriots are good. This is the trend weekend reverse in our favor.

The Giants are starting Tommy DeVito because they are trying to tank

I think they're trying to lose. I think they're trying to lose and try to tank for a quarterback. Yeah. Which would make sense.

The Cardinals are for real

I'm ready to fully believe in the Cardinals. I might crown their asses. I just know the Cardinals feel like a very sound football team through and through off the bye week. Their eyes are there. They have the NFC West. If they could string together some more wins, especially in the division, they're undefeated in the division right now.

The Ravens' offense is unstoppable

I think the Ravens I believe are gonna be there no matter what because their offense feels unstoppable.

Shane Waldron was the primary issue behind the Bears' struggles

Shane Waldron is the Antichrist. Shane Waldron caused all the problems. Shane Waldron, every war tragedy, anything you can think of in history. Shane Waldron was the issue behind it... The only way I can tell myself that the Bears have a chance is that Shane Waldron was deliberately holding the Bears back in every capacity and now everything's gonna be different.

The Bears' organization has ruined Caleb Williams

The organization's a fucking joke... None of it makes sense. Everything sucks. The organization is a joke. They've ruined Caleb Williams.

Caleb Williams just needs a comfortable system and he will still be a good quarterback

Caleb Williams is still a good quarterback. He just needs to get in a comfortable system. He needs to not be like surrounded by a hurricane of shit... Don't make him feel like he's got too big a part of that failure right off the bat. Give him easy shit to do.

The Jets' defense does not travel well

Defense doesn't travel... We got smoked by the Cardinals. Graveyard teams.

Doug Pederson will be fired after the Lions game

This is Doug Peterson's firing game. It's a bye-week next week. Trevor Lawrence is hurt. Mac Jones is going again... If you're gonna fire Doug Peterson in season, it's going to be after playing the Lions going on a bye week. That all just kind of tracks, right?

The Jaguars +14 against the Lions is the NFL makes no sense game of the year

I think so. This is like, this is the 'NFL makes no sense' game of maybe the year... NFL makes no sense. There's not like stats behind it. I am very close. But that, but it happens every year. There's always games where it's like, how the fuck did the Lions lose to the Jaguars when the playoffs come?

The Broncos will beat the Falcons

I think the Broncos are going to get off the mat here and respond very well. And I think the Broncos are gonna win this game.

The Falcons are the perfect team to lose in Wild Card weekend

I think the Falcons, they're the perfect team that you would put into the slot of losing a Wild Card weekend playoff game.

The 49ers' offense is the second best in the NFL even without Christian McCaffrey

The 49ers are getting better on offense. So their offense without Christian McCaffrey for most of the season, they are plus 1.4 net yards per play, which is the second best offense in the NFL.

Harrison Butker being out makes the Bills a favorite over the Chiefs

Harrison Butker's hurt. Harrison Butker is out... Oh that's actually huge. Oh I might be Bills now because that, this does feel like a field goal game here.

The Chargers' defense is legitimately elite

The Chargers are the fourth team in the last 40 years to hold opponents under 21 points in their first nine games of the season. Only been done four times. Defense is legit. Legit.

I'm betting big on the Patriots to cover +6 against the Bears

I'm going to bet this will not be in the Hungry Dog. I'm going to place a large... I'm going to bet Big Patriots plus six. Because then I think the Patriots can keep it close. Cover that.

I'm betting on the Saints because Darren Rizzi's ears make him an interesting interim coach

Darren Rizzi's ears are fucked up. I don't know what the fuck is going on with his ears. No offense to his ears... It looks like he was wearing sunglasses made out of tungsten... I like that he's got bad ears. It makes it more interesting. Yeah, I like him. I'm gonna take the Saints.