Takes

I am officially out again 100% on Carson Wentz

The problem is when he makes a bad play like that one, it's like staring into Satan's butthole and you're like, I've never seen anything this ugly before in my life. It's terrible. I think now I'm officially out again, 100% on Carson Wentz.

Deebo Samuel will break Jerry Rice's 49ers single-season receiving record

Deebo Samuel is electric and Deebo Samuel is most likely if he stays healthy, going to break Jerry Rice's 49ers single-season record.

I am all aboard the Patriots playoff train

I'm all aboard the playoff training now. Okay. Mac Jones was airing it out. They kind of opened up the offense a little bit. It wasn't just dunking and dinking.

Trevor Lawrence is showing bust-like tendencies

I'm not going to say [Trevor Lawrence] is a bust just yet, but he's showing me bust-like tendencies. I can't really judge anything in this system and the whole Urban [Meyer] environment.

The Saints just have Tom Brady's number

The saints just have [Tom Brady's] number. I know that, you know, the Bucs beat the saints when it mattered in the playoffs... But the saints now, since Brady's gone to the AFC or NFC south, they're three and one against Tom Brady and he looks uncomfortable playing against them.

Kyler Murray is a soft football player

The story out of Glendale tonight, I think is that Kyler Murray is soft. This is soft football player. I haven't heard anybody drop the S bomb on him. I think he gets a lot of leniency because he's a short king. And I actually just think that he's a little bit soft.

The Detroit Lions will beat the Philadelphia Eagles outright

I agree with you, Hank. I think the lions are going to win outright... I'm strictly viewing this game as a matchup between Dan Campbell and Nick Sirianni. And I feel like, I feel like Dan Campbell just takes a shit all over Nick Sirianni's brain.

I would have been an elite wide receiver in the NFL

When they approach every brass, I was like, nah, I'm good... I am trying to get my knees blown out or anything. [But] I would still be fast, you know? So it's just running around the apartment, but still smoke anybody.

Peyton Manning essentially admitted to cheating by doctoring footballs on the ManningCast

Peyton Manning starts going off this rant about how the ball boys in Indianapolis use the special sauce and they did all these tricks of the trade and did all this shit with the ball... and it's just crickets. Why not have that conversation when Brady is on the air... and Peyton is just like, yeah, we had our special sauce.

Pete Carroll is coaching for his job and is just a manager of talent rather than an X's and O's guy

I think that Pete Carroll might be coaching for his job. What the absence of Russell Wilson has shown is that Pete Carroll, without an elite quarterback... Russell Wilson has been doing a lot to keep Pete Carroll looking like a great coach. I don't think he has a great X's and O's guy. I don't think he's a good decision maker.

There is a 94.9% chance Deshaun Watson is traded before the deadline

Percentage chance Deshaun Watson is traded in the next seven days, 10 days... 94.9% chance. Miami 75, Carolina 25... The chances of him being with the Texans next Tuesday after the trade deadline, very, very, very, very low.

The Bengals are officially a 'good team' and no longer just good on a curve

The big headline from this week is the Bengals are good. A good team, no longer are they just good in terms of grading on the curve of being the Cincinnati Bengals. Now they are actually just good, as far as NFL teams go.

The Bengals will finish the season with at least 10 wins

If you look at the rest of the schedule for the Bengals, I have some breaking news for you. Yeah. The Bengals are going to have at least 10 wins this year. Yeah, no. I mean, they could have 11 wins very easily.

The Bengals have a top 10 defense in the NFL

They are a very, very good team and their defense is really fucking good. Like they are—now I would, I don't know, advanced stats and all that stuff, but just the eyeball test. I'm going to say they're a top 10 defense.

The Kansas City Chiefs are broken

I'm officially they're broken if you think otherwise you're, you're, you're deluding yourself. Because like I said, if you just go through their schedule and who they've played, they've played four of the—outside of the Bengals who are the best team in AFC right now... they lost all of them. So it's, it's a real problem.

Taylor Heinecke is 'diet' Ryan Fitzpatrick

I've—like not to pat myself on the back—he is, he is diet Ryan Fitzpatrick. He's Ryan Fitzpatrick, everything Ryan Fitzpatrick is, but like without actually scoring touchdowns. It's just chaos whenever he's playing. Diet Ryan Fitzpatrick does everything that Ryan Fitzpatrick does, but he doesn't actually win the [game].

The Giants will finish second in the NFC East with 7 wins

My eye on the giants, because I think they're going to finish second place in the beast this year. I think they're going to end up with like seven wins. That's my prediction.

I refuse to quit Daniel Jones and am backing him for the season

Daniel Jones, by the way, we played very well. I'm backing on Danny dimes. I can't quit him... Anytime I'm backing on him. I am. I am. I don't, I can't quit this fucking guy.

Justin Fields cannot be judged by his performance during the 2021 season

I'm people are gonna tell me he's the worst. I'm going to wait till he has a real coaching staff... I'm going to wait and see, because I have no other option. And if he is not good, then everything's just terrible, terrible, terrible... that this season you can't judge what Justin Fields is doing.

The Cincinnati Bengals will be officially elevated to a good playoff team if they keep it close or beat the Baltimore Ravens

If the Bengals can keep this close or possibly win this game, they are officially elevated to a good team playoff team. Like, and I think they're right there. I think their defensive played very well.

I am officially on my 'last straw' with the Washington Football Team's organization

My announcement is I am officially on my last straw. Washington football team last straw. In fact, I went out, I bought a straw... If it gets anything bad, happens to the point where I, I lose faith in this organization again. Well, what, what Hank you, what else could they do that during my soul to you? They're only good players dead. And they fucked up his retirement ceremony.

NFL ratings and money are the only reason quarterbacks are over-protected by rules

I think their ratings went down when quarterbacks got hurt and people didn't want to watch the games. So they just started protecting them more so than they ever did... I always choose this money. It's always been about the money. If they actually cared about the players, they wouldn't address this issue decades ago.

John Gruden's $100 million contract was fair because his presence makes teams money

Overrated 10 million a year for John Gruden is a fair fucking price... when the Raiders, when he coaches the Raiders, the Raider fans show up, they make money and they become a competitive team. That's a hundred million dollar contract. You over 10 years. That's 10 million a year. That's chicken, shit money.

I could have been a great NFL linebacker at my peak

I believe I could have been a great linebacker. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think I would have, you know, I love Aaron Donald and he's probably my favorite player. So I watch a little bit because of this guy... I believe I could have been a great, you know, linebacker.

The Bills will finish as the 1-seed in the AFC despite the Titans loss

The bills will be fine. They have, I think the second easiest or easiest schedule for the rest of the year. So they'll, I still think they'll probably end up with the one seed because they, I mean, even their next three games, the bills play the dolphins, the Jaguars, the jets.

Trevor Lawrence is the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances

Trevor Lawrence is actually the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances, given the fact that his coach [Urban Meyer] is the horniest guy in the world, the team stinks... he's providing a steady hand and he's guiding this franchise during a tumultuous time.

Tua Tagovailoa is a 'wait and see' guy who will ruin your franchise

When you have a guy that is a wait and see guy, those are the worst guys. Those are the guys that like 10 years from now, 15 years from now, you look back and you're like, well, we really wasted three years... the wait and see guys, they will ruin your franchise because you're like, I think this guy can be good if we just get stability around him.

You cannot trust a left-handed quarterback

I do think when you're a wait and see guy and your guy that might not be very good is also a lefty... I don't know, I really do think lefties, I think we've heard players say that it's weird, it's different catching a ball from a lefty... I've just always thought lefties are weird.

The Cincinnati Bengals are 'good-ish' and will be a .500 team

I'm officially ready to declare today at 4-2... the Cincinnati Bengals are good-ish. I'm looking at the Bengals schedule moving forward... I think the Bengals are going to be a .500 ball club.

Joe Judge will be the first NFL coach fired

I think we're officially on Joe Judge watch... things fall apart very quickly for Joe Judge types... he feels like the first to go.

Aaron Rodgers still owns the Chicago Bears and it is soul-crushing

Aaron Rodgers owns my fucking life and I'm sick of it... He's 22-5 against the Bears. Rent-free doesn't begin to cut it... it sucks how much he owns the Bears.

Patrick Mahomes is still the best quarterback in the NFL

Yeah, he's still the best quarterback in the NFL when he's like—the reason why he gets like rope here, it's just the same way that like Aaron Rodgers gets rope... I'm not concerned long term.

The Washington Football Team exploited Sean Taylor's death to distract from front office scandals

If they literally were exploiting Sean Taylor's death, the one player that I care about... to get the stank off of their front office, that's a new low. And I think they were. I might be out.

Sam Darnold is definitely not fixed

The idea that Sam Darnold was fixed because he left the Jets is just insane. He was bad again today... Breaking news: he's not fixed.

The Green Bay Packers will not win the Super Bowl because Aaron Rodgers doesn't win championships anymore

I don't think that the Packers can be in [Super Bowl contenders] unfortunately... because Aaron Rodgers, he doesn't win championships.

I was rooting for the Patriots over Tom Brady and the Bucs

I was rooting for the Pats [over the Bucs]. I mean, my guy [Brady] gets all... He gets a little sensitive sometimes. He's my best friend, and... I don't think he probably would [say I'm his best friend], not anymore. Why would I ever root [against the Patriots]?

The 49ers are my second favorite team and I love Kyle Shanahan

I'm rooting for the Niners number two. Big Niners guy. I like the Niners. I like [Kyle] Shanahan. I think he's a good coach. I like the defense. I like [George] Kittle, even though he's hurt right now. I grew up loving the 49ers.

I am selling all my Jalen Hurts stock

He drifts in the most unproductive angles. He runs backwards into the sideline and tries to throw the ball away. He's had a couple games where he's played well. I'm not buying Jalen Hurts. If he's a stock, I think I'm selling all my stocks that I have in Jalen Hurts.

Jalen Hurts is Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right

I think I'm sticking with what I said on Monday is that [Jalen Hurts] is Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right.

Bill Belichick told me it's okay to criticize the Patriots in the media

[Belichick] goes, like, if you have to motherfuck us, you can motherfuck us. He was telling me to do my job. It felt like a mafia meeting. It was cool.

Mac Jones has very impressive pocket awareness for a young quarterback

What I'm most impressed about with Mac [Jones] is his ability to sidestep a guy in the pocket, step up, keep his eyes downfield... and be able to deliver a ball. Those are things that you don't see very often from younger quarterbacks. That calm, cool, collect in his pocket awareness. He's not mobile by any means, but his ability to move in the pocket... he's got a good foundation going.

The Bills are the #1 team in the league right now

My current BCS rankings have the Cardinals and the Bills, one and two. [But] the fun fact about the Bills, they have double the point differential than the second team not named the Cardinals... The Bills are plus 108. They are fucking killing people. We can agree. Bills should be at the top.

The Cowboys -3.5 at the Patriots is my favorite bet of the week

My favorite favorite is Cowboys, minus three and a half at the Patriots... I like the Cowboys in this one. Patriots are going to have a long Sunday. I've been looking at the rat lines for the last few weeks and just betting the square side of the rat lines. And it's been a pretty successful strategy for me so far.

The Browns will beat the Cardinals and hand them their first loss

My favorite favorite is the Browns, minus three... I also just think the Cardinals are due for – they've been flirting with it. They're due for a loss, and they're due for the Browns to run the ball down their throat. I do think the Browns are going to beat them. I think the Browns are going to man up on them.

The Bears will cover +4.5 against the Packers

I actually think the Bears might win, but Bears plus 4.5... I have a feeling their defense is playing well... By the end of the week, I'm like, we're going to fucking win this game. Jalen Johnson's going to lock down Davante Adams. If the Bears win this game, they are now officially a borderline playoff team.

The Raiders will bounce back with interim coach Rich Bisaccia

I am all in on this Rich Bisaccia guy... Crying about your men and your opportunities, that's football guy stuff. I think they're gonna bounce back here for a couple weeks and it's gonna be a few weeks before they fall back to earth but I think they're gonna get something out of this guy... the Raiders and interim Rich and I'm in. I'm all in.

Arrowhead is the loudest stadium in the world because of me

I'm the one that helped bring two Guinness World Records for crowd noise, Arrowhead Stadium. It's the current Guinness World Record for crowd noise, 142.2 decibels. We're the loudest stadium, not only in the NFL, but the world. I brought that to Kansas City with my friends. I got Guinness. I got the Chiefs. I set it all up.

Mark Davis should be the interim head coach of the Raiders

Mark Davis should be the coach. Give us Mark Davis as the coach of the Raiders today. Why not? [Al Davis] did it. His dad did it. He would be awesome.

The Chiefs should trade Patrick Mahomes

A lot of people around the league, league circles, are saying the story out of Kansas City is that the Chiefs should trade Patrick Mahomes. They're saying that a lot of willing partners out there... Washington football team would be one, probably. But if I'm a Chiefs fan, man, I'll tell you, I'd run that guy out of town on a rail.

Justin Herbert is currently the best-playing quarterback in the NFL

Who is the quarterback you think is playing the best right this second? [Booger]: Justin Herbert. I don't think it's close. We paid so much attention to his personality that we overlooked his talent. And the Miami Dolphins did so much that they took Tua in front of him. How about them apples?