Takes

The Cleveland Browns will beat the Chiefs in the divisional round

I think that the Browns are going to win too. I really do... so I feel like the Browns, this could be the year for them.

Philip Rivers will struggle against the Bills because he stinks in cold weather

Philip Rivers playing in temperature under 32 degrees, 1-5 all time. I'm really just going off of closing my eyes, thinking about a 29-degree day, thinking about Phil Rivers wearing 16 pairs of long johns and turtlenecks, and him trying to climb the pocket and pass the ball to the far hash, and it just not getting it.

The Colts only win if Jonathan Taylor rushes for over 210 yards

If there's a way that the Colts win, it's by Jonathan Taylor running for 225 yards. But barring that, if he gets under 200 yards, then the Bills will win. Every single time Jonathan Taylor has rushed for over 210 yards in a game, the Colts win.

The Buffalo Bills are the most complete team in the NFL

The Bills, weeks 1 through 9, they were 24th in defense, and then weeks 10 through 17, they are 6th, and they are giving up 20 points a game. Flip the switch. They are the complete team.

Tom Brady struggles in night games because he goes to bed too early

Tom Brady... One in six last seven night games. One in six last seven night games, nine touchdowns, eight interceptions. If you don't think this guy goes to sleep at 7 o'clock every night, you're crazy.

Drew Brees is the most washed player in NFL history

Drew Brees... I probably think he's the most washed person of all time.

Josh Allen is better than Patrick Mahomes right now

Josh Allen... He's legitimately playing the best football right now. So, you know, I'm sure some people – I might take him over almost anybody but Aaron [Rodgers]. I might take him over Mahomes right now in this moment.

Brian Daboll will be hired as a head coach after this season

He's [Josh Allen] going to get Daboll hired, man. Brian Daboll is going to get it. That dude is a dude's dude, and I know that him and Josh are really tight, and he's absolutely going to get a really good job off this.

Roughly 21% of NFL players are on performance-enhancing drugs

I would say probably five to seven different types of things. Oh, yeah, 20, 21%. Just stuff.

Greg Williams' practice style stunted Sam Darnold's development

The things that Sam [Darnold] sees on the practice field from Gregg Williams will set a quarterback back years. You remember when Sam Darnold said 'I was seeing ghosts'? Well, part of that, that's part of the process, and I'm not blaming it on Gregg, but there needs to be a progression. You can't bring a young quarterback on with all that stuff going on.

Kyle Trask's facial hair proves he is not a franchise quarterback

If you were scouting this crop of quarterbacks, Kyle Trask's facial hair is a huge negative. That is not a franchise quarterback. That is a long reliever... If I were one of the scouts, that'd be the first thing I'd ask. I'd be like, how much are you in love with your facial hair? Because it has to go.

The NFL should let Bill Belichick or Nick Saban coach the Browns for their playoff game

The real solution, and I'm being dead serious on this: they should just be like, 'Bill Belichick can coach the Browns this week.' Wouldn't that be the greatest entertainment to be like, 'Okay, let's see how great of a coach you are, Belichick.' You show up, five days to prep the team. Browns fans would absolutely take it.

The Browns are a team of destiny because the Super Bowl is the anniversary of their mascot dog Swagger's death

I got a little sliver of hope for Browns fans. And that's that you are a team of destiny... the Super Bowl is being on the one-year anniversary of Swagger's death. Their dog died a year ago on the exact date of the Super Bowl... Swagger one laid the foundation for Swagger two to come in and turn the Browns into a winning team. One year later, I feel like they get that team of destiny vibe.

JJ Watt's heartfelt apology to Deshaun Watson was staged for the cameras

My Hot Seat is the Texans camera crew... JJ Watt and Deshaun Watson were sharing a heartfelt moment of JJ Watt apologizing to Deshaun Watson and he said, 'I'm sorry we wasted a season for you.' And a fucking camera guy caught it... he's got to be pretty embarrassed about that because that's something that, you know, between teammates... or else everyone's going to know what a great dude you are.

I am retiring on my terms (sort of)

For me, unless a super enticing offer comes down the pipe... as far as me in my career and where my family's at, man, I couldn't be more happy and content and satisfied with my journey... and this is the end of the road. I wanted to just let it be known that I'm going to go out on my terms and call it a career... Well, the paperwork hasn't been final filed as of yet.

This 2020 Packers squad is the best Green Bay team in a decade

One of the words that was brought up last year a lot with this Green Bay Packer team was 'soft.' ... but they have seemed to remove that the last six weeks of the regular season... To me, this is the best Green Bay Packer football team probably in a decade.

The Bills and Chiefs are the biggest threats to the Packers winning a title

I think the teams truly to worry for the Green Bay Packers are in the AFC. I think it's the Chiefs with their ability to score really fast. And I think it's the Buffalo Bills because Josh Allen somehow grew a hose in the last offseason and can throw the ball at any point in time.

Tom Brady is 1-3 against the NFC East in the playoffs and we are the best division at beating him

Tom Brady [is] 1 and 3 against the NFC East in the playoffs. You might recall we're the best division against Tom Brady. So I said before the game, I was going to wait for the giants. If the football team lost, I want to open up the bandwagon.

The Eagles players have to be pissed at Doug Pederson for throwing the game by benching Jalen Hurts

I would be pissed if I was an Eagles player. Oh. And because the Eagles player like, what does an Eagles player care? What if they're going to move up three spots in the draft, but the time of the player that you draft is going to be like, Oh, a really good player. You're probably be retired or on a different team.

The Baltimore Ravens are officially the team that no one wants to play in the playoffs

Starting with the Ravens Bengals the Baltimore Ravens. We said it last week. They are the team officially. No one wants to play. They got their swagger back. Five straight wins, 525 yards, 404 yards rushing.

Tua Tagovailoa has bust tendencies and the Dolphins should draft a quarterback at number three

To [Tua], I think it might be a bust. Well, he has, he has bust tendencies right now... You're not going to be back in the top three for a long time. Take the quarterback and Tua still has a ton of value. Like if you want to trade Tua, I bet you can get a second round pick for him at least.

The Buffalo Bills are a wagon and will play in the AFC Championship game

The Bills are a wagon... I like the Bills. One of the Bills we're going to go to the AFC championship game. They just are. I'm not getting to the bills are gonna play in the AFC championship game.

Tom Brady stinks in prime time and starts sundowning at 7:00 PM

It's going to be a night game, Tom Brady. Let's talk about it. And he starts sundowning at seven. My theory. Yep. He can't. He stinks in prime time.

Aaron Rodgers is the MVP and lives to kick the shit out of me and the Bears

I hate [Rodgers], but I also will at least say he's the MVP and guess what? He's fucking good. And he lives to kick the shit out of the Bears in the city of Chicago and me. That's just the fact.

Kliff Kingsbury is a big-time fraud and I'm revoking his offensive guru card

Kliff Kingsbury. He waved the white flag on the entire season. Like they actually could of made the Playoffs. This was, it was delivered to them on gold platter. Like you were playing John Wolford... This was, this is the biggest indictment on, on Kliff Kingsbury that he's ever produced thus far. This game was his masterpiece explaining to everybody else. What we saw on him, which was big time fraud.

Every team in the NFC playoffs except for the Bears and Washington can win the Super Bowl

I actually would contend that everyone except us can go to the super bowl... outside of the bear's in the Washington football team... there are no frauds in the NFC Playoffs except for the Washington football team and the Chicago bears.

Derrick Henry should be in the MVP conversation after rushing for 2,000 yards

Derrick Henry should be in the MVP conversation. It's Aaron Rogers MVP, but he should at least be considered because the last running back to when an MVP was 2012, Adrian Peterson who ran for 2000 yards.

Cam Newton has to retire after his performance against the Bills

The Buffalo bills, our fucking weapon, Josh Allen, when in Foxborough beat what was left with the Patriots Cam Newton I mean, I think he has to retire. I don't really know what at this point, it, it, it was sad.

The Buffalo Bills will beat the Chiefs in the playoffs and go to the Super Bowl

I think that the Buffalo bills could very well beat the Chiefs. In fact, it definitely can. I think that the Buffalo bills will beat the chiefs in the playoffs. Wow. I'm going to be the first. I'm going to be the first that I heard. Say it to say it. Okay. The Buffalo bills are going to the super bowl.

Dwayne Haskins will start another game in the NFL

I guarantee you, I will bet you a thousand dollars that [Haskins] will start another game. It might be a situation where he's a back up and gets in at the start because of an injury.

I vomit before every single NFL game as part of my routine

As soon as we come back in from warmups, I go puke... I always think I'm like, all right, I'm going to step faster now. And that's my positive mindset.

The Pro Football Hall of Fame should not be for 'very good' players

What I would say is it, shouldn't be hard to make it into the hall of fame. Absolutely. It's not the whole of very, very good. And I love it. It's the hall of fame.

Aaron Rodgers is going to win the MVP and he deserves it

Aaron Rodgers is the MVP... I have to just sit here and say, he is most likely going to win the MVP. It's probably deserved. The Packers look awesome.

The Titans defense is not good enough to compete in the playoffs

The Titans are, I don't know what—I mean, they're kind of what we think. Like they're just—they can look explosive sometimes, but their defense is not good... I just don't think their defense can hang. They have no pass rush. There's zero pass rush and they just don't get off the field on third down.

Kliff Kingsbury is a failure who has succeeded solely because he is attractive

Kliff Kingsbury. Are we sure he's good? It's kind of amazing when you look back at Kliff Kingsbury's entire resume and you realize like, oh, attractive people do really run this world. If you are a good looking guy and you can walk into a meeting and wow someone, you can fail upwards all the way. Kliff Kingsbury was 35 and 40 as the head coach at Texas Tech. He had two winning seasons out of six... Kliff Kingsbury, not very good.

Ryan Fitzpatrick should be in the Hall of Fame as a contributor to the game

I actually think that Ryan Fitzpatrick should be in the Hall of Fame. I think he should be a Hall of Famer. Not just memorable, not just because the bust would be legendary with the beard in it, but because like he's provided so many great memories... if he's not a player, he should be contributor to the game and get into the NFL. Absolutely.

The Chiefs are playing too cute and it might cost them in the playoffs

I've got a take about the Chiefs. I think the Chiefs are getting too cute with it. They're playing too cute football out there. Are they too cute to win in the playoffs? I don't know. They used to be exactly the right amount of cute, but now it's like they've gone Anne Hathaway and all I need is an Emma Stone.

The 2020 Steelers are the worst 11-3 team in sports history

I tweeted out that they are—are they the worst 11 and 3 team in any sport in history? And I think they still might be. I don't see the Steelers being able to win in the playoffs.

You should always root for your team to make the playoffs, even if they'll get crushed

I know I've seen this like, 'Oh, why would you want to get in the playoffs and get the shit kicked out of you so that you get the worse draft picks?' What are you talking about? Being in the playoffs is all—that's what you root for... give me a seat at the table. A chip and a chair.

The Ravens are officially the team that no one wants to play in the playoffs

I think the Ravens officially have become the team no one wants to play. We cast them off and now I think they are officially the team no one wants to play in the playoffs. I really do.

There is a 0% chance of beating a team if their coach smashes a watermelon before the game

I can't be—I'm 0 and 2 in watermelon games. I bet way too much on watermelons. I hate these watermelon games. I've lost so much money to the fucking watermelons. I cannot—there's a 0% chance of beating a watermelon team.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are straight up frauds

The Pittsburgh Steelers are frauds straight up frauds. 11 and 0 to 11 and 3 losing as 14 point favorites to the Bengals. They are broken, they are hurt. They are damaged. And I don't know, like, has there ever been a team that's gone 11-0 and finished 11 and 5 and still going to the playoffs?

Eli Manning had the best retirement strategy by leaving early rather than hanging on like Big Ben

Who actually is coming out the biggest winner, Phillip Rivers, Eli Manning. Eli Manning retired first. He was the first to leave the party. Now he was obviously, when he got bad at the end, it was bad, but our lasting memories are now going to be a bad, bad Big Ben... Eli's just sitting, eating, whatever, like sloppy Joes... and he's going to end up being like, Oh, remember Eli. He was awesome. He never got bad. He's like, it is a great lesson. Like leave the party, be the first to leave.

If the Titans can't run the ball down the Packers' throat, the Packers are frauds

This game to me is everything. Unfortunately it is everything. Because if the Titans can't run the ball down the Packer's throat and score at will, I'm going to start having very bad feelings about the Packers being frauds.

Army football players and soldiers are the 'last of the hards'

The over 1 million men and women who serve in the United States army that we represent when we go and play in this bowl game and we play every week, they are the last of the hard... they are the people who are willing to do the hard jobs and other people don't want to do to stand in the gap between freedom and those wanting to take it from us. And it takes a hard person that's determined and has a spirit about them that's different.

Kevin Stefanski should be the NFL Coach of the Year

Kevin Stefanski gets my vote that I don't have, but I'm going to say it anyway. He gets my vote. He gets this podcast vote for coach of the year. The Pardon My Take podcast is getting behind Kevin Stefanski as coach of the year.

The Bills are good enough to beat the Chiefs and win the Super Bowl

The team that we've seen from the Bills in the last two weeks, they could beat the Chiefs in the playoffs. Yes. If everything goes correctly, like their defense is good enough, Josh Allen is fucking hard enough.

The Buccaneers are frauds who rely too heavily on 'flipping the switch'

My question from this game: are the Bucs frauds? I think the Bucs are relying on flipping the switch. And I feel like if you are... the Chiefs can be a flip the switch team. Tom Brady and the Patriots can be a flip the switch team. The Bucs have not done it. So you can't be like, 'Hey, we're going to flip this switch.' I feel like the switch isn't there.

Ryan Tannehill is a top five quarterback in the NFL

Ryan Tannehill deserves the credit for being an awesome quarterback the last year and a half. One of the top five quarterbacks in the league. Whether you think he's ranked there or not, he's ranked there statistically.

Matt Stafford is the toughest player in the NFL

Matt Stafford is the toughest motherfucker in the league. He had hurt ribs... didn't practice all week... and still like kept the Lions in this game for three quarters. This dude is a fucking horse. He's always, there's always something going on with him, but not in a Ben Roethlisberger type way.