Kyle Trask's facial hair makes him look like a mediocre 6th-inning reliever, not a franchise quarterback

If you were scouting this crop of quarterbacks, Kyle Trask's facial hair is a huge negative. That is not a franchise quarterback. That is a... like a 6th-inning reliever. Maybe a long reliever. Not a good reliever, I'm talking about a guy who comes in when someone gets shelled.

The NFL should let Bill Belichick or Nick Saban coach the Browns for their playoff game

The real solution, and I'm being dead serious on this: they should just be like, 'Bill Belichick can coach the Browns this week.' Wouldn't that be the greatest entertainment to be like, 'Okay, let's see how great of a coach you are, Belichick.' You show up, five days to prep the team. Browns fans would absolutely take it.

The Browns are a team of destiny because the Super Bowl is the anniversary of their mascot dog Swagger's death

I got a little sliver of hope for Browns fans. And that's that you are a team of destiny... the Super Bowl is being on the one-year anniversary of Swagger's death. Their dog died a year ago on the exact date of the Super Bowl... Swagger one laid the foundation for Swagger two to come in and turn the Browns into a winning team. One year later, I feel like they get that team of destiny vibe.

JJ Watt's heartfelt apology to Deshaun Watson was staged for the cameras

My Hot Seat is the Texans camera crew... JJ Watt and Deshaun Watson were sharing a heartfelt moment of JJ Watt apologizing to Deshaun Watson and he said, 'I'm sorry we wasted a season for you.' And a fucking camera guy caught it... he's got to be pretty embarrassed about that because that's something that, you know, between teammates... or else everyone's going to know what a great dude you are.

UConn is the real 2020 National Champion for opting out of the season

My Hot Seat is Alabama and Ohio State. They're playing in the national championship on Monday, but they aren't the national champions... the University of Connecticut, because they were the first football subdivision team to squarely face the coronavirus and decided against playing a single snap during a raging pandemic, should be our 2020-21 national champ. They are the real champions.

The 'COVID issues' at Ohio State are just a cover for Justin Fields' bruised ribs

Stay woke: they have COVID issues [at Ohio State]. Does it happen to be somewhere around Justin Fields' ribs? ... An extra week would help those bruised ribs. So I would say in terms of a punctured lung, calling it a rib issue... I feel like it would help.

Dana White is going to honey-pot UFC streamers with virus-infected links

Dana White says he has a special surprise for anyone who pirates his UFC... I bet he is going to send out a bunch of troll links... all infected with viruses. So he makes people scared. It's like a landmine.

I am retiring on my terms (sort of)

For me, unless a super enticing offer comes down the pipe... as far as me in my career and where my family's at, man, I couldn't be more happy and content and satisfied with my journey... and this is the end of the road. I wanted to just let it be known that I'm going to go out on my terms and call it a career... Well, the paperwork hasn't been final filed as of yet.

The 1951 NFL single-game passing record is fraudulent because of how yards were measured back then

I feel like yards were not the same distance back then. It was just some guy in the back of the end zone stepping off feet as best as he could. [The record] is bullshit.

This 2020 Packers squad is the best Green Bay team in a decade

One of the words that was brought up last year a lot with this Green Bay Packer team was 'soft.' ... but they have seemed to remove that the last six weeks of the regular season... To me, this is the best Green Bay Packer football team probably in a decade.

Akiem Hicks is the most important player on the Bears' defense

When Akiem Hicks isn't being absolutely dominant in his position, drawing all kinds of attention, Khalil Mack isn't the same guy. He's getting too much double teams, too much attention from offensive coordinators to really be impactful this year.

The Bills and Chiefs are the biggest threats to the Packers winning a title

I think the teams truly to worry for the Green Bay Packers are in the AFC. I think it's the Chiefs with their ability to score really fast. And I think it's the Buffalo Bills because Josh Allen somehow grew a hose in the last offseason and can throw the ball at any point in time.

Snapchat will eventually be used to blackmail future politicians

I think Snapchat is going to have a huge blackmail on future politicians... You have a bunch of dumb 14-year-olds and teenagers and stuff, and then in the future they might be important people and there's a whole cloud of data... I think there will be a scandal that happens in the next 20 years where a Comcast or a major internet service provider just gets hacked or they release a bunch of documents and it's just everybody's search history and internet history.