Takes

Chris Godwin is a Robin, not a Batman, in the Buccaneers' wide receiver room.

[Chris Godwin] is not a one. He's definitely not a one. He's a Robin. He's not Batman, but he's a Robin.

Jadeveon Clowney is no longer a good football player

Like Jadeveon Clowney in college, I was like, that guy's not going to be good at the next level because he wears number two. I was right. He's not good anymore.

No NFL quarterback wearing a visor will ever win a Super Bowl

My second hot take was, I don't think that quarterbacks with visors will win a Super Bowl ever. Has a quarterback with a visor won a Super Bowl ever?

Joe Judge has officially changed the culture of the New York Giants

So Joe Judge, just the idea that Joe Judge would possibly go at an offensive lineman, a former offensive lineman, now offensive line coach, means that Joe Judge has officially changed the culture for the New York Giants, and they are a goodish football team.

I could definitely beat up Matt Nagy

I could beat up Matt Nagy for sure. I'd just be like, dude, your play calling sucks.

Michael Thomas is a terrible fit for Jameis Winston's deep-passing skill set

I can't think of a wide receiver that fits Jameis Winston's skill set less than Michael Thomas. Just running slants, just going as close to linebackers as possible. Bad, bad. Yeah, just tell him, I know that your captain slant runs straight downfield. Go deep, go deep.

Matt Patricia is the 'dumbest rocket scientist' in the world

I think that Matt Patricia is, without a doubt, the dumbest rocket science on the face of the earth right now.

The 2020 Steelers are a 'fun' offensive team, not just a defensive juggernaut

I'm starting to embrace the fact that the Steelers are fun... the Steelers are a fun offensive football team, and it's taken me probably two and a half years of them actually being electric on offense for me to accept that fact.

The Raiders are not a legitimate postseason threat despite their 6-3 record

The Raiders are an interesting team... I still don't think that this team is a team that's going to go far in the postseason, even though they're 6-3.

The Packers defense is soft and will struggle in the late season

I think that their defense—I know they get a couple corners back, but I think their defense is somewhat soft and finesse a little bit. I think that you can have some success on this defense... they probably will have a little bit of difficulty when it gets late in the season.

Justin Jefferson must be the centerpiece of the Vikings offense over Dalvin Cook

You can't throw the ball too little to Justin Jefferson, too much to Justin Jefferson. This dude is a complete freak. And it just sickens me... to see this offense run the ball first down after first down with Dalvin Cook picking up three yards... Just throw the ball more to [Jefferson] and stop running the ball on first downs with Dalvin Cook.

Nick Foles is not a consistent starting quarterback in the NFL

Nick Foles... He's not good. He's not good at playing football. Like, he's not good at being a quarterback. It's just... Objectively, he's just not. He's just found himself in a couple good situations. Right. He's reached incredible heights, and he's had incredible moments. But, like, game to game, he is not a consistent starter in the NFL.

The Bears will be chasing the mistake of drafting Mitch Trubisky for a decade

These are the repercussions of missing. When you take a swing for the fences on a quarterback in the first round and you miss, you feel it for a decade going forward. The Bears will be chasing that mistake for a very long time.

The Ravens are frauds

Week 10 in the books. The Ravens are frauds. Confirmed.

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs. And I still think that.

God is the Browns' best offensive coordinator

If you're a Browns fan, you're sitting here on Monday and being like, I think God is a Browns fan now. Because God, who decides the weather obviously, keeps doing the worst possible weather in Cleveland on game days and forcing the Browns to run the football. God is literally your best offensive coordinator. He's saying, do not throw it a million times. Run the rock.

The Chiefs, Lions, Falcons, and Chargers are the funnest teams to watch because of the inevitable chaos

I would put like the Chiefs, the Lions, the Falcons, and the Chargers as like the funnest teams to watch in the NFL, knowing that some crazy shit's going to happen. Like a 21-point lead [blowing it]. Some sort of heartbreak occur to the Lions franchise.

I would draft a punter first overall as an NFL GM

If I were a GM for an NFL franchise, I think I would draft a punter first overall. Because these punters, like when Johnny Hecker does his thing for the Rams... That's how you make up for being an inferior team.

The Giants are a good football team and will win the NFC East

The Giants are going to win the NFC East. Yeah, they are. The Giants are actually, dare I say it, a good football team. I'm graduating them. Yeah, I am. I'm saying they're a good football team.

The Giants are better without Saquon Barkley

So what you're basically saying is that the Giants are better without Saquon Barkley. Yes. I forgot he existed. I legit, before you said that word, holy shit... with those two guys' [Gallman/Morris] skill sets, it's actually a plus improvement over losing Saquon Barkley.

Mike Evans is a top three wide receiver in the NFL

I think Mike Evans, I think he continues to be kind of like an underrated wide receiver... I think he's probably top three wide receiver in the NFL.

Andrew Luck will eventually go to Denver to win a Super Bowl

You know who [Elway] could call? Andrew Luck. Yep. That's true. Stanford connection. Andrew Luck to Denver. Follows in the footsteps of Peyton, former Colt, going to Denver to win a Super Bowl.

The Dolphins are for real and past the 'frisky' stage

The Dolphins, they're for real. Yeah. I've got them in my for real column. Yes. They're not a fluke... They have been elevated from frisky to, for real, the next step is legit.

Kyler Murray is now must-watch TV

But Kyler Murray, who is now – like, he is officially elevated to must-watch, like – drop everything you have to watch every time he's got the ball that was insane that was an insane play.

Russell Wilson is only playing poorly because he's secretely hurt

Is Russell Wilson hurt? He's got to be hurt, Big Cat. He's got to be hurt. He was in the middle of an MVP season. He's got to be hurt. If you don't know, Russell Wilson is one of the – there's certain athletes that are so beloved that the only way they can ever be bad is if they're hurt... they're like, well, he must be hurt.

Drew Brees' injury is actually to his shoulder, not his ribs

Drew Brees hurt his ribs. Quote, unquote, ribs. You're skeptical about that... Drew Brees has a bad shoulder. Okay. He got slammed on his shoulder. Okay. His shoulder's hurt. He probably still has broken ribs... Watch the replay and tell me his shoulders hurt. I watched the replay many times. I want you to watch it again and tell me his shoulders hurt.

I will get a tattoo of Drew Brees' touchdown total if he wins the Super Bowl

I have to get a tattoo if Drew Brees wins the Super Bowl... No, I said that if Drew Brees wins the Super Bowl, I'll get a tattoo of whatever number of touchdowns he ends up with.

The Tennessee Titans are frauds

We have to talk about the Tennessee Titans being frauds and having the worst special teams of all time. Fraudulent football team.

A punter should be able to play with a broken wrist

I think that if you're a punter with a broken wrist and I want to be the heart of football guy... you should be able to punt with a broken wrist. If you're a punter, that's the one thing in your life that you should be able to still do with a broken wrist.

Derrick Henry is not a good short-yardage back

I want to give credit a lot of credit to our own Billy football for initiating the take that Derrick Henry is not a good short yardage back... he doesn't like getting the ball up the middle... he's built like a horse, not an ox... he's all gam and no hams.

I'm hammering the Giants +3.5 against the Eagles

I don't understand why the Giants are three and a half point underdogs when it feels like the Giants play every game to a point... I'm taking the Giants. I'm hammering the Giants.

Tom Brady has 'sundowning' dementia and can't play well at night

Is there a chance Tom Brady just too old to play at night? ...another telltale sign of dementia is called sundowning where the closer that it gets to dusk the lower capacity our brain functions at... I do believe that Tom Brady battling through his dementia is better in the one o'clock time slot.

Don't take the Chargers moneyline; they always lose by exactly one point

I want to take the Chargers based solely off the fact that they're going to lose this game by exactly one point and I know that... you'd be an idiot to take the money line for the Chargers.

Kliff Kingsbury is an airhead and a bimbo, not a genius

I don't think the Kliff Kingsbury is an offensive genius. No, I think he's a dummy. I think he's a fucking airhead. He's a bimbo. He's a member... he's all looks.

The Patriots will beat the Ravens on Sunday Night Football

Patriots defense is atrocious. How do you feel about this game? Survive and advance... I think it's going to be close with the Patriots squeaking out a win... Cam Newton getting revenge for it happening against the Bills.

My parlay system is designed to never lose all your money

Basically what I've done is I've figured out how to make sure that you don't lose all your money... it certainly is like making an app. I've got up to 31.25% that I break even. It's not going to win you money, but it's going to help you budget your bet better.

Patrick Mahomes is the MVP of the season

The Chiefs have the defending champs and they have to me the MVP of the season now is my prediction going in and just so you know, I'm not the only one saying that... Mahomes.

The Patriots are playoff bound and good

The Patriots playoff bound playoff bound... They're good. It's a good they should have beat the bills. They should have beat the seahawks. They could it be the chiefs... I think they're going to go on a run.

The Chiefs are the only team in the NFL without a major flaw

I've come to the conclusion that it's the Chiefs and everyone else like every other team and I unfortunately I love the Steelers, but every other team has at least one flaw where you're like, I don't know. I don't really trust this and then the Chiefs don't.

The Patriots will beat the Ravens next week

I actually believe it. If Stephon Gilmore comes back... I think they're gonna beat the Ravens and then everyone's going to flip.

The Jets are better than an 0-16 team and will win a game

The Jets don't feel like an 0-16 team... they're going to win a game. They feel like you can tell when you see an 0-16 team and you're like, there's just no chance. The Jets feel just a little bit literally one game better than 0-16.

I would give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl

Would you give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl? Yeah, probably I would... but I don't want to have that fun taken away. Like, why would I do that to myself?

The Buccaneers should just throw out the tape from their blowout loss to the Saints

The Bucks have laid in all-time stinker... it is an atrocious game which we can pretty much recap right now. Is it better that the Bucks lost so bad that they can just throw this one out? You throw the tape out... Bruce Arians is not going to take this game seriously, like he is going to hit the delete button on it.

I wouldn't give Russell Wilson an MVP vote right now because Patrick Mahomes is better

Russell Wilson is not the MVP. Patrick Mahomes is starting to play incredible football. He's like so Patrick Mahomes is 25 touchdowns one interception... if I had to do the MVP voting right this second, I wouldn't give Russell Wilson an MVP vote.

If you take Russell Wilson off the Seahawks, they would be the West Coast Dallas Cowboys

I think you can make the argument that because his defense is so bad that that is actually saying that Russell Wilson... is the most valuable player in that if you were to take him off of his team... they would be the West Coast Dallas Cowboys, right? Except way way way worse.

The Seahawks are frauds because their defense cannot be trusted

The Seahawks who I think they're frauds. I think they are... they definitely are the biggest frauds. Your defense just can't can't be trusted whatsoever and I again I still think there are... they're not going to figure it out.

The Bears will not make the playoffs this year

In the last 10 years, there's been five teams and started five in one and not made the playoffs. I don't think the Bears going to make the playoffs this year. Let's be honest.

Matt Nagy has lost the locker room

I'm so sick of Matt Nagy. I'm so sick of the visor. I'm so sick of his fucking bald ass head... I think Matt Nagy has lost locker room. No you have, no, I think he has because when you whenever you have a situation where it's like one side of the ball is so much better than the other the defense is just like sitting in the locker room knowing... where these clowns doing?

The Chiefs are by far the best team in the NFL

The Chiefs are definitely by far the best team in the NFL and then... they can literally do everything. I don't know like yes, this game was close... but winning these games. I'm never gonna be like, oh man, the chief should have blown them out.

Dalvin Cook is the answer to the 'don't pay running backs' argument

The Dalvin cook Dalvin cook should be the he will be the response to everyone being like don't pay running backs. Everyone will now start saying but Dalvin cook because he does make that much of a difference for Vikings... he is now the answer. He's the poster boy for yes. You should pay him and keep touching the electric fence.