A punter should be able to play with a broken wrist

I think that if you're a punter with a broken wrist and I want to be the heart of football guy... you should be able to punt with a broken wrist. If you're a punter, that's the one thing in your life that you should be able to still do with a broken wrist.

Philip Rivers is afraid of contact and can't throw deep anymore

Phil Rivers is at this point of his career that he can't throw it deep and he also can't take the physical contact of a QB sneak up the middle on a short yardage situation. It's beautiful. It's been like that for seven years. He's attempted one QB sneak in the last seven years. He just doesn't do it. He hates contact. He hates hitting that a-hole.

The Masters greens are so soft it looks like golfers are hitting shots into a memory foam mattress

The greens are soft. These are remarkably soft. They look like they're hitting shots into a memory foam mattress. Yes, like hitting and kind of sinking a little bit maybe rolling an inch or two.

The Masters looks better in November than in April

I think that the Masters looks better in November. I think that the course—I think that it's better as a November tournament than it has ever won... it gives the pine trees more of a shine that often gets overlooked when everyone's talking about the azaleas.

I'm hammering the Giants +3.5 against the Eagles

I don't understand why the Giants are three and a half point underdogs when it feels like the Giants play every game to a point... I'm taking the Giants. I'm hammering the Giants.

Wyatt Teller is the most important lineman for the Browns

Wyatt Teller might be back... The Browns in the four games before Wyatt Teller got hurt: 204 yards per game rushing. In the three games since he got hurt: 86 yards per game. That guy's important. I always like finding out like one of the lineman is important because you feel like you have an edge that usually doesn't actually matter.

Tom Brady has 'sundowning' dementia and can't play well at night

Is there a chance Tom Brady just too old to play at night? ...another telltale sign of dementia is called sundowning where the closer that it gets to dusk the lower capacity our brain functions at... I do believe that Tom Brady battling through his dementia is better in the one o'clock time slot.

Kliff Kingsbury is an airhead and a bimbo, not a genius

I don't think the Kliff Kingsbury is an offensive genius. No, I think he's a dummy. I think he's a fucking airhead. He's a bimbo. He's a member... he's all looks.

Patrick Mahomes is the MVP of the season

The Chiefs have the defending champs and they have to me the MVP of the season now is my prediction going in and just so you know, I'm not the only one they're saying that you know about that Mahomes.

I have to get my hair cut every 10 days because it grows back in weird spots

I need to get my hair cut every 10 days... it cannot be buzzed because if it gets buzzed it grows back weird. Truly what I do have grows all the time to the point where I need to get my hair cut every 10 days... if not, it just grows in very difficult spots.

Scott Hanson is a superior RedZone host to Andrew Siciliano

Who do I have to tell go Siciliano? Oh my gosh... I'm taking PFT's gun and shooting Siciliano... why is that? [Scott] Hanson is far superior. He's an animal. He is outstanding what he does.

HP has the worst customer service in the human race

I prepared on my Twitter account this morning thing that says about HP the worst cutting height I put him in quotations—customer service the worst in the human race. Whoa. And I could hurt so many people.