Takes

The Dolphins are going to the playoffs

The Dolphins are going to the playoffs. The Dolphins are going to the playoffs. The Dolphins are a good team. They are a good football team... I have the Dolphins going 10 and six... they have graduated from feisty to just a good football team.

Kliff Kingsbury coached chickenshit football by kicking a late field goal against Miami

Coach of the Year Kliff Kingsbury. What the fuck are you doing? What is Kliff Kingsbury doing that was chickenshit football... He kicks the field goal to try to tie the game and give the ball back to Tua who then could easily go back down the field and win the game... I don't know why the fuck he did that that was chickenshit football.

The Chargers will never win a close game; it's the arrow paradox

I don't understand it how they can do this every single week... It's the arrow Paradox... like an arrow will never get totally from me to you if I shot you with an arrow because it would have to travel half the distance to you... that's how the Chargers keep getting closer and closer to winning a close game and they never they're just never going to win a close game.

Aaron Rodgers intentionally blocked Jordan Love from getting reps in the 49ers game

The Aaron Rodgers did need this would have been the perfect time for Jordan Love to get out there get some reps in my conspiracy theorist tinfoil hat says Aaron Rodgers put the kibosh on that.

Aaron Rodgers has a baby face and is going through a mental breakdown similar to Britney Spears shaving her head

Rogers he he also shaved. I don't know if you noticed that he's like a little baby face out there... it's like when Britney Spears shaved her head when she was having a nervous breakdown some people do that. They just have know what I'm going to cut my bangs... Rogers going through a mental crisis right now.

George Kittle will return from his foot injury and be catching touchdowns by Thanksgiving

I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe me two weeks Max. I think I think he's [George Kittle] gonna be catching touchdowns on the weekend of Thanksgiving. Yes, absolutely.

Keeping Adam Gase is the smartest move for the Jets because he is a 'tank' that can't be accused of tanking

Keeping Adam Gase is the smartest thing you can do is GM because... it actually Adam Gase is your tank like he is your tank but not tanking. You can't be accused of tanking, but you are tanking when you have Adam Gase there.

The Seahawks defense will start turning a corner and stop being a liability within five weeks

Jamal Adams is going to be back. I think that the Seahawks defense is going to start turning a corner here playing well and it's going to take a little bit of time for people to catch up to it. But like in like three four weeks we're going to be sitting here being like, you know, who's really playing well to Seahawks defense.

Ryan Tannehill is a great quarterback, but he still actually stinks

Ryan Tannehill still stinks. I don't have anything beyond my eyes that told me that he still deserves not to be honest my guts right. It's my guts that are telling me that he still stinks. I just I still don't trust him. I've never trusted Ryan Tannehill... he is just been delaying the stinking.

The 'Christian Doctrine': NFL teams are actually harder to stop when their star player is out because of unpredictability

When a good player goes out or is traded the team does better I think we called the Christian doctrine... when a defense plans and you know Christian McCaffrey out there, you know, he's going to touch the ball like half the time when he's not you don't know where the balls going.

Daniel Jones is JaMarcus Russell 2.0 because of his turnover rate

Daniel Jones and JaMarcus Russell had the same player in terms of turnovers... I will bring you know what I want. I will bring that exact same energy starting this weekend Daniel Jones. I'm going to run with that but is he is JaMarcus Russell 2.0.

Antonio Brown joining the Buccaneers will not end well because he is a 'legit psycho'

I'm calling my shot on this Antonio Brown is a legit psycho. You're hot right now because essentially your shots are... it's not going to end well now it's just not. I'm calling my shot on this Antonio Brown is a legit psycho... Big big-time bad news.

The Buccaneers are still top-tier contenders because they can win with their C-game

I'm not going to like ding [the Bucs] for that because... you didn't get a A+ effort from the box and they still won with their C game, which actually is a better sign for... it's like very good. It was a trap game.

The Saints could destroy the NFL's monopoly by suing over salary cap interference

If the Saints sue the NFL being like, 'Hey, you're interfering with the free market. We should be able to pay people whatever we want.' Then that case goes to like the Supreme Court. NFL loses its monopoly. The Saints could blow up the NFL if they want.

The Cowboys' defense plays better when they have a backup quarterback like Ben DiNucci

It turns out that in a weird way is kind of good having a shitty quarterback playing because your defense gets this mindset of like we have to create turnovers, we have to stop everybody. Whereas before they're like, oh we got Dak, he's gonna throw for a million yards, I can take a couple plays off here.

I'm 90% sure the Cleveland Browns are going to make the playoffs

I'm pretty sure in part that the Cleveland Browns are going to make the playoffs. Yeah. No, I agree. I'm like, 90% sure that the Browns are going to be a playoff team this year and that's going to be a lot of fun.

The Tennessee Titans are a fraudulent football team

I'm going to use the F-word on the Titans. I think the Titans where a fraudulent football... I think they're fun when they were five and oh I was saying I don't think they're real because Ryan Tannehill, we should always stick with our gut on Ryan Tannehill.

The Patriots vs. Bills game was one of the best games Bill Belichick has ever coached

That's actually here's ready for this one. That's one of the best games Bill Belichick's ever coached you like that was a wonderful game... because their roster sucks so bad and the fact that they were within three points.

The Green Bay Packers have a soft defense

Aaron Rodgers playing great this year but similar to last year would you say the Packers might be a little a tad bit soft and say their defense might be a little soft... They are one of the last are going to just destroy some hearts they because they will get they're going to end up with a record like 12 and 4. Hmm. And Aaron Rodgers is going to be cooking at the end of the season. He's going to win a playoff game and he is going to break everybody's heart.

The Baltimore Ravens are frauds because Lamar Jackson can't throw consistently against elite teams

As I've thought from day one when I've started the Ravens are frauds and again, it's not that they're bad team. There are very very good team when I say the word fraud I'm doing it because because they have Championship aspirations... until I see it from Lamar Jackson in terms of passing the ball consistently... the NFL like to be in Upper Echelon team, you have to your quarterback has to be able to throw have that type of game.

The Dolphins went to Tua Tagovailoa too early

I think that Fitzpatrick should be starting right now. I think they went to Tua too early. Not because now he played like I could give a shit how to play today. He didn't get hurt, which is great... I still think that Fitzpatrick like if you're actually going to be maybe a playoff team why not just stick with Fitzpatrick and see where this goes because every he gives you I think a better chance to win most games.

Matt Nagy has an extremely low football IQ

I feel bad for Matt Nagy because in his head he was doing something insanely smart... So that is something that a smart person would do. So his idea of what a smart person is is so far from actually being what a smart person really is. That I don't think it's his fault. I think he's I think he's just got extremely low IQ.

The Ravens are not a team that can throw the ball when expected to

These guys are not a one-dimensional team that can throw the ball when expected. They're not like that. The only way they're have success throwing the ball is the objective of run... and they didn't have that today.

I would take Derek Carr over Justin Herbert or Drew Lock right now

Between those three quarterbacks... Derek Carr, Herbert and then Drew Lock. I'll take Carr because I know what I'm gonna get. I don't know what those other guys gonna do. I'll take Carr.

The Falcons won't blow any more games because the internet has figured out the joke

I have a theory PFT as soon as the internet catches on to something that's when it's done. And if you watch the timeline and everyone talking in the fourth quarter, like, how are the Falcons going to blow this, right? Falcons aren't going to blow any more games now Falcons might even go on a run because as soon as everyone starts figuring it out and making the same joke.

Chasing gambling news regarding COVID-19 absences never works out

I feel like it never works out if you immediately bet Boston College for Saturday Clemson's not going to win. Like 55 instead of 45 and so like it will just blow up in your face. I just chasing it just never works. For some reason. You just can't like whenever you think you got to beat on it. You just don't

The Browns are a better team without Odell Beckham Jr.

We are right in the middle of the takes of the Browns better without Odell Beckham. I don't even know if it's not any I think that they kind of are... Baker is a better quarterback without Odell Beckham. Yes. Yes. They try to force the ball to O'Dell and now Baker doesn't have to worry about that and he can spread the ball around.

Take the Vikings to cover because the Packers are 0-6 straight up on Daylight Savings weekends

The Packers have lost the six six times in a row on daylight savings we can... I think I won six straight out. I thought it was against the spread. I don't know. What is it Jake find it whatever it is. I'm fall forward happened... you probably going to want to take that stat into your real to your play Barstool app picks.

The Rams are winning the Super Bowl

the biggest winning Super Bowl the revs winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, I want on the record. Really. Yeah. Wow, but you don't like golf. I love Jared go. You said you hated to no one of my best friends in this world... Jared has the experience. Aryans he's been there before this time. He's gonna get revenge.

The Seahawks defense is soft

I'm going to say that I think that the the Seahawks defense I'm going to use the S word. I think they're soft. I'll link their sauce sauce. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry, you know, what's terrible, you know, I'm doing right now. I'm giving side I to I'm throwing shade. Yeah all the s words for Seattle's defense know they're really I think that the Niners come out and just absolutely take their soul from them.

Joe Burrow will be a championship quarterback in the NFL

Joe's gonna get a Supporting Cast will be a championship quarterback. No doubt. Yeah, you know the harder you hit Joe Duffy gets yeah, you know, you know, he's taking some hits for us and that Fiesta Bowl he took you know, I don't know if you'll get out of going for miles to come in he goes, he's one more unexpected of word know about you know, yeah. He just started on that ignites it

Gardner Minshew intentionally injured his own hand to get a medical redshirt year

Do we think the Gardner Minshew maybe smash his own hand like he told us absolutely so that isn't the played for the Jaguars anymore. Absolutely... he on our show told us the story about how he smashed his own hand with it with the hammer after getting really really drunk so that he could what was it so we could read surely you want. Yeah. I wanted to the medical register. Maybe he's been seeking Redshirt this season possibly

Patrick Mahomes would have been a bust if he were drafted by the Chicago Bears

This is why I've always said when everyone's like well, we could have Patrick Mahomes. Patrick Mahomes would have got hit by a bus if he had been a Chicago Bear. There is just it's never going to be in the cards for the Bears to be able to move the football.

The Bears might get lucky and beat the Saints on Sunday

I'm still not gonna apologize for five and two... I'm running the luck train. The Bears are they have one very lucky games this year. They're not a very good team. But sometimes the NFL you'll just get the lucky bounce and just ride it. So I'm not going to apologize for five and two and I think they might even beat the Saints on Sunday.

The Rams play 'Mickey Mouse' football with their excessive pre-snap motion

I agree with with your take that they're playing too fast. That's gonna be Mouse football when man on Sean McVeigh gets in his Huddle's and then he has his players like shift around like it's a game of three-card Monte at a carnival just to confuse defense... not some rinky-dink Mickey Mouse Disneyland offense where you try to score more points than the other team like a fucking coward.

Jerry Jones should treat Mike Nolan like he's in prison until the Cowboys' defense improves

If you're a good owner and you've got someone as shitty as Mike Nolan that's still employed, he shouldn't be allowed to season his food or have any flavor. You need to treat him like he's in prison... until he either quits on his own or decides that he's going to get better and be accountable and start to make improvements. You take away all salt, pepper. He should not be eating hot food or spicy food at all.

It is incorrect to claim that shaming the Cowboys for not defending Andy Dalton is 'toxic masculinity'

There was a guy from Pro Football Focus who said that in my humble opinion attacking the Cowboys for not going after [Jon] Bostic who by any means wasn't a threat to Dalton anymore is toxic masculinity at its peak... meanwhile every person that's ever played football has responded and been like this is this is incorrect.

Dak Prescott's leverage increases every time the Cowboys lose a game without him

Jerry every time you try somebody else out there, he's making me money. This is Dak sitting back at the table like let my leg get healed up, you give me my money... Watching the team go without him, his head has calmed down. He's saying right now, 'Yeah, my money. I'll be there.'

DK Metcalf is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass

DK Metcalf is the fastest human being alive. Like I—he's very fast but he's not faster than Usain Bolt, but I think he might be... [Metcalf] is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass.

The Lions will be 5-5 going into their Thanksgiving game against the Texans

Remember what I said on Friday... the little baby run. Their schedule opens up... Colts at Vikings, Washington football team at Carolina at Houston. I think I said they're going to be five and five going into the Texans... on Thanksgiving.

The Titans are a tier below the Chiefs, Ravens, and Steelers

I still don't think the Titans are like top top level AFC. This is not—if we're putting it into two tiers, I'm not saying the Titans are bad. I'm saying there's a tier of Chiefs, Ravens, Steelers, and I think there's a step down to the Titans.

Michael Thomas is on the trading block and will likely be traded

Michael Thomas, one of the best Twitter names out there... but yes he is—he's a big reason why the offense hasn't looked awesome... I think he's probably on the trading block. Methinks the lady doth protest too much [regarding Sean Payton's denial].

Joe Brady will definitely get an NFL head coaching job after this season

Joe Brady is by—is like number one on the boy genius next boy genius list... absolutely going to happen. He is definitely going to be a feature about Joe Brady revolutionizing football.

Cam Newton's struggles are a side effect of 'foggy brain' from COVID-19

One of the side effects of Corona is having, you know, foggy brain. He's got the long 'Rona. He's got the long cocoa Big Cat... he's look where he's been throwing weird when he throws, it just doesn't look—it looks strange.

The Patriots will win three of their next four games and make the playoffs

We need to win two out of the next four games and you have the Bills, the Jets, the Ravens, and the Texans. You can do that. Yeah, three out of four of them, we're back in the playoffs. I'm feeling great.

The Buccaneers might blow up quickly because of the Antonio Brown signing

I am a little bit concerned about the Bucks after this because of Antonio Brown. I think Antonio Brown is insane... I think the Bucks might—things might get blown up real fast.

The Patriots and Cowboys both need immediate players-only meetings

The Cowboys did that [players only meeting] last week, they should have broke the glass because it is a case of emergency, and the Patriots should be doing it Monday morning. They should be doing it tomorrow because somebody needs to stand up and talk and take control.

The NFC East will win a playoff game this year

I guarantee I'm here's my stamp. The NFC East I think is going to win a playoff game this year. There's going to be some shitty team that fucks it all up stumbles into the playoffs... and they're going to win by like one score maybe like three points in that early Saturday time slot.

The Lions are about to go on an itty-bitty baby run

I'm calling it right now lines about to go on a teeny little bit of itty-bitty little baby run. I little baby run... I'm going to say the lions are going to be 6 & 5. They're going to be one of the two are the lines going to be in the hunt?

The Chicago Bears can win the NFC North

I am all-in on Graham Mertz and in conjunction with thinking that Wisconsin is going to win the Big Ten West... I made a prediction today the totally won't blow up in my face. And that is that the Chicago Bears can win the NFC North they can.