Takes

The Lions are the worst franchise in the NFL

The Lions are the worst franchise in the NFL. And I feel really bad for Lions fans, even though I root for a team in their division... They have one single playoff win in the Super Bowl era.

Aaron Rodgers sucks now

I think Aaron Rodgers sucks. I think Aaron Rodgers sucks now. Aaron Rodgers looks like... a shell of himself... By Aaron Rodgers saying we're going to win ugly, he's getting out in front of the story so no one is drawing attention to the fact that he sucks now.

The Chiefs are the forgotten team in the AFC and will be dangerous in January

It does feel like the Chiefs are kind of the forgotten team in the AFC... This is the team that I feel like we're going to get to January. I'm like, oh, yeah, remember the Chiefs?

Eli Manning should retire now after his win against the Dolphins

I don't think he should play next week or the week after. He should go out like this. He won. It felt good.

Saquon Barkley misses out on easy yards because he tries to hit home runs

Sometimes he just doesn't get the easy yards. He's one of those guys. He tries to hit a home run every time. He tries to juke everyone out, like, just go forward, dude.

Urban Meyer would be a bad NFL head coach

Urban Meyer in the NFL makes no sense to me... He would be bad. He would die... Urban Meyer would be Saban in the NFL. No different.

Miles Sanders is the Eagles' best skill player on offense

Miles Sanders is that guy now. He's their best player on offense... besides probably Zach Ertz.

The Browns should trade Odell Beckham for offensive line help

I don't know what Odell Beckham's contract is, but they have to move on from that... If you could trade Odell Beckham for pieces that would make your line better, you'd have to do it.

I am hoping to run a 4.6 40-yard dash

I'm hoping to hit 4-6. That would be blazing for me.

Lamar Jackson is officially the MVP

Lamar Jackson passes Michael Vick in rushing for season for quarterback. He is the MVP. It would take basically Russell Wilson, like Russell Wilson probably gonna throw seven touchdowns every single game for last three games to surpass them.

Lamar Jackson is a lock for the Madden cover

There has never been a bigger guarantee in the entire world of sports: the Lamar Jackson cover of Madden.

Lamar Jackson should sit out for three years to get a big contract

Should Lamar Jackson sit out the next three years of his career so he can get that big contract? No, we're going to NCAA if we're gonna bowl gamify. That's also NBA-ify three seasons of the NFL's Anthony Davis being like 'I want to be traded now' even though I still have [time] playing under contract.

Kirk Cousins cannot win games in California

Cousins can't play on the Left Coast though. He is something like 0-8 in California.

Ryan Tannehill is peaking and will never play better than he is right now

We're in the process of watching Ryan Tannehill as good as he's probably ever as good as his body is capable of playing football. That's how he's playing. The best will ever get it's probably not going to get any better than this.

The Cowboys are the new Falcons: high talent, low results

I finally realized what the Cowboys are: the Cowboys are the new Falcons. They are a team with a ton of talent that we say 'well, they haven't played their best game, it's coming.' You can name all these guys on the team... They're just not good. They're average to below average throughout the season.

Jameis Winston's stats are only better than Peyton Manning's because of the era

This is how the new-age NFL [is]. This is why the Jameis Winston/Peyton Manning stats are ridiculous when you actually adjust them for era. It's like, yeah, of course Jameis Winston has these numbers that are better than Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning still played partially in the old NFL.

The Giants have to play Eli Manning again to let him get back to a .500 record

Now what sucks is now Eli's 116 and 117. You've got to play him again, though. You have to play him again. You've got to give him a shot to get back to 117, 117.

I would still bet on the Eagles to win the NFC East despite how bad they look

I still would probably take [the Eagles] to win the division, because they have a home game against the Cowboys, and they play the Redskins and they play the Giants. But if you had to ask me right now to put money on it, I think I'd still take the Eagles as bad as they've looked.

Division winners should keep their home playoff games regardless of record

I like the fact that the Eagles could win the division at 7-9 and host a playoff game simply because we get to sit here and say, that's not fair. I like that if you win your division, you get a home playoff game, even if you're a terrible team. It just seems like one of those rules I don't want changed.

Bill Belichick intentionally created the Bengals filming controversy as a rallying cry

[Bill Belichick] thinks that this was specifically ordered by Bill Belichick to have it become a controversy so that he can then reverse it and use it as a rallying cry to fix the Patriots' problems. he thinks this was specifically ordered by Bill Belichick to have it become a controversy so that he can then reverse it and use it as a rallying cry to fix the Patriots' problems.

Sean Payton's butcher should stick to groceries and stay out of football coaching

Sean Payton went to the grocery store and his butcher was giving him shit about going for two in the game. Sean Payton was like, I told my butcher, you worry about running out of meat, I'll worry about coaching the football team. The butcher obviously doesn't understand math. He doesn't know that if you go for two the first time, you actually increase your chances of winning.

Brandon Cooks is the definition of elite foot speed

I think it's probably Brandon Cooks, a receiver we have out here in L.A., and I actually trained with him for the combine. I thought he was fast then, but he's on a whole other level of fast and the definition of foot speed, extremely quick.

I am faster now than I was when I trained for the NFL Combine

I'd imagine everybody's probably different. I think I'm faster now than I was when I was training for the Combine. But I would say there's probably guys that are the opposite of that.

The Bears will win out and the Vikings will lose out

The Bears gonna win out and the Vikings are going to start losing out. So I'm not worried about the Rams as much as a Viking just falling flat on their face.

Freddie Kitchens should be fired even after a win

Freddie kitchens should be fired even in a win. Freddie kitchens is passing like he can't even pass the simplest of tests and the simple test that I am talking about is the Bengals have the worst run defense in the entire league and Freddie kitchens ran the ball six times in the first half... He is a dump you... He's a dummy.

It is impossible to tank in the NFL

I think it's impossible to tank in the NFL. I really do because it's just a sport that's impossible to think like guys are playing for their next jobs. It's a violent game. It's hard to tell people. Hey go out there and just don't try right?

The Packers are a little bit fraudulent

I feel I feel like the Packers are a little bit fraudulent. Oh, welcome to yes the right side of History SHINee. It took only beating the Redskins by five points for me to realize that. Hey, maybe they're not that great of a football team this year.

Jameis Winston is the Big Ben heir apparent

I think Jameis Winston Is Our Big Ben Heir Apparent... off sketchy off-field stuff. They have the classic like they're never fully down on the on the field... There's so many plays were Jameis Winston has six guys around him and then he just kind of emerges from it... he is the funniest quarterback of ever want.

Drew Lock is good because he is consistently lucky

I called Drew lock being good and he is good make no mistake... he's consistently lucky and all the ways that you see... You can tell when a quarterback is really good is when they're consistently lucky at everything that they do.

The Jaguars have 100% quit

The Jaguars have quit fully hundred percent quit because you can tell when a team quits when they just give up so many running like big run plays and and screens... That's acquiescence in the quit.

The Titans will win the AFC South if they beat the Texans next week

I think if they beat the Texans on Sunday... they're going to win the AFC South. Okay, if they win this game... because the Titans have the distinct feel of a team that fully believes they're not only good but maybe even better than they are.

Mitch Trubisky plays completely differently when he has confidence

I'm going to say about here and now when [Trubisky]'s playing with confidence, different guy. Even his interception was good because he pinned them at the one. His confidence, his decision-making, Matt Nagy's play-calling has been phenomenal in the last two games.

The Bears now have a 75% chance of making the playoffs

I must say the Bears now have a 75% chance of making the playoffs.

Lamar Jackson will be the NFL MVP and Joe Burrow will win the Heisman

Lamar Jackson is probably going to be the MVP right? Joe Burrow is likely going to be the Heisman. This I think will be the first year that the Heisman winner would be older than the NFL MVP.

Jerry Jones will not fire Jason Garrett this season because they are in first place

He's not going to fire Jason Garrett this season... because they're still in first place and still control their own destiny, you can't fire him.

The Rams will beat the Seahawks because Sean McVay owns Pete Carroll's defense

Here's Sean McVay's offenses against the Seahawks the last four times: 29 points, 33 points, 36 points, 42 points. The Rams for whatever reason it is can figure out how to attack Pete Carroll's defense... I'll take the Rams.

The Buccaneers will finish 8-8 and franchise tag Jameis Winston

My favorites the Bucks. I think the Bucks are going to finish 8-8 I do. I think Jameis is going to get franchise tagged. I do, I hope so I really do.

Eli Manning is the Forrest Gump of the NFL

Eli Manning is now more than ever the Forrest Gump of the NFL. He just keeps showing up at historical moments.

No one actually underrates Russell Wilson except maybe 49ers fans

I think that no one really to this day underrates Russell Wilson with the possible exception of maybe... San Francisco 49ers fans. That's probably the only fan base that won't give Russell Wilson credit because with the exception of that one play in the Super Bowl, he's had an exceptional career.

Russell Wilson is naturally corny, which makes his mic'd up segments awkward

For Russell Wilson, it's extra weird because I think that is his real conversation. I don't think they left anything on the cutting room floor. Like when Russell Wilson is mic'd up the editor who approves everything, he takes a night off... whatever he says it's going to be corny and it's going to work.

Firing Ron Rivera in early December is actually a favor to him

Brutal to do it. And I know is—I just want to get this out. It's kind of sad. I disagree. I think this is a great time to get fired. If you're a head coach, you still have maybe one or two weekends of golfing weather down in North Carolina. You get a head start on the job market. Ron Rivera is not going to stay unemployed for long.

The Chicago Bears are definitely going to make the playoffs

The Bears are going to make the playoffs. So Thursday night tune in. If the Bears lose, devastation... my team is still alive, just say fuck it and let's just hope that the best thing possible happens because then at least you get to watch games that feel meaningful. I've convinced myself fully.

Jerry Jones keeps Jason Garrett around just so he has someone to lie about firing on the radio

Jerry Jones keeps him... because he loves going on the air and and lying that he will fire his coach... The more you keep people distracted from the real issues, probably the better overall you are if you have just a lot of skeletons in the closet.

The decline in high school bullying is making kickers mentally weak

I actually think that the decline in bullying is making high school kickers more mentally weak... They're not able to be bullied at a young age. Nature would say if you're a kicker, you should get bullied a little bit in high school. You should start to weather that storm that way when you get to the NFL where you're getting death threats by strangers online, it's not affecting you as much because you got shoved in a locker when you were in ninth grade.

NFL kicking will improve in 10 years because kids are giving up on American soccer

In 10 years kicking will be back because they all be like 'we suck at soccer, I'm not playing soccer anymore.' The giving up of soccer... any kid with a giant leg right now is 'fuck this, get this futebol shit off my television.'

The Ravens will be the AFC's number one seed and the Super Bowl will go through Baltimore.

But as of right now, if the playoffs started today, the Ravens would be the one seed and the Super Bowl would go through Baltimore.

Tom Brady looked 'dead' and scared against the Texans.

Tom Brady looked kind of dead tonight. He looked like he was the one seeing ghosts. He was very scared of the Texans' SWAT team linebackers.

The Jets losing to the winless Bengals is a classic 'so Jets' moment.

That was so Jets. That was so, so Jets. ... to have a quarterback who seems like the guy say, we're going to run the table... then go to Cincinnati, an 0-11 team, and score six points and just piss down their leg. I'm sorry, Jets fans. That is so Jets.

Derrick Henry has officially entered the conversation as one of the NFL's top running backs.

This is now a Derrick Henry appreciation podcast. ... Essentially, we get to November and December and people are like, I don't want to tackle that guy anymore. He had 149 yards today, and then in his last 16 games... 1,700 yards, 18 rushing touchdowns. Doesn't get talked about as one of the top backs, but he's up there now.

The Tennessee Titans are capable of winning a playoff game.

I think the Titans might win a playoff game. They're real motherfuckers to play against. They are.