Takes

Liking chick flicks from the 2000s is inherently wrong for men

Liking chick flicks is wrong. They're gay. Yeah.

Jersey Shore is the most iconic reality TV show ever

If the debate is Jersey Shore versus Vanderpump Rules... Jersey Shore was like guys and girls liked Jersey Shore parties. There is no Vanderpump without Jersey Shore.

Madden 2004 was the best video game of all time

But Madden 2004 was probably the best video game of all time.

Mrs. McNabb is the greatest Campbell's Chunky Soup mom of all time.

Who was the best Campbell's Chunky Soup Mom? Mrs. McNabb or Mrs. Davis? Oh, I think it's Mrs. McNabb all the way. I don't even know... it's gotta be Mrs. McNabb. The great part about Mrs. McNabb was that when she was doing the commercials, that was like right when all the drama with [Donovan] McNabb and T.O. was going down.

Rachel McAdams is the number one wifey material

I think that's the meanest thing you can say to a girl because Rachel McAdams is like the number one wifey material. Like she is. Like you'd rather your boyfriend say like your friend looks like a porn star or like some crazy model or something like that. But Rachel McAdams like in Wedding Crashers. Oof, Marron.

Most men who appear on The Bachelorette are 'betas'

And most of those dudes [on The Bachelorette] are betas... I tell everybody, if I was on that season, I would have liked Chad... The things that he was saying was pretty true.

Old Coldplay is great, but new Coldplay sucks

Old Coldplay, not new Coldplay. New Coldplay sucks. Old Coldplay fucking [is great].

Rihanna's weight is the business of sports bloggers because she is part of their 'ecosystem' of content

Nowadays, the new hunting for guys is sitting behind computers and blogging about stuff... If you want us to take Rihanna's picture out of the ecosystem that's basically like committing a mass extinction on all the buffalo in the plains. Now we can't go out there and provide for our families. I think the real story here is about the plight of the sports bloggers.