PMT DB
PMT DB
Brian Harman on the Claret Jug, NFL Coach Draft, and Mount Rushmore
July 26th has finally arrived, which means the calendar alert Jake set six months ago finally went off. It’s time for the long-awaited NFL Head Coach Draft. The stakes were high, the tiers were proprietary, and Hank’s digestive system was failing him in real-time. Big Cat, PFT, Hank, and Jake went around the horn to build their coaching staffs for the upcoming season, leading to some heated debates about whether certain coaches are geniuses or just lucky enough to have elite quarterbacks.
Jake kicked things off with a pick that felt like a personal attack on Hank, snagging the greatest of all time right out from under him.
Jake MarshBill Belichick is the best head coach in the NFL to lead a team right now
Bill Belichick [is the first pick]. I was taking it no matter what Hank said. I'm a neutral journalist, [picking] the best of the 32.
Big Cat went with Sean McVay, defending the Rams' recent struggles as a byproduct of their aggressive Super Bowl window rather than a drop in coaching quality.
Big CatSean McVay is a top-three coach who only struggled recently because the Rams went all in
If you told every team in the NFL, you can get Sean McVay your head coach next year. There's like, I think there's only two teams that wouldn't take him. He is that good. I feel like they're gonna be slept on this year just 'cause of how bad they were last year... they were going all in and trading all their future picks. And then we're like, why do the Rams suck now? Well, because they gave us no opportunity for a window of discussion.
PFT stayed in the top tier by grabbing John Harbaugh, citing his ability to reinvent his scheme as his greatest asset.
PFT CommenterJohn Harbaugh is a top-tier coach who would improve almost every team in the NFL immediately
John Harbaugh could step into any situation in the league except for maybe three and improve it. He's got a track record now... he's reinvented himself a couple times. And now he's really good at going with what his best players do best.
As the draft moved into the middle rounds, Jake started looking at the AFC West and the potential for a massive turnaround in Denver.
Jake MarshSean Payton will turn the Broncos into contenders in the AFC this season
I'm taking Sean Payton. I think [the Broncos] were the laughing stock at the league last year. And now I think bringing him in, no one's really gonna talk about how bad they are. Instead they're gonna talk about, Ooh, him with Russell Wilson. They can be a contender in the AFC again.
This immediately sparked a discussion about Russell Wilson’s outlook, with PFT leaning fully into the comeback narrative.
PFT CommenterRussell Wilson will win the NFL MVP award this season
Russell Wilson [will be] MVP or Comeback Player of the year. MVP.
Jake also planted his flag in Jacksonville, calling for another leap from the Jaguars after their surprising playoff run last year.
Jake MarshThe Jaguars are a sexy pick to win the AFC South and challenge the conference elite
Doug Peterson [is my pick]. I think he did a tremendous job in year one with the Jaguars. And I think they're gonna be a very sexy pick to maybe make some noise in the AFC. I think outside of the big three—the Bills, Chiefs, and Bengals—I think they're gonna be knocking out that door.
Not to be outdone in the hot take department, Hank claimed that the Dolphins' wunderkind is actually the best prospect in the league for a building franchise.
HankMike McDaniel is the best up-and-coming coach in the league over Kyle Shanahan
Mike McDaniel's probably the best up and coming coach in the league. Like if you're in a futures franchise draft, Mike McDaniel's probably going first [over Kyle Shanahan].
Big Cat eventually rounded out his staff with Dan Campbell, arguing that the Lions' recent trajectory is more impressive than it looks on paper.
Big CatGetting the Lions to the precipice of the playoffs is equivalent to an NFC Championship for any other team
I'll take Dan Campbell. I think that coaching the lions is, everything's on a curve. So if you get the lions on the precipice of, of the playoffs, that's essentially like the NFC Championship game.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and the Ghost of Leroy
Hot Seat/Cool Throne got personal when Hank was finally let off the leash. He went directly after PFT for the "reporting" done by Leroy’s Ghost regarding Jalen Brown’s contract. Hank was triggered by the fake rumors, while PFT defended his dead dog's honor, claiming there was simply a "material change" in the situation. Speaking of contracts, the guys touched on Saquon Barkley taking a deal to return to the Giants, which PFT viewed as a betrayal of the running back Zoom call movement.
PFT CommenterSaquon Barkley is a scab for accepting a deal and undermining the running back market
Is Saquon Barkley a scab? It seems like he went back. He went to the Zoom call and he said, 'this sucks.' And then they were like, 'how about less than a three-bedroom house?' and he's like, 'sure.' And then Saquon Barkley unemphasized from the group chat. That's my price to turn my back on the entire position.
Champion Golfer of the Year Brian Harman
Fresh off his dominant performance at the Open Championship, Brian Harman joined the show with the Claret Jug sitting right behind him. He talked about the whirlwind 48 hours since winning, including the transition from major champion back to "full-on dad" mode at 6:30 AM. Brian leaned into the villain role he played in England, explaining that the heckling from the British fans didn't bother him because of his roots.
Brian HarmanSEC football fans are more intimidating than English golf fans
They were saying short stuff, 'you're gonna choke', 'you don't have the stones for this', 'f you'. But I'm an SEC football fan. It's like, bro, y'all are killing me. There's nothing compared to Death Valley. Go to LSU on a Saturday night. You'll hear way worse.
He also gave credit to his peers, specifically noting that Rory McIlroy’s driving ability is something he has to actively work to overcome with his short game.
Brian HarmanRory McIlroy is the most talented driver of the golf ball in history
I've always said [Rory McIlroy] is probably the, I mean, at least in our generation, He is the most talented driver of the golf ball that maybe he's ever lived. He's incredible. He really is.
As a massive Georgia Bulldogs fan, Brian discussed the current state of the program under Kirby Smart. Despite the back-to-back titles, he explained why he isn't quite ready to start talking about a dynasty just yet.
Brian HarmanReal Georgia fans are never cocky because they have too much scar tissue from past heartbreaks
I don't think any real Georgia fan feels [cocky]. I think there's enough scar tissue there where you're like, ah. They're like, when is the curtain gonna get ripped back? Like, when is the, when's your heart gonna get ripped out again?
Mount Rushmore of Girls Not to Mess With
In a follow-up to the guys version from earlier this summer, the guys tackled the Mount Rushmore of girls not to fuck with. This included the classic "girl with a cracked iPhone," Swifties, and horse girls. Billy and Jake also made sure to include the most dominant force in sports right now.
Billy FootballYou do not want to mess with the United States Women's National Soccer Team
You do not want to fuck with the United States Women's National Soccer team. They're going for three straight women's world cups right now. And you don't wanna screw with them. They're dominant.
To wrap things up, Guys on Chicks covered everything from reality TV hierarchies to the etiquette of Master’s tickets. PFT stood his ground on why certain shows just hit differently.
PFT CommenterJersey Shore is the most iconic reality TV show ever
If the debate is Jersey Shore versus Vanderpump Rules... Jersey Shore was like guys and girls liked Jersey Shore parties. There is no Vanderpump without Jersey Shore.
It doesn't matter if it's your girlfriend or your wife, if you get those tickets to Augusta, there is only one phone call you're allowed to make.
PFT CommenterThe Masters is the ultimate 'dad weekend' of all time
The Masters is the most dad weekend of all time.
Just make sure you don't blow a raspberry as a finishing move unless you're prepared for the consequences.
