J.J. Watt being healthy is the official sign that football is back

you know football is back because there's a lot of buzz about J.J. Watt not being injured... J.J. Watt being like, is this the year that J.J. Watt can stay healthy all year? That means football is officially back.

The Hall of Fame game becomes absolute dog shit after the first five minutes

I'm excited for the Hall of Fame game. My dumb brain tricks my dumb body into getting all amped up for the Hall of Fame game. And then I forget that after the first five minutes of the game, it's just absolute dog shit.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

American sports dominance is officially over

Are we as a country washed? because this also is on the heels of shams announcing SGA back to back MVP and I think it's been like nine years, I believe eight years since an American has won the NBA MVP... and Aaron Rai, it's the second European to win a major this year and Europeans are now two and oh in majors for the first time since 1934.

The Steelers will be stuck with a 7-10 win ceiling with Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Rodgers is back. I feel bad for Steelers fans... he's not the same quarterback... the Steelers just put a finite floor and ceiling on their season. Right? And it's somewhere between seven and 10 wins. That's what we're thinking.

The Chicago White Sox are no longer a joke and could win the AL Central

White Sox are good. They're actually like, this is finally like, it's kind of, they're not a joke. They've got some sluggers. Big time dude... I don't know what the price is for them winning the AL Central, but they, they, they are not a bad team.