J.J. Watt being healthy is the official sign that football is back

you know football is back because there's a lot of buzz about J.J. Watt not being injured... J.J. Watt being like, is this the year that J.J. Watt can stay healthy all year? That means football is officially back.

The Hall of Fame game becomes absolute dog shit after the first five minutes

I'm excited for the Hall of Fame game. My dumb brain tricks my dumb body into getting all amped up for the Hall of Fame game. And then I forget that after the first five minutes of the game, it's just absolute dog shit.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

The intentional-grounding penalty was the right play

I actually think he had, that's an OC problem because there was no underneath route. If he throws that deep and, like, everyone had—it just was a shit show. He couldn't throw it deep because he was basically getting chased. If he takes a sack, everyone has to come back. It probably is more than 10 seconds to get the next play. So that one, I had no problem.

The Colts needed a complete reset after Chris Ballard's firing

Chris Ballard was there for 10 years, never won an AFC South. You finally just—it's inexcusable. The Andrew Luck retirement is probably what bought Chris Ballard a lot more years. He basically could just keep on saying, 'Well, our plans were screwed up because Andrew Luck retired.'

The NBA should start on Christmas Day and play 60 games

The NBA should start on Christmas day. It should be a 60-game schedule. It'd be so much better.