Takes

Alex Honnold is a 'fucking idiot' for his free solo climbs

He's a fucking idiot. And I hated every second of it... as a person who's terrified of heights watching him get up to those bamboo rings...stood up at the top in the wind forever. Fuck this guy. I can't watch any more of it.

The NFL should implement a 'Loony Rule' requiring teams to conduct one absurd head coach interview

Instead of the Rooney Rule, we need a Loony Rule where every single team has to do one crazy out of the box interview. Have Pinto Ron come in with his ketchup and his mustard... I watch Cortez get interviewed for the head coaching job... you'll get something out of that conversation that will help you going forward.

Every NFL owner is essentially Jerry Jones, they just choose to stay quiet most of the time

That was one of my big takeaways that Terry Pegula is, or it's not even Terry Pegula specifically. I think that, I just forgot that every owner is actually Jerry Jones. They're just Jerry Jones that, that choose not to speak every week.

Sean McDermott deserves an apology for what he accomplished in Buffalo despite the leadership above him

Maybe we actually owe Sean McDermott a lot more credit. Yeah. Maybe we owe him an apology because we remember what it was like before he got there and what he was able to do with the bills. Nothing short of miraculous.

If you are a soft coach who is scared of Philadelphia fans, you shouldn't coach for the Eagles

There's guys that can coach in Philly and there's guys that can't. I like this soft. If you're not a guy that, that can't coach in Philly, don't come here. ... I don't want a soft coach that is scared of coaching Philadelphia.

The Broncos' defensive struggles against Buffalo are a bigger concern than Jarrett Stidham's ability

I'm far less concerned about Jared Stidham than I am about the way our defense played against Buffalo. Our defense got run through, I mean, and I thought we got out executed out game, planned out schemed as a defense.

Sam Darnold is playing with incredible maturity and focusing on wins over stats

I watched him throw the ball away. Here is a guy that has grown in maturity, that has used all that kind of pain and frustration... to his advantage. He's not worried about putting up stats, he's worried about wins. And he is looking at it from a standpoint, the only way my team that's playing so well right now loses is if I screw it up.

Nick Saban intentionally held back Curt Cignetti to protect his own coaching legacy

Did Nick Saban specifically not promote Curt Cignetti? Because he is like, 'Hey, if this guy gets a head coaching job, he's going to be known as the greatest head coach of all time. Not me.'... Nick Saban's been trying to keep the world from [Cignetti] for all these years.

Winning a national championship at Indiana is worth four titles at Alabama

Winning a national championship in Indiana is like probably worth four at Alabama. Yeah. So if [Curt Cignetti] wins one more, he already has passed Nick Saban.

The Buffalo Bills head coaching vacancy is the number one open job in the NFL

Sean McDermott was fired... credit to us, we essentially said that had to happen... this now becomes, in my mind, the number one job. It's the number one job open.

Caleb Williams is significantly better than CJ Stroud

I don't think there's even, I don't think there's a debate who you'd take Caleb or CJ Stroud. It's not even close to a debate. No. And that's, Caleb wouldn't, it's crazy to be in this spot... CJ Stroud after his first year, he's completely regressed.

Aaron Rodgers is still capable of being a high-level NFL quarterback

Yeah, I mean he can still do it for sure... being around him, just seeing how he, again, how he operated, how he practiced. I mean, the guy the guy has, you know, been playing for 20 some years and still every day of practice like treating it, it's like it's a game.

The Bills must fire Sean McDermott

I think you have to move on from Sean McDermott. Yeah. I don't know. It's not that he's a bad coach. You can't keep doing the same thing every single year. You can't keep losing in the playoffs every single year this way and expect things to change.

Kyle Tucker came up small and 'sucked' in the playoffs

Kyle Tucker did have the perfect spot in game five against the Brewers and had a perfect pitch to, to, to hit an extra base hitter or a home run. And he fucking did nothing with it. Came up so small... he sucked. He was hurt, but he sucked. No, no. Don't give him, don't give him an out. Yeah, he sucked. He was a pussy about it.

Anthony Edwards is the future face of the NBA

Anthony Edwards is awesome. How, at what point is Anthony Edwards? Can we just say he's the face of the league... I mean, it was, it was, it was two future faces of this league. It was Victor, Victor Wembanyama and, and Ant going back to back.

Hiring John Harbaugh is a smart move for the Giants because they desperately need stability.

This was, I mean, this is a smart move. I I, I like this move for the Giants. It feels like they needed stability... you hiring him. You're not gonna fire him in three years, even if it takes a little bit of time to get things going.

Using hard golf clubs like blades is 'bullshit' and offers no real advantage over cavity backs.

I've always wondered that. Like why not just use the Easy Clubs? Is it, do you get that much more touch with the, with the blade... my theory has always just been that they don't do anything. That they make it harder to play golf.

The new Commanders stadium rendering is worth three wins a year alone.

This stadium, just looking at it, max, I think that this stadium is worth three wins a year. Yeah. The stadium alone.

Exposing your 'boys' to sunlight increases testosterone.

Never tried it, but there is evidence that if you get sun on your boys, that your testosterone will go up.

The Texans are the AFC version of the Seahawks

The [Texans] are essentially the AFC Seahawks, in my opinion, where their defense is elite. And you essentially have to get to the point where you're like, can you see CJ Stroud or Sam Darnold playing a clean enough game that they can get all the way to the Super Bowl?

Mike Tomlin resigning was the right move for both sides

I actually think that this was the right move by Mike Tomlin. I do believe that this was his call. The Steelers are never gonna get better to a point where they're competing for Super Bowls. I think he's a really good coach. It got stale.

The Capitals are 0-5 in shootouts because their goalies catch left-handed

We're oh-five in shootouts this year. And I'm gonna strictly say that it's only because we always shoot on southpaw goalies. We don't actually get to shoot on regular goalies for the shootouts.

The football gods cursed Mike McDaniel for not breaking the NFL single-game scoring record

Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game [against the Broncos in 2023]. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that.

Failure to win a championship is an indictment of the Buffalo Bills organization, not Josh Allen

Josh Allen's ready to go to the Super Bowl. He just needs the help that Patrick got that others in history have gotten... If Josh Allen doesn't [win], that says more about the bills, in my mind, it says more about the bills than it does Josh Allen.

Miami would win the National Championship if they simply ran the ball every single play

I think that Miami could win this game if they ran the ball every single play. Their offensive line was dominant. And even when a guy would get wrapped up for a two yard gain, then you get the five huge big giant dogs on their offensive line pushing them downhill like an avalanche. You end up with a five, six yard gain on it.

The Rams, Eagles, and Seahawks are the only three dangerous teams in the NFC

I rank them order, it would be Rams, Eagles, Seahawks. ... If you want gun to my head right now, I think there's three teams in the NFC.

Josh Allen is currently the best playoff quarterback in the AFC

Josh Allen, who is the best. I think he's the best playoff quarterback in the AFC right now. As much as people like to say that Josh Allen is a choke artist because the Bills haven't won a Super Bowl, Josh Allen is awesome in the playoffs. He is incredible. And the losses that he's had, he's been the best quarterback on the field.

Any NFL team without an innovative offensive mind from the McVay/Shanahan tree will be out of the league soon

If you don't have the innovative mind and process and play calling stacking of someone from the tree of Sean Payton, Andy Reid, Sean McVay, or Kyle Shanahan, then get out of the league. ... It's not working. And you look at what's happened in Jacksonville, Liam Cohen... he's the fruit of the tree, right? And he gets it.

Justin Herbert's throwing ability is the 'Mona Lisa' of football

If throwing a football was supposed to be artistic or beautiful, that is the Mona Lisa, this guy. He's the guy that as a fellow thrower... when I watch him throw, I'm like, oh, it gives your heart beats value. Like, oh that is beautiful.

Fasting is the worst thing ever

I realized I was such a bitch. ... Anyone who tries to tell you the fasting is the way to go. It ain't, it ain't the way to go.

Drake May's MVP case is strengthened by his lack of Pro Bowl offensive teammates

Every other MVP in the NFL history has played with another pro bowler. Okay. But he's, so if [Drake May] is able to put up those stats without another pro bowler, that makes his case that much more interesting. Zero Pro Bowl teammates on offense.

The Titans and Giants are the most coveted head coaching jobs available

I think the Titans might be as crazy as it sounds. I think I, I might agree... I would hire Stefanski tomorrow. I really would. I think that he's gonna be a very good head coach.

I would have been a top 10 draft pick if my last name was easier to pronounce

Maybe a few years younger, maybe a couple letters off the last name. It might be, might be a little bit richer. So I don't, I don't know... once you learn it, it's kinda hard to forget it.

If a college coach doesn't show significant improvement by Year 2, the hire was a failure

If your guy's not getting it done by year two, you blew the higher. That's, that's it. In this era, you blew the higher, if your guy's not good by year two... if you've got a coach te begging for patience, that's a coach who knows He's already cooked.

The Baltimore Ravens are now the best head coaching job opening in the NFL

John Harbaugh and the Ravens have parted ways... this is the number one job. By far... Like, not even close. That's like the most stable front office you can go to.

I no longer want Todd Bowles to coach the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I would like Todd Bowles no longer to coach with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers anymore. Anyone else, I'm in.

Tyler Schuck played terrible and is not a guy to get excited about

I bet Tyler Schuck, who's in the Hungry Dog. Only one that lost. I thought he played terrible. I will not be—my indoctrination is over. I'm done with Tyler Schuck.

Chris Ballard shouldn't be safe as Colts GM after 9 years without a division title

Chris Ballard has been the Colts GM for I believe nine years now. He has never won the division and it's the AFC South. And it's not like the AFC South is bad, but there have been stretches where there have been bad teams and he has not found a way to win the division.

The Giants should be ashamed of winning meaningless games to ruin their draft pick

You have to be so angry at the Giants for doing this year in year out where they fucked themselves over by winning completely meaningless games for no reason. Why did you win this game today?

Ben Johnson must be more aggressive in the playoffs for the Bears to succeed

Ben Johnson fucked up at points in this game, especially not going for it on fourth and five in the fourth quarter. Hopefully he realizes the defense that the Bears have right now, you gotta be very aggressive in these playoffs to string together some wins.

The Bears' defense is a major liability for a deep playoff run

It's gonna be very hard if you don't turn the ball over to get a deep playoff run with this defense that's just stating facts. I've watched 'em every single game. It's, if you don't get turned the ball over, they just get shredded.

The Harbaugh vs. Vrabel playoff matchup will feel like Michigan vs. Ohio State

Do you think that this, that Harbaugh looks at this matchup against Vrabel as Michigan, Ohio State? I feel—I didn't even think about that. I think that's—I think Vrabel is the same way though.

Jalen Brown was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month

My who's back is Jalen Brown. He was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month for December. He was statistically better than Jalen Brunson. He was vocal about it. He should have been player of the month.

Justin Herbert needs to finally win a playoff game to shut up the doubters

I just need Herbert to win a playoff game because every year it's the same fucking shit where it's everyone's hating on Herbert. We need the Chargers to win this shit. I just get my hopes up every year. Fucking 27-nothing lead we fucking blow it.

Michigan officially broke Ryan Day and the Ohio State program

It actually is my, my weird take here is that Michigan did it again. They broke 'em. Ryan Day had spent so much energy to beat Michigan this year, after they beat Michigan, it was over.

Curt Cignetti is one of the best hires in the history of any job ever

I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore of just best hires for any job ever. Is he the best hire ever? Yeah. For any job ever done. I would say Michelangelo, when he painted the Sistine Chapel, I think they nailed that one. Oppenheimer to build the atomic bomb. Okay. Mission accomplished... but outside of that, yeah, I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore.

I will become an 'ice bath guy' and essentially be a Navy SEAL

In addition to the zipline, I'm gonna become a, I'm gonna try to become an ice bath guy. Notice I said try to become, yeah. I'm not gonna commit myself to becoming one because I might be a pussy. But if I can do it and I become one, I'm basically a Navy SEAL. So that's what's at stake here. Pussy or a Navy SEAL.

Saquon Barkley 'fucked' the fantasy team and wasn't clutch

We're never drafting an Eagle ever again. Max. It's over Saquon. Hey Max. Saquon fucked us hard this season. He fucked us real hard. He was our first pick... Championship game. Championship game... He fucked us so hard. Max so hard.

Jayden Daniels had a good year despite his injury struggles

Jayden Daniels didn't play a bad year. He had a bad year in terms of injuries. He played in four complete games this season. Four full games, seven touchdowns, one pick, one fumble loss. He had a two and two record. 63% completion... He was not bad for the people that were saying that he was bad this year.

Brian Flores should prioritize being the highest-paid defensive coordinator over being a head coach

Brian Flores, I think he's gonna be a head coach again. It didn't go well in Miami the first time, but why wouldn't he just, he's such a good defensive coordinator. Why doesn't he just say, 'Hey, Cowboys or any team, just pay me like $5 million a year.' Isn't your life better as a defensive coordinator?