Takes

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.

I've fallen hard and fast for Ben McCollum - he's a rock star coach

I've fallen hard and fast for Ben McCollum. He just wins everywhere. Ben McCollum always talking about toughness. I've fallen hard. I've read a lot of Ben McCollum this last week after beating Florida. This guy fucking rocks.

Puka Nacua's lawyer is the worst in America for admitting the bite occurred

Puka has hired an attorney who dismissed the conduct as horseplay, but admitted that the bite occurred. It left a temporary mark. So this is not a good lawyer. My problem is, is Puka Nacua has hired the worst lawyer in America to defend him against the biting allegations. Your lawyer should never step in front of a camera and say, 'yes, he did the shit.'

Being the designated TV remote guy at a bar is a 10 out of 10 job

Had dinner at a local establishment last night and was informed that someone on staff was the designated TV remote guy to switch between games. No bartending, no waiting tables, just ball. 10 out of 10 job. You don't do this job without immense pride. It's the best job ever.

Darius Acuff Jr. is currently the best player in the NCAA tournament

To me, the best player in this tournament right now is Darius Acuff Jr. He is ridiculously gifted and just a total stud and his ability to change a game, it's special. He reminds me of [Kemba Walker] with the level he plays.

My coaching style isn't old school, it's the right school

When you say old school, it really does hit a sore spot with me... it's not old school. It's right school. I don't want to do anything old school. I want to do it the right way and the right way's been done for not 20 years, not 40 years, 100 years. You know, you hold people accountable. You play for the name on the front, not the back.

Great players want to be coached and pushed because they want to be the best

What I don't think people realize, and Magic [Johnson] said this to me once: great players want to be coached and pushed because great players want to be the best players. So they do. You know, it just sometimes in the high school level now, nobody does that because kids will leave.

Kevin Willard's joke about firing his staff was funny and shouldn't have been taken seriously

It was such a clear joke and people, I couldn't believe... There were people who actually thought he was being serious. I thought it was a funny joke. And then we had the people trying to cover for themselves being like, well, even if it was a joke, that's not a joke you make. Imagine if you're an assistant and you hear your boss say that.

The lack of Cinderellas in the tournament isn't due to NIL but because big teams are more efficient and physical

Todd Golden had a very good point... part of the reason why there's less upsets is teams are just getting way more efficient in scoring at the rim and becoming almost like raising their floor and becoming upset proof in the fact that you get really big dudes... and absolutely hammer the boards. And when you do that against smaller schools, you're not gonna like, how do big schools lose the small schools is like three point variance.

Tom Izzo is underrated because modern ring culture ignores how hard it is to consistently reach the Sweet 16

I know we're very ring culture oriented and he's only won one. This tournament is so fucking hard. Every single year they have at least a chance. It's crazy. Like they just go to Sweet Sixteens and then the tournament kind of starts for Izzo... 17 of them is insane. Tom Izzo is somehow underrated I think because the whole entire world has changed.

John Calipari has officially won the breakup with Kentucky

Do we think that there has ever been a bigger 'won the breakup' more than Cal in Kentucky right now? ... Cal is living the best life. He has gone to back-to-back Sweet Sixteens and Kentucky is in a complete crisis with Mark Pope. It couldn't have gone worse in the first two years for this breakup.

Nate Oats needs to teach his players to never let the police look through their phones

Let the Aden Holloway situation be a reminder to everybody that you don't have to let the police look through your phone. I actually point the finger at Nate Oats for this, because Nate Oats, you gotta do a better job of explaining the first through fifth amendments to your players. Given the history that you've had... day one you should have a, get the guys from Morgan & Morgan to come in and be like, 'Do not talk to the police if you're in trouble. Shut the fuck up.'

Every major college coaching opening should start by calling Brad Stevens and making him say no

You gotta make him say no. You gotta call Brad Stevens and make him say no. I will personally never stop saying that. He probably wakes up every morning and says no. Voicemail just says, 'Thank you so much for the consideration, but it's gonna be a no.' It would be shocking if he ever took another college job.

Fouling when up by two points late in a game is a terrible strategy

Todd Golden said in the press conference they were trying to foul up two... That's insane. Foul up two's crazy. You know how crazy he is? Steven Che thinks it's a good idea. Fouling up two does not make any sense... Play defense! How about that? The, that my groundbreaking end of game scenario that I would coach in that situation would be: play defense.

NFL players should not be confident in their union representation with JC Tretter as NFLPA head

He's a moron. So it looks like Roger Goodell now has his doofus set up as they go into the next CBA. If I was an NFL player, I would not be too confident about my representation right now.

Wisconsin women's ice hockey winning 5 out of 7 national titles is a dynasty

Women's ice hockey because the Wisconsin Badgers won another national title, five in seven years. Dynasty. Five and seven years is crazy. That's a dynasty.

I Show Speed is more famous than Tom Brady

Our conversation back here was Brady or Speed. I would probably go Speed. Brady's a big name though, he got a lot of rings, but I'd go Speed. I might take it back and go top one [most famous person at the field].

I am done believing in Wisconsin basketball because they always rip my guts out in the tournament

I think the only lesson I've learned is like, I need to just stop believing. Because this has also become a thing where the Badgers haven't been to the Sweet 16 in like nine years... every year that we keep going is another year that I'm just reminded how close I was in 2015. I will never get back there. It just won't happen like every other team.

Greg Gard deserves criticism but should not be fired as Wisconsin's head coach

I trust Greg Gard, but yeah, you have to throw some criticism to him... But I do not think he should be fired. And I don't think making an irrational... I think he does a pretty damn good job with everything that he's given.

Illinois is the most ethical team in the NCAA tournament because they do not foul or steal

Illinois, the most ethical team in the tournament... They do not foul and they do not steal the ball. That was another wire to wire winner where they, if you're an Illinois fan, that's, that's the Illinois... that's a deep run Illinois.

Never bet an under in a Hawaii game

If Jake's listening, do not bet on any under in a Hawaii game.

The NCAA selection committee was lazy and stupid for putting St. John's and UConn in the same region

I absolutely hate the committee for doing what they did and putting St. John's and Yukon in the same region. There's three big East teams in the, in the whole thing and they put the desk two in the same region. That's just stupid to me. And it seems lazy and I I don't like it. The tournament is not for rematches.

Arkansas freshman Acuff is a more advanced offensive college player than Allen Iverson was at Georgetown

Acuff, I look at him and I, I watch him. He's, he's the best offensive player in the country. And I, I'll say like he's a better college player than Allen Iverson was right now. Freshman year at Georgetown, Iverson, Acuff's more advanced offensively. He's a better shooter... and just athletically his build, he doesn't get knocked around.

Betting first-half unders is the best strategy for the early rounds of the NCAA tournament

I have a theory about the first tournament games... I look at first half unders just because of their in arenas. The crowds aren't great. The shooting backdrops are different... it's been really good, but it's, I wouldn't say like it's been above 65%.

Villanova is a better basketball program than Maryland

Villanova just a better, a better basketball program... People of Villanova do not care about Maryland. Max is your bad. And the people of Maryland are, are obsessed with every single thing that Kevin Willard does.

Aaron Judge is an absolute choke artist after his WBC performance

Aaron Judge just sucking yet again. And he's gonna get, he's gonna lose some pinstripes over this. I think that's only fair... absolute choke artist. Expected nothing else from him. And he delivered nothing.

Aaron Judge is an absolute choke artist who delivered nothing for Team USA

Aaron Judge, like you knew he was striking out. And he did. He's an absolute joke, absolute choke artist. Expected nothing else from him and he delivered nothing.

The Broncos should go all in and try to win now with Bo Nix on a rookie deal

I kinda like this for the Broncos just being like, hey, we have, we have Bo Nix right now under a rookie deal. Bo Nix is a good quarterback. ... take the window and try to win. Right now.

NVIDIA's DLSS 5 is an AI takeover that is hurting graphics and animation jobs

Nvidia did a, our, oh, I don't know the stock hand off the top of my head... they announced a product DLSS five. So they're, they're bringing AI into like video games, animations and like graphics. So like kind of boxing out guys. Like people who, like jobs that would've been done by humans are now more getting outsourced. AI not cool.

Duke got screwed with their seeding as the number one overall seed

Duke kind of got fucked a little bit. As the number one overall, none of the best kill everyone. That's what I'm saying. Like if the, if the one knock that you have against the committee is that they kind of fucked over Duke. Like you did a great job committee credit to me.

Darius Acuff is my favorite player in the tournament and I'd take him #1 overall in the NBA Draft

My favorite player in the entire tournament is Darius Acuff and the Arkansas and the way he plays. I would be a bad NBA GM if they let me be an NBA GM. Take him one-one because I fucking love him. He is a fucking killer.

Vandy got screwed by the committee with a 5-seed after winning the SEC

Vandy got screwed. If you wanna say teams that got seeds screwed, Vandy got screwed because Vandy is a very good team... they just won the SEC and got a five seed... I think they're probably a four.

Nebraska should have been dropped from the 4-seed line in favor of Vandy

If you had to [drop a 4-seed out], probably Nebraska... Vandy just did a little bit more in the SEC tournament by beating Florida and Tennessee.

Timothée Chalamet can't win the big one after losing another Oscar

Timothy Chalamet. Yeah. Did not win... he's now in that like, can he win the big one? It's, it's I think it's his third time. Nothing. Can't win the big one. Nothing to show.

Ludvig Åberg is a choker who can't win on Sundays under pressure

Ludvig Åberg. Can't win the big one. Yeah. Big time. Can't win the big one. Another choke. Choke to the masters... He stinks on Sundays. I don't know what it is about him... just when he gets under pressure he just melts down.

I'm never betting on Ludvig Åberg again after his Masters choke

I put him on my list of guys I will never bet again after he choked in the Masters and then I forgot about putting him on the list. Bet him again this week. And yeah, it was, it was a nightmare choke job.

The South Region is the 'Region of Pressure'

This is the region of pressure. Now why is this the region of pressure? There's pressure on Florida to win a national championship... pressure on Nebraska to win an NCAA tournament game for the first time ever.

The West Region is the 'Region of Floor Generals'

The west region is the region of floor generals. And look at the point guards in this region. Jayden Bradley at Arizona, John Blackwell and Nick Boyd... Darius Acuff at Arkansas... Braden Smith at Purdue.

Conference tournaments are bad for top teams because they don't improve your seeding and lead to unnecessary fatigue

I'm kind of done with the conference tournaments. Like they just fuck you. It doesn't make your seed better and you end up being more tired today. If you have to play four games, you're just gonna get screwed.

The ACC tournament belongs in Greensboro and it's not the same anywhere else

I grew up loving the ACC tournament. I don't love it anymore because it's not in Greensboro. The ACC is a North Carolina League. It's a tobacco league. Put it back in Greensboro.

The NFL is in danger of losing its 'special' status by playing on every night of the week

The NFL's getting into a little bit of dangerous spot where part of the reason why we love the NFL is the scarcity. Sunday should be sacred. I don't want them to ruin Sunday. You might take away the thing that makes you special, and that's that Sunday is a special thing and you only get 18 of them. Just be careful, NFL. I love you to death, but just be careful.

The Italian WBC team acts more 'American' than the actual Team USA

I feel like the Italian team is more American than the American team. The way that they're acting. They're loud, they're boisterous, they're arrogant, they're fun. That's what I want outta my American teams.

I am rooting for the Dominican Republic over Team USA in the WBC because they are more electric

The Dominican team is electric and I like to be entertained when I'm watching sports. This tournament's for entertainment. I want to watch more games with the Dominican Republic team. I want more. I'm rooting for the USA correctly, but I respect the hell out of the Dominican team.

Duke's Cameron Boozer is comparable to Cooper Flagg because of his innate ability to read the game

Cameron, the bigger of the two [twins]... I like to compare him to Cooper Flagg because he never forces the game to come to him. He just has that innate ability to read and it's time to post up, it's time to cut, it's time to make a three.

America needs a 'Husbands for Guys' service to handle car mechanics and home repairs

Why there should be a service just guy for hire that he's not a mechanic, but he knows everything about cars. He takes your car into the mechanic shop and just makes sure you don't get banged. We could call it husbands for guys. You keep your pride as a human being and as a man intact.

I need to get into a car accident that totals my car so I have an excuse to buy a new one

I need to get in an accident that totals this car so that I have no choice but to get a new car. I want to get a sick car. That way I don't even have a choice.

Adults who wear swim shirts at the pool look like children

If you wear a swim shirt as an adult, you just you look like a child. They shouldn't sell adult swim shirts. I agree. No shirts belong everywhere but in the water.

The Ravens are using a physical loophole to back out of the Maxx Crosby trade

I'm calling bullshit on all this. It does feel like something's fishy here. And maybe it's just the Ravens using the loophole of, hey, we can see, we can trade for Maxx Crosby, see how the rest of free agency plays out, knowing that this stupid legal tampering and then official free agency, there's a two day gap and then just figure it out later.

The Ravens are using Maxx Crosby's failed physical as a convenient excuse to back out of the trade

Either one, [the Ravens] really trust the doctor to believe them on that or two, it's bullshit and it's made up and they're secretly planning a different move and they're using the physical as an excuse to get out of it.