Takes

A toe is the best body part to injure if you have to pick one

I would say though that if you were to pick one body part on your body to be injured, it's probably your toe.

Tiger Woods stands alone as the best golfer the world will ever see

Tiger stands alone in the game of golf... He was by far the best player that I think we'll ever see in our lifetimes.

I would trade one major championship for a Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl

Gosh, I don't know. I would, I would trade one [major] for sure for a Super Bowl. Okay. I mean I've, I've been root for a Super Bowl for a long time as well.

I will never be a better person than I am a golfer

I definitely fall short as a person... I think that's shit. I mean, it's like... I would say I have plenty of room to improve on the person front and, and definitely plenty of room and room to improve as a golfer as well. [Big Cat: There's no way you'll ever be a better person than golfer]. Yeah, I think that's, that's a fair option.

Kirk Cousins is a significantly better quarterback than Justin Fields

Kirk Cousins is a better quarterback than Justin Fields, Memes. I'm just telling you like, that is a, your season might end up turning. That's where I'm trying to come from. Like that's a guy who you could maybe go a little bit further in the season.

Jim Harbaugh's first day of training camp is comparable to the feeling of being born

We know what he feels like in the first day of training camp. He says the first day of training camp is like being born. Ooh. And so that is, I think he's simulating his own birth.

Trey Hendrickson leaving the state of Ohio during his holdout is an all-time power move

Power moved by Trey Hendrickson. He said that he's not only not playing on his current contract, but he's leaving the state. He left, he left the state of Ohio... To just be like, I'm not only not going to be showing up, but I'm leaving the state.

Jerry Jones' public comments about Dak Prescott and Micah Parsons are the worst possible way to start training camp

The Cowboys are like, this is not the way you wanna start camp to have Micah Parsons seemingly upset in a shot at Dak Prescott from your owner and general manager... Anytime you can publicly take a dig at your star quarterback and your star pass rusher simultaneously right before the season begins... you just gotta take it.

The walk-off catcher's interference rule is a stupid rule

I mean there's no, there's not much Hot Seat. It's just a stupid rule... Lost on walk off catcher's interference. Second time it's ever happened in MLB history. First time since 1971. The problem was the catcher just stuck it... It was technically letter of the law catcher's interference.

I have no confidence in the Phillies right now

I, I, I'm, I'm tuned in. I watch every game. It's just, I, it's, I don't know. They're frustrating squad... Dude, I just don't have a lot of confidence in this, in this team right now.

The idea of the Ravens and Commanders sharing a stadium in Maryland is one of the dumbest ideas ever

Stephen A. Smith's idea was to build one stadium in Maryland and then have the Ravens and the commanders share it, which is maybe the dumbest thing that Stephen A. Smith has ever said... just maybe the dumbest idea ever.

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

Cutting dairy from my diet cured my chronic knee pain in three weeks

I was having knee issues and I was... I needed to make some adjustments... I told myself, I'm gonna do it [go dairy free] for a month... probably about three weeks into it, honestly, I felt so much better. My body just felt fresher... I attributed it to the lack of dairy at the time.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

WNBA team salary caps should be increased to $3 million

I happen to agree with the shirt because I went gut check 1.5 million feels too low. It does feel like we've been talking about them more in the past 18 months. I feel like that should be like 3 million. I don't know that, that sounds like a good deal.

Justin Herbert wearing red contact lenses for intimidation or visibility is soft

It sounds bad. Sounds soft If you're, if you're wearing red contact lenses to try to be more intimidating. Yeah. Like he could just wear normal contact.

UFC would be a better sport if there were more KOs and no gloves

There should be more KOs. No gloves. Too much defense. There's too much defense. I want more. They should be standing up and just throwing fist. Be a much better sport.

Coldplay staged the viral Kiss Cam moment for publicity

I feel like Coldplay might have set this whole thing up because we're talking about Coldplay online. Coldplay's getting talked about more than they've ever been talked about so much.

Jerry O'Connell is using his separate finances as an excuse to avoid paying for the PMT fantasy league

He's throwing us a song and dance about how he only could pay for a third of the leak. He's, he's saying a lot of things about how he has to explain things to his wife. No, I I it's more I'm disappointed. Yeah. Like he, he's taken us for a ride.

Con Air is a bad movie because the plot is ridiculous

Our first pick is going to be Conair. Mm. I feel like that's a good movie. It's a really, but you think about the plot of the movie. It's bad.

Alex Caruso officially has two championships because the NBA Bubble title counts

One's the lowest. That's the baseline one's the lowest. Yeah. He's got two. Oh yeah. Bubble two is two. Hell yeah. I count the bubble.

An elite athlete from the NFL could play 12 minutes in the NBA based on size and dunks alone

There's certain athletes Yeah. That could just find minutes in the NBA. 'cause like there's guys in the league that can't shoot or like can't do stuff, but they can rebound the hell outta the ball and they like dunk and put it like, you can play 12 minutes in the NBA if you're a good enough athlete.

Texas fans and Cowboys fans are the same: delusional losers

Texas fans and Cowboys fans are very similar. Delusional. They're the same people. Bunch of losers.

The worst team in the league should always get the #1 overall pick

The team that was the worst last year should get the best player in the draft and there should be nothing that interferes with that correlation. The lottery thing, I'm not sure that it really affects behavior of teams in any meaningful way.

Hockey is on the rise and the Four Nations tournament will be a high-stakes precursor to the Olympics

Hockey's on the rise man. On the rise. Hockey's on a heater as we always say on the podcast, the last two years. And on top of that, boys we're heading into an Olympic year. With all that Four Nations... precursor to the Olympics coming up. It ain't the Olympics. We all know that. But don't act like they weren't playing for something. They were playing for pride.

Jordan Hudson is going to take UNC football to new heights

Jordan Belichick. Classic Game Queen. Gonna take UNC football to new heights. Oh my God. She is, she is a shining star.

Damian Lillard's new contract with the Blazers is essentially a retirement deal where he won't be expected to do much

This feels like [Damian Lillard] is retiring. Like he's gonna, he's gonna get paid for three years to not really do all that much. [The money] is basically nothing. Ashtray money.

Pardon My Take listeners (AWLs) are mean to the hosts online but are always polite and friendly in person

Love you guys love seeing you guys out there supportive, you know, say mean stuff online, but they're always nice in person. I've never had a bad interaction with an AWL in person. And that is all that matters.

Kyle Schwarber is the greatest home run hitter in the game

Kyle Schwarber is the man. What a monster. Three swings, three dongs, three no-doubters. He hit three home runs in three swings, absolute monsters. He's the best. I fucking love him forever.

Aaron Judge showed bad leadership by leaving the All-Star Game early

Bad leadership by Aaron Judge at the All Star Game. [Ohtani and Judge] were probably on a plane... it did feel like the National League manager was trying to win harder than the American League manager.

Every baseball game should be decided by a swing-off

I like the swing off. The end of game is great. I want everything decided by swing offs now. Regular season baseball games swing off... child custody hearings swing off.

The Home Run Derby format is broken and needs to return to 10 outs per round

The Home Run Derby sucks anyway. We forget every single year, then we're like, 'Oh yeah, you can't actually see the home runs land and the next swing happen at the same time.' I hate the time. Just go back to 10 outs. Make it simple. It's so easy. It was such a 'not broken, don't fix it' situation. 10 outs. Just do it every time. They just got cute with it.

George Kittle and Kyle Long are the two athletes most likely to accidentally injure you during horseplay

The two guys that I will always say that, when you are around them, whether it be drinking or just being around them and you're worried about maybe a little bit of wrestling and horseplay that will get you very, very injured: it's George Kittle and Kyle Long. Both those guys, I'm just like, I'm always just kind of ready to be tackled and have all my insides ripped up.

If LeBron James wins a title in Cleveland this year, it doesn't count

If he does go to the Cavs and the Cavs win in an East that is beyond depleted this year, we need to just already say this. That doesn't count. The Pacers are out of it, the Bucks are probably out of it. Coward move if he wins a title with the Cavs.

High school football players should be paid

We've been complaining to the NCAA you gotta pay the players. We might have to just switch up to high school football now. You gotta pay the players. Pay these guys. Pay the high school players... babies should get paid.

Conor McGregor leaked his own nude photos on purpose

Conor McGregor, I'm starting to think he might not be a good guy... maybe he was trying to get his dick out. That was like, 'cause you can't leak it yourself. So he was just doing this on purpose to be like, I want to just let everyone know that there's my penis.

The Buccaneers' 1976 throwback uniforms are top-tier and should move them up the jersey rankings

Inside this box is an early look at the modern nod to the original 1976 jersey... That thing is awesome. Those are crispy. No, those are crispy. They look great. I mean, that's hot. I know you guys were ranking jerseys the other day, I mean this has to get—we gotta go up the ladder.

Nobody cares about your fantasy football team

The first pick [for Mount Rushmore of things people don't care about], we will take your fantasy team. Don't care about your fantasy team. It's a good pick. When I say it to someone, I'm like, this is the most boring thing I could possibly tell someone.

Nobody cares about the NBA All-Star Game

NBA All Star Game. Do not care. Do not care at all. Fun to complain about, but it's just, it's the do not care at all. No one cares.

Winning a World Series in Philadelphia is more special than in Boston

What separates the two for me was... there's not many championships in the city of Philadelphia. In the city of Boston, it's pretty different. That's what makes Philadelphia to me a little bit more special. You have a love and a passion for their sports, but I feel like [Philly fans] act differently about it because they don't have many.

Hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in all of sports

Baseball's the hardest thing to do in the world. I mean, I don't care, golf's hard... but if I tell you, 'Hey, let's go down to the park and let me throw an 80 mile an hour fastball at you, and throw the first one at your head,' that's part of the game. And you'll never want to step back in. So that's the hardest.

Stephen Strasburg at his peak was the filthiest pitcher I ever faced

Steven Strasburg, when he first came to the big leagues... he made his debut against us. He threw a hundred and you just threw me two off speed pitches in a three-two count... I was like, bro, like this dude is not real. His first five years... it was a joke. It wasn't fun.

The US Open and PGA Championship have turned into 'bomb it' golf courses that prioritize driving distance too much

The US Open was never a 'you have to bomb it' kind of golf course. It's kind of turned into that a little bit, which I think is a bit of a bummer. It just feels like you have to hit driver far to contend to win a US Open. The PGA is very much like that. Augusta's like that as well. You think about the majors, and they all lean on the driver, hit it as far as possible. That's not the case at the Open [Championship].

Tommy Fleetwood is the 'Gonzaga' of professional golf

I kind of feel like Tommy Fleetwood's Gonzaga basketball is kind of my call. Very good, very talented number one seed a lot of the time... obviously has the talent on the floor but doesn't get it done. That's kind of who Tommy Fleetwood has become... do it now or you're never gonna get it done.

It is good for MLB to not have the Home Run Derby associated with Christian Yelich and his previous 'anal lingus' controversy

You know what's great is it's good for the sport not to have people associate the home run derby with anal lingus. [Christian Yelich] is not competing... we did it, one more year of keeping our tongues out of each other's buttholes.

I'm a 'Misery' guy and think MLB is right to put the 'phenom' Brody Brecht in the All-Star game to grow the sport

I don't think deserving is the right word. I think it's why... we wanna tune in and try to grow the game back and people wanna watch him. It like, this guy throws the ball so fast, so hard. And he's had a great start to his career. I'm a misery guy. I don't even know how to say his name. Misery... he puts asses in seats.

I want Brody Brecht to be the biggest bust in MLB history after he was selected for the All-Star game over Ranger Suárez

I now hate this guy. I now want this guy to be the biggest bust in MLB history. Ranger Suárez has a 1.94 in 13 games... How do you possibly look at that and be like, this guy is more deserving than Ranger Suárez? It makes no sense.

The Washington Nationals drafted Eli Willits first overall because they are afraid of agent Scott Boras

I think we drafted this guy [Eli Willits] because we're afraid of Scott Boras. And also because we had to pay King Scott Boras, big time king... It would help if the Nationals drafted a player who was not represented by Scott Boras, who has just bent them over for the last 10 years repeatedly.

The World Series of Poker should embrace its bad boy William Kass to save the game from 'robot' players

The World Series of Poker is gonna do the opposite thing that they should do. They should embrace this guy because these type of people... you need personalities. You need people that are aggravating. You don't need people who are robots who are playing by an algorithm and just going through it.

Hearing people describe their poker beats is more boring than hearing people describe their dreams

I actually think that hearing people describe their poker beats might be more boring than hearing people describe their dreams.