Takes

MJ is the greatest of all time

As much as I obviously don't want to get in the debate because I obviously everyone knows where I stand. MJ, greatest of all time.

Kobe Bryant is the greatest of all time

But I think to avoid this debate, the stance of this podcast is just going to be Kobe. We're just Kobe guys. Kobe is the greatest of all time. Just so we never have to debate this again.

Athletes injured outside their sport should be forced to play that other sport until they get a 'sports-related' injury

I've always said that if you get injured in a manner outside of the sport that you play, you should be forced to continue playing the sport until you develop a sports-related injury... keep skating out there until it devolves into a massive hockey injury.

The NBA Eastern Conference is boring and predictable because of LeBron James

I haven't watched a single Eastern Conference game in full because it's so boring and it's so predictable and it's just going to be LeBron James ducking his head, driving to the hole... getting fouled, making the layup half the time, and the other time crying because he didn't get fouled.

The Golden State Warriors are unlikable because of Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, and Steve Kerr

I don't like Steph. He's a baby back bitch. Yeah, yeah. Klay Thompson's got a fucked up goatee. Steve Kerr's milking it. [With] spinal fluid. Yeah.

I love Draymond Green's evolution into a master troll

Draymond Green I'm really liking what he's doing he's become such a master troll not only with the Kelly Olynyk call out where he just randomly said he's a dirty player he also has been trolling jazz fans... I love players that just never forget rivalries.

Kelly Olynyk is a very dirty player

Kelly's a very dirty player. Well, he's dirty looking. I think that's what [Draymond] meant... He's the guy who, when you play pick up hoops, he's going to elbow you in the face getting a rebound.

I would have beaten the Jazz if I hadn't injured my foot

Second, I probably was lashing out because it was probably right... I'm just assuming it was right after a Bulls loss. [Big Cat] Third... You were probably gambling on some of the games. [Big Cat] Because you guys were going to win that series against the Jazz if you hadn't stubbed your toe like you did. [Big Cat] I stubbed my foot.

Kawhi Leonard is my favorite player to watch in the playoffs

Favorite player in the playoffs? To watch, like, Kawhi, probably.

The 2008 Celtics are right to be upset with Ray Allen

I mean, it is a good point. I mean, guys that you've been with for a long time or that you've won with or lost with or struggled with and gone through those ups and downs, I mean, I think it is a good point to keep that communication and not just say, okay, well, I'm on a different team now, so I'm done.

The Cavaliers only won the 2016 NBA Finals because of Draymond Green's suspension and Andrew Bogut's injury

I really don't think Cleveland wins if Draymond doesn't get suspended and Bogut doesn't get hurt. So sometimes you've got to have, like, a little luck in the playoffs. Not to say that Cleveland didn't deserve to win. I think they did... But, I mean, it's just – you can't really decide, like, who's going to win the finals until you actually get to that point.

The viral photo of a man humping a shark was just 'guys being guys'

It was either him or me situation. For Jim McElwain or his doppelganger on that boat. It's like I either had to fuck that shark. Or the shark was going to die, so it died, so I fucked it... [it's] guys being guys.

An NBA series doesn't actually start until the road team wins a game

Everyone's going to win on their home court... The series technically hasn't started unless the road team wins. [Big Cat]: That's when the series starts.

John Daly's career has been awesome and if you think otherwise you're a hater

My favorite take is when people say, oh, what a shame, John Daly's career. He really could have had it all. John Daly has had it all. His career actually has been awesome. If you think otherwise, then you're just a hater.

I don't care about PETA shaming; I'm going to keep loving horse racing and losing money

My who's back... is people who want to shame us for enjoying horse racing... horse racing is in fact bad. They're whipping the horses... I don't care. Keep trying to shame me. PETA people. That's fine. I'm going to lose my money. I'm going to have fun. And I'll do it all again.

The Volkswagen commercial with the grandmother and the ashes is fake and manipulative

Volkswagen... they're like, well, we'll just put a really sappy story where a bunch of kids cry and an old grandmother, and we'll put some Simon and Garfunkel behind it, and everyone will say, oh my God, Volkswagen, they're so nice. Don't fall for it.

80% of MLB players in the '90s would have preferred greenies over steroids

To me, if you ask guys in that era or ask guys now, would they rather have steroids or greenies, I guarantee you it would be 80-20 greenies.

Barry Bonds is by far the best player to ever step foot in a batter's box

Barry Bonds is not even remotely close. Remotely close is the best player that ever stepped foot in a box. That guy, when the ball was an inch outside, he knew it... I watched a guy one day go one for one with four walks and swing the bat one time and it was a homer. That shit doesn't happen. I don't care. Steroids doesn't give you Superman eyes.

MLB locker rooms shouldn't allow bloggers or fanboys inside

They're letting a lot of people in the clubhouses that shouldn't be in the clubhouses... They're letting guys in there that have no fucking clue. Fanboys. I don't respect those guys until they give me the respect back.

Wade Davis is better than Aroldis Chapman if he can stay healthy

Wade Davis is better than Aroldis Chapman if he can stay healthy. And I know that's a big if... if he can stay healthy, he is probably the best closer in baseball.

Never fight someone with an outie belly button or someone who wrestled in high school

Never fight someone who, two rules in life, never fight someone who wrestled in high school, never fight someone with an outie belly button. Those are two rules I live by right there.

Kelly Olynyk's face makes people want to punch him the moment he steps on the court

He's the kind of guy that steps on the court and everybody wants to punch him from the get-go. You're looking for an excuse. When Kelly Olynyk is on the court with you, you're taking any excuse that you can get to just punch him in the face.

Isaiah Thomas should get a gold tooth or no teeth at all to save money on mouthguards

I think [Isaiah Thomas] should go no teeth overall. Gold tooth. Save a shitload of money on mouthguards.

Utah Jazz coach Quin Snyder looks like he has cocaine oozing out of his pores.

Quinn Snyder sweating all the time and just cocaine oozing out of his pores. I don't know if he actually uses cocaine, but you have to admit he looks like he does. I'm a fan of that.

You shouldn't have a holiday to celebrate defeating the French army because everyone does it

Basically, Mexico beat France in a battle... Everyone beats France in battles. You shouldn't have a holiday to celebrate defeating the French army. That's a participation trophy that you're giving yourself.

Cinco de Mayo is just an excuse for Americans to drink beer

I don't even think they [Mexicans] know that Cinco de Mayo is a thing. It's kind of, I think, just a excuse for the rest of the world to drink. And that beer, it says beer companies were actually, once they started diving in... it kind of took off.

Mexico saved the Union in the Civil War by preventing a French-Confederate alliance at the Battle of Puebla.

If France had defeated Mexico in that battle [Puebla], France was going to take the side of the Confederacy in the U.S. Civil War. And so Mexico kind of saved the United States.

The Kentucky Derby is infringing on Chris Berman's 'Fastest Two Minutes' trademark

I just want to say a little cease and desist to the Kentucky Derby. They're infringing a little bit on our good friend Chris Berman's trademark of the fastest two minutes in sports.

Tyronn Lue has Stockholm Syndrome and has absorbed LeBron James's mentality

It sounds to me like he [Tyronn Lue] has Stockholm Syndrome. Because this is something that LeBron James would say about himself. Like, leading this Cavs team is the hardest job... I think he's kind of absorbed his stars mentality a little bit.

Big Baller Brand shoes look like old guy catering shoes

They do look like old guy shoes. They've got that non-slip look to them like you might see in a crab restaurant. Actually, you know what? When you get a job as a caterer, they're like, everyone needs to wear shoes that look like this.

You need 100,000 followers and a blue checkmark to officially be an 'Instagram Model'

I'm going to say you need 100K... I think it used to be back in the day like 10K. These tea companies are wising up... 100K, I think that's when you can officially call yourself an Instagram model.

The best strategy for a college group project is to skip the meetings and volunteer to be the presenter.

This is why if you're ever in a group situation in college, just stop going to class. Then volunteer to be the presenter. Like, 'I'm really good in front of people, I'll do the heavy lifting and get in front of the class.' That's the most nerve-wracking part. Just get sporadic emails thrown into there so people know you're still working on the project, even if you have absolutely no value.

Alex Smith has had a long career of being, for the most part, shitty

He had a long career, and for the most part, he was shitty. [Alex Smith's] byline. That's Alex Smith's byline.

Mint Juleps are overrated drinks that you only want half of

Mint julep is the ultimate drink where you get really excited about having them on Derby Day... then by the time you get halfway done, you're like, I'll just take a beer.

Trading Jimmy Butler would be 'categorically insane' for the Bulls

The idea of trading Jimmy Butler is so absolutely categorically insane.

The Matt Niskanen hit on Sidney Crosby was reactionary, not intentional

I think it was more of a reactionary thing from Niskanen, and Sid was kind of falling down as his stick got up... I just don't think that he's intentionally at all trying to get him in the face or the neck or the head.

Lane Kiffin is thinking too hard

Lane's thinking too hard. Let's just say that. He's thinking a little too hard.

Getting a cold is the worst thing on earth

Because getting a cold is the worst thing on earth. Because every time I get sick, I'm like, I'm never going to be healthy again. A little dramatic, I admit, but what happens if you actually don't ever get healthy again?

Losing by four goals in the playoffs is better than losing in a heartbreaker

I would rather we lose the game by four goals than lose the game in a heartbreak or an overtime. That's demoralizing. Because now it's like you're a little bit embarrassed. You've got that chip on your shoulder in game three.

I'm not convinced Doc Rivers is actually a good NBA coach

Doc Rivers also is one of those coaches that... are we sure he's a good coach? I'm not sure. He won with some really good talent, but he also has lost with some really good talent a lot. So are we sure he's good? Very, very wonky career for Doc Rivers as a coach.

The first few years after college are more fun than college itself

I think the first three or four years after you graduate can be more fun than college. Because you actually have money in your pocket. You have money in your pocket. You make real life friends. It's not just like, whoever was living on my hallway.

Kansas City has the best barbecue in the country

Kansas City, best barbecue in the country? I think so.

Clubhouse character and camaraderie are essential for winning in MLB

All of a sudden, [Dayton Moore] brought this culture in, and he wanted guys that came up through the minor leagues together... all of a sudden, character became very, very important. And I really believe that's one of the reasons that a team... all of a sudden, we go to the playoffs... next year, win the World Series. And so that's when I became a firm believer that character does play a role, the camaraderie in the locker room.

I would not have survived playing in the Major Leagues during the cell phone era

Do you think you would have been able to survive with the cell phone era? No... Well, back in the day, you had to take a picture... and then develop it and then mail it to somebody... I got married at 39. So you were single for your entire career, basically. Right.

I would have hit 40 home runs in today's era with modern training

Do you think if you played right now and you had they had all the technology and how these guys train relentlessly... do you think you would have hit more home runs? Yeah. [Big Cat: 30 was your highest year... you'd say like mid-30s to 40 guy?] Oh, you know, I think it depends on what park you play in, too... Home run might have gone up.

Roger Goodell is embracing the heel role and is an ultimate villain

I really do think Roger Goodell has passed a certain point where he is starting to embrace the heel. [Big Cat: He wiped a booger on a handicapped child] that's super villain stuff that is the ultimate villain not because he embraced not because he was like oh i'm the super villain... he's just evil.

Noah Syndergaard needs to leave the Mets because their medical staff is terrible

Noah [Syndergaard]... maybe go to a different team because it seems like the Mets doctors probably aren't the best... Any name with silent letters in it. Weak. I don't trust it.

I am a better two-sport athlete than Greg Paulus

[Who's a better two-sport Syracuse athlete, you or Greg Paulus?] That would definitely be me. But I will say this about Greg Paulus. Greg Paulus was an All-American in football, All-American in basketball. Chose to play basketball at Duke... I won't say he's better than me, but he played.

Terrell Owens' locker room issues were his own fault

If it happens once, then it's kind of overblown. If it happens twice, let's kind of see what's going on. If it happens more than three times, then sometimes it's maybe not anyone else. It may be you... [His antics] wasn't such a problem until it hit the media. Then now he has to defend himself in the media.

Russell Westbrook distrusts his teammates more than any player I've ever seen

I don't think I've ever seen—and don't tell him I said this because he'll get very upset at me—I don't think I've ever seen one player distrust his teammates more than Russell Westbrook. Unbelievable season, but he really was like, these guys fucking suck, and I need to make sure they never get the ball.