PMT DB
PMT DB
Randy Moss and Blake Bortles on the Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo
It is a loaded Friday show as we celebrate Cinco de Mayo with some horse racing, Wikipedia learning, and a funeral for a certain three-word catchphrase. Big Cat and PFT Commenter started things off with the NBA playoffs, specifically the bad blood boiling over between the Celtics and Wizards. When Kelly Oubre Jr. decided to charge Kelly Olynyk, it sparked a debate about which Kelly you'd least want to fight, leading Big Cat to reveal his two golden rules for physical confrontation.
Big CatNever fight someone with an outie belly button or someone who wrestled in high school
Never fight someone who, two rules in life, never fight someone who wrestled in high school, never fight someone with an outie belly button. Those are two rules I live by right there.
PFT pointed out that while Oubre might have overreacted, Olynyk possesses a certain quality that makes him a magnet for flying fists.
PFT CommenterKelly Olynyk's face makes people want to punch him the moment he steps on the court
He's the kind of guy that steps on the court and everybody wants to punch him from the get-go. You're looking for an excuse. When Kelly Olynyk is on the court with you, you're taking any excuse that you can get to just punch him in the face.
The Original Randy Moss
Horse racing expert and friend of the program Randy Moss joined us to break down the Kentucky Derby field. After teaching us about the disturbing history of Al Capone’s syphilis-curing baths in Hot Springs, Arkansas, we got down to the betting board. Everyone is talking about Patch, the horse with only one eye, but Randy isn't buying the underdog story for the actual race.
Randy MossPatch (the one-eyed horse) has zero chance of winning the Kentucky Derby.
What I told the people at NBC, if that horse [Patch] wins the Kentucky Derby, I'm going to immediately jump off the set. The heck with the TV show. I'm going to run down to the winner's circle and get my picture made with Patch. I love the horse, [but he's going to be 40-1].
If you're looking to actually make some money, Randy suggested staying away from the heavy favorites like Classic Empire. Instead, he’s looking at some value plays and longshots to fill out the exotics.
Randy MossHence is a strong value play at 20-1 for the Kentucky Derby
Whether it's muddy or whether it's not muddy, you want a horse that's got a good chance at a decent price. His name is Hence... He's going to be 20 to 1... Steve Asmussen has never won the Kentucky Derby, but he's one of the best trainers in America, and he's overdue.
Randy MossLooking at Lee is a great longshot to include in trifectas and superfectas for the Kentucky Derby.
I think the most likely [longshot] is a horse it's going to be a big price, his name is Looking at Lee. He'll like the distance, he'll just keep coming, keep coming. And he's a good horse to put in third and fourth in those trifectas and superfectas.
Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club
The monthly meeting of the Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club is back in session. Before getting into the research, we checked in on Blake’s life under Tom Coughlin’s new regime in Jacksonville. Blake recently had his fifth-year option exercised, but he’s not exactly counting the cash yet because he has some concerns about the long-term viability of the planet.
Blake BortlesThere is a chance the world ends before 2018
Yeah, of course. I mean, [fifth-year option money] is money that I will probably never see. I think it's for like 2018. I think there's a chance that it [the world] could [end]. Either that or something else could happen.
For our topical learning, we dove into the Cinco de Mayo and Kentucky Derby pages. It turns out we’ve all been lied to, as today isn't actually Mexican Independence Day. PFT noted that while the Battle of Puebla was a big win for Mexico, celebrating a victory over the French feels like a bit of a reach.
PFT CommenterYou shouldn't have a holiday to celebrate defeating the French army because everyone does it
Basically, Mexico beat France in a battle... Everyone beats France in battles. You shouldn't have a holiday to celebrate defeating the French army. That's a participation trophy that you're giving yourself.
Blake was quick to agree, pointing out that the holiday has mostly been co-opted by the beverage industry to move units in the States.
Blake BortlesCinco de Mayo is just an excuse for Americans to drink beer
I don't even think they [Mexicans] know that Cinco de Mayo is a thing. It's kind of, I think, just a excuse for the rest of the world to drink. And that beer, it says beer companies were actually, once they started diving in... it kind of took off.
Big Baller Brand and Broadcasters
LaVar Ball finally dropped the ZO2s, and the $495 price tag has the internet in a frenzy. While the shoes don't look quite as orthopedic as the Steph Curry 2s, Big Cat couldn't help but notice they look like they belong in a very specific professional setting.
Big CatBig Baller Brand shoes look like old guy catering shoes
They do look like old guy shoes. They've got that non-slip look to them like you might see in a crab restaurant. Actually, you know what? When you get a job as a caterer, they're like, everyone needs to wear shoes that look like this.
Speaking of career moves, Jay Cutler is reportedly eyeing a spot in the broadcast booth. Big Cat is actually a fan of the move, provided Jay brings that signature "don't care" energy to the microphone.
Big CatJay Cutler would be a good broadcaster if he is self-deprecating
Jay Cutler's thinking about going in the booth. So I'm excited for it. I think if Jay is honest and self-deprecating... I actually think he'd be good.
We wrapped up the show with a very important PSA during Jimbos. After several award-winning listeners got into some awkward social situations (and one guy lost a date because of it), the guys decided it was time to officially retire the "Suck My Dick" catchphrase.
Big CatThe 'Suck My Dick' catchphrase was a mistake and is officially retired from the show.
We're done with the suck my dick. We've decided that it was a really bad choice on our part. This is what's been happening recently is award-winning listeners have been coming up to me and be like, 'I want to say it, but I can't.' So just do that. Just go up to people and be like, 'I want to say it, but I can't.'
If you see a fellow PMT fan in the wild, just give them a nod or ask if they're in the mood for some locker room talk.
