Takes

LeBron James blaming his son for a poor performance is a new low

LeBron blames his son. A new low. A new low. Even for LeBron. He has gone as low as possible. He has blamed his son on his poor performance on Monday night. He said that he was a little out of rhythm because he went and watched his son play basketball in a tournament.

LeBron James has smelly breath and halitosis

LeBron James has smelly breath, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Not just because of the wine, but because LeBron definitely is surrounded by yes men, and he probably just does his halitosis breath in everyone's face. You think Maverick Carter's going to be like, hey, Bron, how about a fucking piece of Trident?

I am going to miss watching LeBron James in the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Everyone out there, please remind us how much fun it's been to talk about LeBron this year because I will have a moment in the first round of the playoffs where I'll be like, I kind of wish LeBron was here.

LeBron James' physical therapist's deleted Instagram post was a calculated excuse for his poor season

[LeBron's] physical therapist put out an Instagram that immediately deleted it... Classic LeBron. To just put it out there, let everyone know that he actually was dealing with a way worse injury, but then have it deleted... this was the ultimate excuse, just a very well-planned excuse.

LeBron James moved to the Lakers to hide from his critics

Is LeBron James hiding from us? Because here's what happened. At like 12:30, I went to sleep. I missed all of the fourth quarter, missed the free throws... I think that LeBron James has moved out west because he knows... MJ people, we're getting a little older, got to get to sleep. The LeBron stans... they stay up all night... and LeBron knows he will not get criticized... Like, I should have been there hating LeBron when he missed those free throws. Except, father time has taken its hold on me, and I need to go to sleep.

LeBron James' bad body language on the sidelines in Game 1 was weird and indefensible

To never even look at your teammates in the eye and be like, hey guys, we could still win this game. That was a little weird to me. ... he did the bad body language where he was like, we will lose to Golden State. He didn't look, and he kind of moved his shoulders like, oh, fine. You guys have cooties. I don't want to touch you.

LeBron James got ejected from a blowout to stat pad and hit the showers early

LeBron got thrown out for the first time in his career for using foul language, complaining about a call in the fourth quarter of a blowout win. Why would he even care at that point? Stat padding? Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.

LeBron James only wears 'bunsen burner' goggles as an excuse for potential failure

He literally just wears these things [goggles] so that then he can say these things were screwing with me... or he can look tough in front of the cameras... Bunsen burner goggles mixed with a guy that goes to a shooting range for the first time.

LeBron James is the 'Disney' of the NBA and corny as fuck

He's the Disney of the world. He's the Disney of the NBA. He's the Disney of memes. He makes everything corny as fuck.