Takes

The worst part of vacation is waking up on the third day after binge drinking

Waking up on the third day after binge drinking for two days, and it really just all sets in. I think Thursday. I basically just slept all day.

Truck nuts are the ultimate indicator of a douchebag

I will start with truck nuts. Truck nuts are the Mount Flushmore of car accessories. If you see a dude with truck nuts, he is 100% a douchebag.

Blockbuster not buying Netflix for $50 million is the worst business decision ever

This is an easy one blockbuster not buying Netflix 450 million dollars. Blockbusters like know people like coming into our physical retail locations for the smell... easy number one for me.

The Red Sox trading Babe Ruth to fund a play was a terrible business decision

I'll go I guess with the Red Sox trading the Babe Ruth, best baseball player of all time, for rights to a play. Probably a huge mistake.

Decca Records turning down The Beatles is the worst business decision ever

Decca Records turned down The Beatles. And I mean that's basically the worst business decision ever to turn down The Beatles. They went and auditioned for them and they're like nah, we don't want you.

The PT Cruiser is an objectively terrible car

Right off the bat, PT Cruiser. Easy. Bad car.

Tomato juice only tastes good when you are on a flight.

Tomato juice is so gross to pick and anyone who says 'oh, it's not that bad' they're just lying because they like it with vodka... I've noticed that people only drink tomato juice on flights... Tomato juice tastes better on an airplane.

I'm afraid of being the person walking past a musician in a viral video

My first one is being in a viral video of musicians on the subway... every time I see a musician in the subway, I'll just stand there for at least like 30 seconds. Just so I'm not one of the people in the video where it's like look at this guy, Paul McCartney playing and you just went right by.

Meeting your significant other's family for the first time is the worst place to be drunk

With your significant other's family for the first time. You do not want to be that guy. You will 100% be that guy or girl because you will 100% or it's a big experience. It's gotta happen someday further down the line, but at first... you then become the drunk guy forever.

A 'nice light buzz' is the best way to fly on a plane

A nice light buzz is a great thing to have on a plane. You can't get too drunk on a plane because then it really starts to suck, but a nice light buzz is a great thing to have.

Sautéing onions with butter is the greatest smell ever

Sautéing onions is like the greatest smell ever. Yeah, some butter.

Circus Peanuts are the most trash candy ever invented

My first one is no-brainer: circus peanuts. They suck. Universally regarded as the most trash candy to ever be invented... I think they're just invented so like dads can have candy that they know that their kids won't eat.

Honey Bunches of Oats is the greatest cereal hack for eating sugar disguised as health food

I'm also happy that no one said Honey Bunches of Oats Because that's the greatest like hack of eating healthy, but it's really just sugar cereal agreed that I love Honey Bunches of Oats. It's my whole unit like, oh, yeah. I'm eating healthy here.