PMT DB
PMT DB
Nick Swardson on the Vikings and Caron Butler on His Mountain Dew Addiction
With the sports world still largely on pause, we opened the show by finally committing to a Korean Baseball Organization team. After some careful scouting of names like the Hanwha Eagles and the KT Wiz, Big Cat and PFT landed on the NC Dinos. It wasn't just the royal blue and gold colors; it was the fact that their mascot is a jacked-up dinosaur named Swole Daddy.
Big CatThe NC Dinos are officially the podcast's KBO team
So the NC Dinos, that's going to be our team. They actually have a nice logo, too. Some good colors... we got in on the ground floor here. We are the number one NC Dinos podcast.
Speaking of dynasties, Coach Gus Duggerton has officially taken his talents to Lubbock. After winning the Rose Bowl at USC, Duggs is moving to Texas Tech to see if his Air Raid offense can survive the Big 12. PFT grilled the coach on his defensive shortcomings and his tendency to overlook the 'B' button in the passing game.
Big CatWinning three Heismans is a greater accomplishment than winning a national championship
Would you rather have a national championship or three Heismans? And a civil conflict. Easy. Three Heismans. I've won the Heisman every place I've gone, so that's a recruiting [pitch]. Like, hey, you want to win a Heisman? Come be with Coach Duggs because guess what? When he's up 30 points, he's still going to pad those stats.
Comedian Nick Swardson joined the show to talk about his new movie, *The Wrong Missy*, and his lifelong suffering as a Vikings fan. As a native Minnesotan, he’s lived through every Gary Anderson and Blair Walsh disaster. He gave us a glimpse into the psyche of a Vikings fan when discussing Kirk Cousins, noting that while he's a good guy, the confidence level isn't exactly through the roof.
Nick SwardsonKirk Cousins is a good quarterback but he turtles under pressure
I like Kirk. He's a good quarterback... the thing about him is just, he's not mobile. It's almost comical when shit hits a fan where he's just like, okay, bye. [He turtles].
Swardson also admitted that his Vikings fandom has led to some public weeping and potentially a few near-death experiences for his television sets. While he loves the atmosphere of a stadium, Big Cat pointed out that the true peak of the NFL experience happens before the gates even open.
Big CatTailgating is better than actually going to the game
I actually think the tailgate is better than going to the game. If a perfect Sunday would be to tailgate then go watch all the games, because there's something about a tailgate when you have that vibe where everyone's excited for what could possibly happen and everyone's in a great mood.
Next, NBA Champion Caron Butler hopped on to discuss his 14-year career and his legendary 'Tough Juice' nickname. The conversation took a turn into his bizarre game-day habits, specifically his intense addiction to Mountain Dew. Butler revealed he used to drink a liter of the stuff in the locker room and keep cups of it behind the bench during games to stay fueled.
Caron ButlerMountain Dew prevented me from getting cramps during NBA games
I was a full-blown addict, man, with the Mountain Dews... I used to have a liter, like, just in my locker... third quarter comes, bam, Mountain Dew, no cramps. Then fourth quarter comes, bam, Mountain Dew, get buckets. I hit game winners because of that shit.
It wasn't just the caffeine; it was the delivery system. Butler was also famously addicted to chewing on straws, to the point where the NBA actually stepped in and banned it. When it comes to the plastic, Butler considers himself a connoisseur, ranking certain fast-food chains above the rest.
Caron ButlerMcDonald's has the champagne of straws
The McDonald's straws was different. I felt like the 7-Elevens or the Big Gulps... the texture was different. McDonald's straws just look cool. They look swaggy... yeah, that's a champagne of straws.
During Hot Seat/Cool Throne, the guys took aim at Elon Musk for naming his child a string of characters that look like a Wi-Fi password. Hank put teachers on the hot seat for the inevitable attendance sheet nightmares this will cause, while Big Cat viewed the move as a long-term play for nerd supremacy.
Big CatNaming a child a mathematical symbol is the 'Boy Named Sue' for the nerd community
It's kind of the 'Boy Named Sue' for nerds. You name your kid this, they're going to be a nerd because everyone's going to just be like, 'What is your fucking name?' It's keeping the nerd community alive because they won't be able to just be regular. It's forcing him into being a nerd.
We wrapped up with a very passionate Mount Flushmore of Cars. PFT took an immediate shot at the PT Cruiser, but Big Cat went deeper, targeting the original Hummer and the 'small dick energy' that comes with it.
Big CatThe original Hummer is the ultimate car of 'small dick energy'
I'll go with the original Hummer. When they had the Hummer out and it was the ultimate small dick energy car. If you've ever been in an original Hummer, they literally were not comfortable cars. They were terrible cars, gas guzzlers, all that shit. You basically just bought one to tell everyone that you're a badass, which actually means you're not a badass.
Hank rounded out the list by attacking the Jeep Wrangler community, arguing that if you aren't actually climbing a mountain or living on a sand dune, you're just paying for a status symbol with bad gas mileage.
HankYou shouldn't own a Jeep Wrangler unless you actually go off-roading
Unless you live on the beach and are doing off-roading on a fairly average basis, you shouldn't have a Jeep Wrangler. If you have a Jeep Wrangler in Massachusetts... you're not getting the use out of it that you need to. You're just doing it for a status symbol.
Remember, if you own a white Jetta, you're either a 19-year-old girl or you're selling some very questionable mid-grade weed.
