Scott Van Pelt, Ryan Lochte, Mt Flushmore of Car Accessories And Sports Are Back?

Fake crowd noise in sports broadcasts is a good idea with no downside

I'm totally down with the fake crowd noise. They had it for the Bundesliga. I thought it was awesome. It really does make it seem like a real game... I don't see any downside. I know the opposition to that is we want to hear the players talk, but as soon as players know that they're on a live mic, they're not going to talk the same way.

MLB owners are bluffing about canceling the season to force a better deal

I keep going back to the fact that it feels like the owners are okay threatening this year not having baseball, and that tells you everything. Because if they are, that means that they're probably not losing as much money as they're claiming they're going to lose. They're just trying to get a good deal.

Netflix's Outer Banks is a bad show that is also good

I like Outer Banks. It's such a bad show. It's so bad. It's become good. It reminds me of all my favorite action movies with Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme... it is so bad, and I'm learning nothing. I'm getting dumber.

MLB players are right to stand by their collectively bargained contracts

I don't expect you to have pity for the players. This isn't about pity, but it's still about right and wrong. And if we have a contract and the contract has been collectively bargained... All right. Well, I already gave you half of it back [for games not played], and now I'm going to go honor my contract, and you want me to take half less again. Well, that's bullshit.

Baseball faces a lack of interest if the 2020 season is canceled

If they stare each other down and nobody blinks and then the whole season dissolves in the midst of this... Like people are just going to say to baseball, hey, man, no one cares. We had nothing. You guys could have filled the void. You didn't because you fought about money. Now we've got all this other stuff. Have fun being over there and us not caring about it.

I can swim 100 yards underwater and hold my breath for 5 minutes

[Billy Football's question] was how far can you swim underwater... 100 yards. You can? Yeah. [And] how long can you stay underwater if you're not moving? I don't know. Maybe around five minutes.

Truck nuts are the ultimate indicator of a douchebag

I will start with truck nuts. Truck nuts are the Mount Flushmore of car accessories. If you see a dude with truck nuts, he is 100% a douchebag.

Car eyelashes are a psycho move and reveal specific lifestyle traits

The front lights eyelashes. Psycho move... VW bug, throw the eyelashes on, probably own at least three pugs. Like the Venn diagram for pug ownership and eyelashes on your car is a big circle. And yeah, probably living a life alone.

0.0 bumper stickers are the lamest distance-based stickers

I actually think there's a new number one leader when it comes to distances that's way worse, the 0.0. I think that's the lamest. That one used to be funny. Now it's lame. Now it's so lame.