Takes

Lakers fans are just bandwagon fans

Fuck the Lakers dude. Every time they had fucking playoff games, no one will come out. Could be up three-nothing in the first round as a one seed. And people are like, 'wow, they're such fucking bandwagon fans.' Fuck all of them.

Alex Rodriguez never earned his pinstripes

Did A-Rod earn pinstripes? Oh no. Not even for 2009. No. He got all his numbers. All his stats came in like blowout games.

Dentists are a scam

Dentists are a scam. You don't have a cavity until somebody tells you you have a cavity. People don't go to the dentist when their teeth are feeling great.

Take $500,000 over a dinner with Jay-Z

[$500,000]. Because most likely Jay-Z has said it a million times in various different ways. So it would be like me saving $500,000 just to spend two days looking at every single interview he's ever done... why do I need to listen to him? I could save $500,000.

Nick Saban's 'wrong place, wrong time' comment was a direct shot at Nate Oats

Nick Saban has just suspended freshman defensive back, Tony Mitchell... and Nick Saban said everybody's got an opportunity to make choices and decisions. There's no such thing as the wrong place at the wrong time. Seemed like a direct shot at Nate Oats for using the wrong place, wrong time excuse for Brandon Miller.

John Calipari and Kentucky should part ways

Cal at Kentucky has run its course. It's run its course. I think for both sides it might be best for their best versions of themselves going forward to not be together.

St. John's will make the NCAA Tournament in Rick Pitino's first year

I think, and we can revisit this a year from now, I think they will have found a way to make the NCAA tournament... I really believe that.

Rick Pitino will get St. John's to a Final Four before he retires

Rick Pitino in the Final Four will happen at some point again before he calls it quits.

Matt Painter should be fired

Get him out. Yeah. Fire is at third. Do you want me to read again? 13 seed. 15 seed. 16 seed. He's the, he's the bizarro world Tom Izzo.

Steph Curry ruined basketball by normalizing the three-point shot

Steph Curry ruined basketball. Bob Ryan's kind of right. Bob Ryan's low-key right about this... I like the three point shot, but it has, it's drastically changed the sport and not always for the good. I do miss having a dude having just dudes bang down low.

NCAA tournament teams should start resting players in the regular season like the NBA

How it's gonna become more like the NBA where maybe some teams are gonna start realizing that seating doesn't matter that much. Right. In the NCAA tournament, it doesn't start resting your guys the regular season doesn't matter.

Ja Morant will relapse if he plays poorly after his brief rehab

And the toughest part is the relapse where if he, if he gets back and he's not that good, you're gonna fall back in old habits and you're gonna be like, I need to, I need to have a gun in strip club again.

Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same room will fix Wilson's career

Aaron Rodgers... he might be the one guy that's able to fix what are the fuck's happening in Zach Wilson... Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same quarterback room is going to actually help... At least they do Ayahuasca together.

Virginia's 2019 National Title was a fluke

Virginia's upset loss to Furman further proves 2019 national title was a fluke... Do they suck? I don't even think their national title counts anymore.

If you go to a bar that doesn't have a TV, you are an alcoholic

Honestly, if you go to a bar where there's not a TV, you're an alcoholic.

Aaron Rodgers is a bitch for how he's handling his decision

Aaron Rodgers is being a fucking bitch. He is being a real bitch. This is like vindication for me where everyone has slowly been like, dude, just make a decision. This is annoying. You're holding everyone else up.

Oral Roberts will beat Duke in the first round of the NCAA Tournament

And this is what I'm talking about with the recency bias. Everybody just sees that and they're like, all right, they're hot. They, they've won nine in a row, gimme them. That's the opposite. I don't go with that. I go against that. I try and predict who people are gonna jump on. And I think Duke is a perfect example. I have them losing the Oral Roberts in the first round.

Michigan State will make the Final Four

I have mayhem in that bracket. I, like I said, I have Michigan State going to the Final four there.

Duke will win the National Championship this year because it's the year after Coach K left

I think this is Duke's year. I think we gotta go heavy on Duke. Because how awesome would that be if Duke won the national championship the year after Coach K left. Coach K was holding the boys back.

Alabama will win the National Championship

I did it. Dan, I took Alabama. It was that, it was, they play the best defense, I think in the country. They have the best player in the country. Probably. It was just wrong place, wrong time. I guess I, as I was filling out the, I smell the bracket.

Furman will upset Virginia in the first round

Furman bombs. They just chuck and that's how you can beat Virginia. Cuz they're the pack line defense. They're gonna like, if you could just shoot over them, you might have a chance.

Oral Roberts will upset Duke in the first round

Oral Roberts is the best 12 seed. And and that's, that's a horrible matchup to start... Oral Roberts win at least one game. This team is better than that team [that made the Sweet 16].

Memphis will beat Purdue and reach the Final Four

I'm gonna take, you know what I'm gonna say fuck it... I'm gonna take Memphis in this region. And I'm gonna look so stupid when they lose in the first round.

Aaron Rodgers might retire just to prove he doesn't need the $59 million

The more I think about it, the more he might retire just so that he could have the Trump card on everybody to be like, yeah, I'm the motherfucker who walked away from 59 million. Like, like that's his credibility... I think that Aaron might actually retire just so that he can have that moral high ground for the rest of his career.

NFL owners are colluding to prevent Lamar Jackson from getting a fully guaranteed contract

I think it's less about you need an agent and the collusion is more about the fact of nobody wants to pay him a guaranteed contract. Like the owners are so pissed off about the Deshaun Watson deal. Yes. And they know that Lamar wants a fully guaranteed contract. So I think if, if collusion is happening and there's like, there's a good chance that the owners are colluding on this, it's just to the point we're not gonna give this guy anybody else guaranteed five year deal.

Lamar Jackson will be the future quarterback of the Washington Commanders.

I can report exclusively via Leroy that the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills will not be pursuing Lamar Jackson... That basically just leaves the commanders and that's it. Yeah. So future Commander Lamar Jackson, I refuse to let Schefter beat me on.

The New York media ruins Jets quarterbacks by sensationalizing negative news to gain clicks.

The New York media sensationalizes quarterbacks' performances to gain clicks and remain competitive in the big media market. Amplification of negative news and critiques elicits greater responses from the consumers, leading to a lack of confidence in the fan base, ultimately resulting in a destructive impact on the team and the quarterback's confidence.

Derek Carr would not work in New York because he is too sensitive to media criticism.

Derek Carr would not work [in New York]. He's too sensitive. He cries, he blocks everybody on Twitter. Like, his excuses wouldn't suffice for the New York [media].

The Duke vs. UNC rivalry is officially dead without Coach K

One casual take I had watching the Duke UNC game was no, no, that rivalry is dead. Dead. Over. Coach K killed it. [He] shouldn't have retired.

NFL GMs should risk everything to draft Anthony Richardson at #1 overall

I dunno how you can be a GM and not risk everything to get him [Anthony Richardson]. Get him number one. Huh?

Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers for the upcoming season

Leroy's first report... Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers. Fuck. For the upcoming season.

The 76ers have zero percent chance of winning the NBA title

The Sixers have no chance. So I will not be putting anything on the Sixers... I'm only betting things I actually think could win. I'm not gonna bet the Sixers have 0% chance.

Jalen Carter will still be a top five pick despite his legal situation

Everyone takes their like pause to say, oh my God, this is horrific. And then [Jalen Carter] will still go top five.

Snake owners are absolute weirdos and potential serial killers

It's serial killer vibes to be a pro snake... Snakes literally have had the worst rap. Deservedly so in the history of animals... Just get a dog.

Russell Wilson is a bit of a fraud

Super weird with [Russell Wilson]. I gotta admit I had his jersey... and I believed in what he was selling... turns out he is fraud is a bit much, but sounds like he's got too big for his boots and I'm glad that he's not a Seahawk anymore.

Grown men hating on women is pathetic

Britney Mahomes tweeted something about grown men talking shit about someone's wife is real weird... actually, grown ass men hating on women in general is pathetic. I'm taking Britney's side on this.

The East River is full of prehistoric bison bones dumped by a developer

Dirty Water Don... he's found a bone. He found a jawbone of a steppe bison, which is just a prehistoric, gigantic bison. He found the jawbone in the East River. So that means that it is true. There were tons of bones dump there. It means that they're sniffing in the right place.

Losing three Super Bowls in a row is better than winning one and being irrelevant for 49 years

Losing 15 Super Bowls... this is kind of a mini dynasty you get to go to. Like, just think about how fun Super Bowl week would be. If for the next 50 years I said that your team can win one Super Bowl, but the rest of the 49 years they won't go to the playoffs. Or in the next 50 years, your team can lose 15 Super Bowls. I'd take 15. That means you have 18 months of pure joy in your life.

The drama surrounding Brandon Miller will actually help his NBA draft stock

My other spin zone is I actually think this helps his draft stock. Think about all the attention he's getting. Everyone knows who he is and then after, you know, all eyes are on him, he drops 40.

The Commanders will get Lamar Jackson

[Big Cat]: You guys are gonna trade up. I'll help you with that. [PFT]: No, we're getting Lamar.

Anthony Richardson will be the #1 overall pick in the NFL Draft

I'm all the way back in on Anthony Richardson... he also knows I love value... Anthony Richardson +10,000 or whatever, 100 to 1 to go number one... I'm reading all the articles, trying to just will him to somehow become the number one overall pick.

Eric Bieniemy only joined the Commanders because he was promised they are getting Lamar Jackson

There might be a little deal behind the scenes with Ron Rivera telling Bieniemy 'Lamar gets franchise tag... if it's not exclusive, oh, we're gonna get Lamar now.' Why would he go to Washington, DC... to go to a starting quarterback, Sam Howell, who started precisely one game?

The NBA rigged the 2006 Dunk Contest for Nate Robinson over Andre Iguodala

Nate Robinson was bullshit. He should have lost to Andre Iguodala... well he missed like 32 dunks in a row and then, and then still won. Prince Nate Robinson. That was the biggest NBA rig thing of all time.

Ohio State is not good enough to even make the NIT this year

I honestly don't think Ohio State's good enough to make the NIT. They're gonna lose the rest of the season. And the way they've lost is just like every, every which way.

North Carolina only made the 2022 title game because of the name on their jerseys

I really think that if North Carolina's team last year was wearing different jerseys, they would not have gone to the national championship games. If they were wearing like a mountain west jersey, they would've lost the first round. Exact same group of guys... it's just the laundry they're wearing is different.

Houston is destined to win the title because of the Jim Nantz narrative

Jim Nantz, last Final Four this year. The Final Four is in Houston. Jim Nantz is an alum of the University of Houston. So connect those stars for me and tell me that's not like, you know, some destiny to play there.

Matt Nagy will win 2-3 Super Bowls with Patrick Mahomes

Matt Nagy... he's gonna be the offensive coordinator now and then gonna be the heir apparent to Andy Reid. So it's just everything that I've already expected and my worst nightmare. He's gonna win two to three Super Bowls with Patrick Mahomes. That's gonna happen.

Tom Segura is on steroids

Tom Segura's on steroids. Yeah. Tom. Yeah. I can't believe people don't know that. No, no, no. He's been 270 pounds his whole life. And then last year he found 'discipline.' Sure, sure. Was it No, you don't think it's the proximity of him and Joe Rogan maybe happened the same fucking needles.

The Bears should trade Justin Fields to get younger assets

Maybe I could trade the fields because I want to get young... [He] seems like he's been very promising for the last, at least six months or so... But we could maybe get like a lot of other options in exchange.

No quarterback wearing a visor has ever won a Super Bowl

We've got a, a theory on this show. Well, it's not really theory, scientific fact that no quarterback that's wearing a visor has ever won a Super Bowl... mostly it's a swag. Yeah, right. Exactly... So if the Eagles do lose, maybe we think about getting rid of the [visor].