Takes

Clemson freshman Cade Klubnik is a future Hall of Famer after seeing just five passes

This kid for Clemson [Cade Klubnik] is a future Hall of Famer... I've seen five passes from him. Hall of Famer, talking gold jacket folks. Where were you when we said this?

Zach Wilson would be a better quarterback if he played slightly buzzed

I actually think Zach Wilson would be a little more relaxed if he played buzzed. Less 'Doy' plays. He hasn't had any 'Doy' plays the past two weeks, but in the beginning he definitely had some nerves.

Tom Herman's hand job scandal is actually a step in the right direction for his marriage

I'm not going to pretend to know what goes on behind the scenes between Tom Herman and his wife. My guess is knowing how Tom Herman acts just in general, he's probably kind of a dick all the time. And her finding out that he was getting alleged hand jobs is probably the most normal laid back thing that Tom Herman does. So she's like, this is actually a step in the right direction for a marriage.

John Madden is actually dead and the NFL uses fake quotes for PR

The theory of this show is that John Madden has been dead for years and that the NFL just uses fake John Madden quotes for PR. Anytime you want to get real football fans behind you, just tell them that John Madden says it's like this.

Nick Saban is using Hitler-style propaganda to motivate Alabama

This is actually a real technique that Hitler used. To just make up fake news and pretend that you're oppressed. It's called propaganda. Saban's Goebbels. So you're in charge of thinking of all these bad things to say about Alabama.

It is a breath of fresh air for a Penn State coach like James Franklin to keep things in-house

I think it's a good breath of fresh air for a Penn State coach to keep things in-house. What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. You don't need to be bringing that home.

The best way to treat a concussion is 'hair of the dog'—getting another minor brain injury to help you get back out there

It goes along my theory. It's kind of the hair of the dog theory. You know how if you're hungover, best thing you can do, have another drink when you wake up. If you get a concussion, best thing to do is give yourself another small minor brain injury to help you just get back out there.