Takes

Justin Herbert's throwing ability is the 'Mona Lisa' of football

If throwing a football was supposed to be artistic or beautiful, that is the Mona Lisa, this guy. He's the guy that as a fellow thrower... when I watch him throw, I'm like, oh, it gives your heart beats value. Like, oh that is beautiful.

Fasting is the worst thing ever

I realized I was such a bitch. ... Anyone who tries to tell you the fasting is the way to go. It ain't, it ain't the way to go.

NFL teams should consider Pete Carroll for their head coaching vacancies

There is a name out there that I think these teams should consider for head coach and he's not a hot young guy. Okay. He's a hot old guy. What about Pete Carroll? Someone should give a look at Pete Carroll.

Drake May's MVP case is strengthened by his lack of Pro Bowl offensive teammates

Every other MVP in the NFL history has played with another pro bowler. Okay. But he's, so if [Drake May] is able to put up those stats without another pro bowler, that makes his case that much more interesting. Zero Pro Bowl teammates on offense.

The Titans and Giants are the most coveted head coaching jobs available

I think the Titans might be as crazy as it sounds. I think I, I might agree... I would hire Stefanski tomorrow. I really would. I think that he's gonna be a very good head coach.

If a college coach doesn't show significant improvement by Year 2, the hire was a failure

If your guy's not getting it done by year two, you blew the higher. That's, that's it. In this era, you blew the higher, if your guy's not good by year two... if you've got a coach te begging for patience, that's a coach who knows He's already cooked.

The Baltimore Ravens are now the best head coaching job opening in the NFL

John Harbaugh and the Ravens have parted ways... this is the number one job. By far... Like, not even close. That's like the most stable front office you can go to.

I no longer want Todd Bowles to coach the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I would like Todd Bowles no longer to coach with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers anymore. Anyone else, I'm in.

The Seahawks are the best and scariest team in the NFC

I think I now trust the Seahawks. I think that D is good enough if they've got the ground game working. They are, to me, the best team in the NFC right now.

Tyler Schuck played terrible and is not a guy to get excited about

I bet Tyler Schuck, who's in the Hungry Dog. Only one that lost. I thought he played terrible. I will not be—my indoctrination is over. I'm done with Tyler Schuck.

Chris Ballard shouldn't be safe as Colts GM after 9 years without a division title

Chris Ballard has been the Colts GM for I believe nine years now. He has never won the division and it's the AFC South. And it's not like the AFC South is bad, but there have been stretches where there have been bad teams and he has not found a way to win the division.

The Giants should be ashamed of winning meaningless games to ruin their draft pick

You have to be so angry at the Giants for doing this year in year out where they fucked themselves over by winning completely meaningless games for no reason. Why did you win this game today?

Ben Johnson must be more aggressive in the playoffs for the Bears to succeed

Ben Johnson fucked up at points in this game, especially not going for it on fourth and five in the fourth quarter. Hopefully he realizes the defense that the Bears have right now, you gotta be very aggressive in these playoffs to string together some wins.

The Bears' defense is a major liability for a deep playoff run

It's gonna be very hard if you don't turn the ball over to get a deep playoff run with this defense that's just stating facts. I've watched 'em every single game. It's, if you don't get turned the ball over, they just get shredded.

Matthew Stafford shouldn't win MVP because he has too many one-yard touchdowns

Matthew Stafford, MVP? He put together a hell of a season. So many one yard touchdowns. If that was the award, he should get it. This is 10 times over.

Drake May should win Most Improved Player and maybe MVP

Drake May wins the sophomore quarterback rankings. Drake May is—should we say our as a podcast—Most Improved Player of the year. Slash sophomore of the year.

The Patriots' matchup against the Chargers is much better than playing the Bills or Texans

I would much rather play the Chargers than the Bills or the Texans. It's matchups. Like I don't—I would—I like our chances against the Chargers much more.

The Harbaugh vs. Vrabel playoff matchup will feel like Michigan vs. Ohio State

Do you think that this, that Harbaugh looks at this matchup against Vrabel as Michigan, Ohio State? I feel—I didn't even think about that. I think that's—I think Vrabel is the same way though.

Jalen Brown was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month

My who's back is Jalen Brown. He was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month for December. He was statistically better than Jalen Brunson. He was vocal about it. He should have been player of the month.

Justin Herbert needs to finally win a playoff game to shut up the doubters

I just need Herbert to win a playoff game because every year it's the same fucking shit where it's everyone's hating on Herbert. We need the Chargers to win this shit. I just get my hopes up every year. Fucking 27-nothing lead we fucking blow it.

Michigan officially broke Ryan Day and the Ohio State program

It actually is my, my weird take here is that Michigan did it again. They broke 'em. Ryan Day had spent so much energy to beat Michigan this year, after they beat Michigan, it was over.

Indiana is definitively a better football team than Alabama

My theory going into it was Indiana is better than Alabama in every single facet of this game. In a seven point spread was so disrespectful to the type of team... No, Indiana's turned it... they're just better than Alabama. Like their dudes are better top to bottom.

Curt Cignetti is one of the best hires in the history of any job ever

I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore of just best hires for any job ever. Is he the best hire ever? Yeah. For any job ever done. I would say Michelangelo, when he painted the Sistine Chapel, I think they nailed that one. Oppenheimer to build the atomic bomb. Okay. Mission accomplished... but outside of that, yeah, I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore.

Tyler Shuck is the hands-down NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

Could you imagine this guy not winning rookie of the year? No. Oh, he is a rookie that your hands down easily. Hands down.

I will become an 'ice bath guy' and essentially be a Navy SEAL

In addition to the zipline, I'm gonna become a, I'm gonna try to become an ice bath guy. Notice I said try to become, yeah. I'm not gonna commit myself to becoming one because I might be a pussy. But if I can do it and I become one, I'm basically a Navy SEAL. So that's what's at stake here. Pussy or a Navy SEAL.

Saquon Barkley 'fucked' the fantasy team and wasn't clutch

We're never drafting an Eagle ever again. Max. It's over Saquon. Hey Max. Saquon fucked us hard this season. He fucked us real hard. He was our first pick... Championship game. Championship game... He fucked us so hard. Max so hard.

Jayden Daniels had a good year despite his injury struggles

Jayden Daniels didn't play a bad year. He had a bad year in terms of injuries. He played in four complete games this season. Four full games, seven touchdowns, one pick, one fumble loss. He had a two and two record. 63% completion... He was not bad for the people that were saying that he was bad this year.

Brian Flores should prioritize being the highest-paid defensive coordinator over being a head coach

Brian Flores, I think he's gonna be a head coach again. It didn't go well in Miami the first time, but why wouldn't he just, he's such a good defensive coordinator. Why doesn't he just say, 'Hey, Cowboys or any team, just pay me like $5 million a year.' Isn't your life better as a defensive coordinator?

The Texans defense is the second greatest thing behind God

God is the greatest. The Texans defense is maybe second. That was from Jason Pierre-Paul. Great quote... and I don't think that he's wrong. No he is not. Because the Texans defense is that good.

Tyler Shough should win NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

Tyler Shough today with his wide receiver two and three out, RB one, two, and three out... takes the Saints down the field time and time again... there's just something about Tyler Shough... He should win Rookie of the Year. Shook of the year.

The Bears can beat any team in the NFC in a one-game tournament

I walked away from this game still convinced that... can the Bears play with every single team in the NFC playoffs? I'd say absolutely. Yes. In a one game tournament, they can beat any of these teams. Can they do it three times in a row? I don't know... but there's not one team where I'm like, we have no chance against them.

Kyle Shanahan should be the NFL Coach of the Year

I still think that Kyle Shanahan should be the coach of the year. I feel like that this is... an incredible season for 'em. Given all that they've gone through and all the people that they're missing and how they might get the one seed. This is his best job that he is ever done coaching in the regular season.

Michigan got a major head coaching upgrade with Kyle Whittingham

It's bullshit that Michigan just like backed into one of the best coaches in college... Kyle Whittingham, that was, he's such a good coach. Michigan got a major upgraded head coaching... he's always had good teams at Utah. I think he's going to, with Michigan's money and recruiting, he's gonna win.

Justin Herbert is the most valuable player to his team in the NFL

If you look at like, players who are most valuable players to their teams, I think [Justin Herbert] might be the most valuable player. 'Cause if you don't have Justin Herbert, the Chargers are like a four or five win team.

Tyler Shuck should win NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

He should win Rookie of the Year. Right now he's second in odds on DK... if Tyler Shuck ends the year on this winning streak, it has to be Tyler Shuck. If he ends the year six and three as a starter, insane.

The Colorado Avalanche are the absolute 'wagon' of the NHL

Colorado is the wagon guys. Colorado's the one that you're scared of... I can't help but see them running through the entire league and then winning the Stanley Cup with ease. Right now they are on pace to break the Bruins record for most points.

Every great record was unpleasant to make and involved band members hating each other

I think that every good record that I can think of was made—was unpleasant to make, you know, they all sort of hate each other. Fleetwood Mac... the White Stripes... Jack [White] couldn't get Meg to do anything... it's all kind of this struggle.

Michigan State fans should troll Michigan over Sherrone Moore's Instagram activity

Michigan State deserves and is allowed to just go after Michigan right now. I actually think you should fire back... you go Sherrone Moore. Mel Tucker. 'cause that looks like you can hang. And also do not do the Larry Nassar [jokes].

The Saints would be in the playoffs if they had started Tyler Shough in week one

If you handicap that with the Saints overall, that's pretty shucking good. If they had started Tyler Shough in from week one. Are they in the playoffs? I think they're in that division. They're playing the best football in that division right now.

The Eagles might still stink despite clinching the NFC East

I think this team might still stink. They were losing to the Commanders... we were losing with three minutes to go in the third quarter. I'm not very confident in this team, if we're being completely honest.

Caleb Williams is the clutchest quarterback in the NFL this season

I'm fully in on the Iceman nickname because that's what he is. That's what Caleb Williams is. He's the clutchest quarterback in the NFL this season.

Matt LaFleur calls a better offensive game when Malik Willis is the quarterback

I think that Matt LaFleur calls a much better game with Malik Willis as quarterback. I'm not saying that he's a better quarterback than Jordan Love because he is not. But I think that the Packers' offense, LaFleur gets his back against the wall and he gets deeper into his bag with Malik Willis in the game.

Todd Bowles should resign as Buccaneers head coach

I don't think there's anything he can do from here except maybe resign... Respectfully, maybe get out of town. Go retire, find a beach somewhere. Because you can't just keep delegating the thinking to other people. We need a guy who's down to think.

Indiana is a wagon in college football

I still like Indiana. I might even like them with the points. Indiana is a fucking wagon in Alabama's issues this year.

College coaches will always try to jump to the NFL because it is easier

I do think that college coaches will always try to go to the NFL because it's easier. But Marcus Freeman does feel like he's got a really good thing going on at Notre Dame.

Ava Hudson is the best volleyball player I've ever seen

Ava Hudson was insane. She might be the best volleyball player I've ever seen before in my life. And that's saying a lot.

The Bears vs. Packers Week 16 game is a must-win for Chicago to avoid playoff uncertainty

This one you gotta win because the Bears are most likely gonna make the playoffs if they lose this game. Then it starts to get, Hey, what's going on here? You start looking at the calculations and the 49ers are a game that's coming up next week and then the Lions in week 18. You don't want to get to a spot where the Lions Week 18 becomes a win and get in.

Oregon can win the National Championship behind the maturity of quarterback Dante Moore

What do you need to make a great run in any playoff... you need a quarterback who's going to take control... he [Dante Moore] has absolutely just matured into a guy who's now completed almost 80% of his passes in the back half of the season.

Aaron Rodgers is back to his old self

I think Aaron Rodgers might be back. The Old Gun Slinger... the last two games, he has looked old Rodgers like, and if he is going to play like that, then yes, I do think [the Steelers] can win a playoff game.

Mike McDaniel cannot win in cold weather

The Dolphins have lost 13 straight games, including the playoffs, with kickoff temperatures below 40 degrees since 2016. ... He keeps saying that he's not cold and he gets there early to practice in the cold. ... Mentally, physically, in all the ways, the cold has beaten him.