Takes

Mike McGlinchey is a better offensive lineman than Quenton Nelson.

My take is that Mike McGlinchey is actually the better offensive lineman from Notre Dame this year [than Quenton Nelson].

Drew Brees is the NFL MVP

If this continues, you can't not give Brees the MVP. You have to give it to him.

No work gets done in corporate America between the day before Thanksgiving and January 3rd

I would go one step further than that and say the year's over. No work gets done in corporate America between the day before Thanksgiving and, you know, after New Year's... and January 3rd. Get those out-of-office replies ready.

I am rooting for Washington State to get into the College Football Playoff

I now am rooting for Washington State to get into the playoff just to piss off... Mike Leach... is going to make [Saban or Harbaugh] so angry because they're all serious.

Jalen Ramsey could eventually play in the fourth-tier SPHL with six months of training

If he had six months of elite training as far as becoming a hockey player, I think that he could maybe make the ECHL... I'll bump that down even more. Maybe the SPHL, which is the fourth league. And at that point, you're making $250 a week... but mentally he wouldn't understand the game much.

The NBA off-court drama is more entertaining than the actual games

The NBA is like – I find the off-court stuff more entertaining than the actual product itself and that's why I think that it's it's such a [successful] league... because people are just obsessed with the drama. It's like an episode of WAGS but you don't even need the wives or girlfriends, you need the players.

NHL parity is what makes it superior to all other major sports

To me, the parity is what strengthens the NHL over all the other major sports... things are constantly shaken up because of those rules... in the NBA, it's just like, hey, who's going to play the Warriors?

Judge Judy is extremely rude and needs to mind her own business

I'm not a big Judge Judy fan. She's just very rude to people. Like, 'no, shut up.' I'm not down with that... [She] grabbed my friend's hat and took it off and said, 'you know, take your hat off in a restaurant' and walked away. I was fuming when he told me this. My blood was boiling... I would have given her the finger wave and I would have went back at her.

The Washington Wizards need to blow up their roster because the players hate each other

Washington Wizards are a dumpster fire... The whole team just hates each other. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result... Why wouldn't you trade someone? Because, I mean, they tried, and it still hasn't worked. Just blow the whole thing up.

LeBron James is by far the best player I ever played with

Well, clearly [LeBron James] is the best by far. I think you give D-Wade the nod [for second] because he has three championships, but T-Mac to me was the hardest cover ever.

The New Orleans Saints are clearly the best team in football right now

The Saints are clearly, in my mind, the best team in football right now. Drew Brees is insane... 21 touchdowns, one interception, 77% completion percentage. The punter for the Saints... he's punted eight times in the last six games. That's insane.

Colt McCoy is a gamer who can tread water but won't win a big drive

Colt McCoy is the type of – he's a gamer. He's going to win you a lot of games like – 21-17, and then when you get to a big moment and you need a big drive, he's not that guy anymore.

James Conner has replaced Le'Veon Bell's production, but Bell is still 100% better as a receiver

James Conner made Le'Veon Bell almost expendable. If you watch that game, there were so many times that James Conner just missed a pass or didn't make a play that Le'Veon Bell 100% would have made. And so it's funny that the stats, the running stats are there, but they forget how good Le'Veon Bell is as basically a wide receiver.

The Bears are the third best team in the NFC

Would you say the Bears are the third best team in the NFC right now as we're sitting here? I mean, they're 7-3.

The craft beer industry is currently being killed by bankers

Craft beer is getting freaking killed right now. And what's happened in the craft beer world... originally when people started making craft beers, they were into the beer. Now they're freaking bankers that are into the money. So half the craft beers now suck.

Millennials ruined the service industry because they prioritize social media gratification over hard work

There is a difference between the people that we hire today and the people we hired 15, 20 years ago... When you grow up with social media today, you can post a picture of yourself looking the worst you've ever looked and somebody's going to say, man, you look great today... So we grow up getting this instant gratification all the time... when millennials now go get jobs, the gratification isn't as quick as they're used to, so they leave and they don't stay very long.

I would immediately fire any server who posted a celebrity's bad tip on social media

[If a server took a picture of a celebrity's bad tip and posted it on social media], I would fire him. Absolutely. [As an owner] I would probably tip her... and I'm going to promote [the celebrity visit]. I'm going to try to turn it into something good... You can't determine who's good enough for you and who's not.

Urban Meyer's sideline health issues are dramatic acting based on game flow

Urban Meyer... every single time Maryland scored, he looked like he was going to pass out. He was doing the most dramatic things on the sidelines, going to his knees and throwing his headset... And then Ohio State would come down the field and score, and he'd have his hands up, and he'd be like, I'm back, I'm good.

The Green Bay Packers are dead

Today is Friday, November 16th, and the Green Bay Packers are dead. They are. The Packers gave it their all. They really tried hard, but to fall short and to punt fourth and two with three and a half minutes left... I just do not understand that ever.

Aaron Rodgers has lost his magic

I think it's time for us to put the done shit on them. I think they're done. I think the magic has gone away from Aaron Rodgers. Listen. I think the pendulum has swung.

Mike McCarthy is basically just Jason Garrett without the clapping

Mike McCarthy is basically Jason Garrett. I think they're actually comparable coaches, except [McCarthy] can't do the clap thing because his short little hands won't reach around his body and just clap all the time.

Aaron Rodgers is passionless and nonchalant about his throws

Aaron Rodgers is an exceptional talent... But doesn't it feel like he is very nonchalant about a lot of his throws? He does the flick the wrist thing. And he can do it better than anyone, and it feels like he just is very nonchalant about a lot of his throws.

Doug Baldwin is a timeless, unbelievable player

Someone who doesn't get, I think, enough credit in the NFL... Doug Baldwin is like a timeless, unbelievable player... if you watched him play, you're like, 'yeah, that guy can always break a big play.'

The Cowboys will give their fans just enough hope to break their hearts

The Cowboys can't go out in a normal way. They can't lose and not make the playoffs by just being bad. They have to do it in a heartbreaking way. So we have not heard the last of the Cowboys this season.

Never bet on the Oakland Raiders

Don't bet on the Raiders. Also, here's another tip. I bet on the Raiders like five times this year. They will find new ways to reach levels of incompetence that we have not seen in this country in the last 200 years.

Kyle Shanahan's offensive installs are outrageous

Every install meeting that [Shanahan] does is absolutely outrageous... he explains it so fast. He'll go through 60 plays in about 15 minutes and then you guys got all that, and we're out on the field practicing.

Pancaking a defender is better than catching a touchdown

If you can take a defensive end and bend him over backwards and put his back on the turf, that's one of the greatest feelings of all time.

Nick Saban definitely uses the internet and is lying about it

I think he does have all those things... I just feel like that's a guy who has the internet who's ashamed of having the internet... he always says rat poison... how does he find this stuff out if he doesn't have the internet?

Mike Wilbon thinks analytics have hijacked baseball

Wilbon... actually thinks that we're under an analytics hijacking... Analytics have hijacked his sport, baseball. And he says that we've gone so far and we undervalue wins. He doesn't care about ERA... He cares about wins.

Draymond Green definitely thinks the Warriors are his team

If I can get inside Draymond Green's head, I'm fairly confident Draymond thinks it's his team. He's the straw that serves the drink on this team.

If a podcast lasts seven years, it is Radio Hall of Fame worthy

If you do a podcast for more than seven [years]... the 95% of podcasts go for exactly one month and end. And then the other 5%, if you can get past seven years, then you're officially Radio Hall of Fame worthy.

Bridges are more beautiful than tunnels and I love looking at them

Bridges. They're beautiful. Are you kidding me? Dude, bridges are so beautiful. The architecture, come on. ... Bridges and stadiums. I'll look at bridges and empty stadiums all day.

I prefer being in tunnels over bridges because bridges make me nervous

I would much rather be in a tunnel than on a bridge. ... my hands clam up when I'm driving on a bridge sometimes. I love bridges [to look at], but [driving on them]... yeah.

Eli Manning is definitely going to be in the Hall of Fame

He's going to be in the Hall of Fame, which we can embrace debate. I actually looked through his numbers. I did some deep diving. It's interesting to be like he's a Hall of Famer for sure and then look at his career and be like half the seasons you had to even ask if he was good.

The addition of Kevin Durant to the Warriors was bound to screw up the team's chemistry

This is a classic. There's just one ball. We all predicted this when [Durant] went out there that it was going to screw up the team chemistry. We were right. It just took us a longer time than we thought to get there.

If a foreign actor plays an American in more than three movies, they are officially American

If you are in more than three movies where you're in America in the movie, you're American. Like Idris Elba, that guy's American. He was in The Wire. When I found out he had an English accent, it blew my fucking mind... Christian Bale? American. 100%. Russell Crowe? American.

Bill O'Brien is a bad coach who will never win a Super Bowl

Bill O'Brien's a bad coach and no way he's going to win a Super Bowl. Yeah, exactly. No way he's going to win a Super Bowl.

Kansas football should run the triple option because they will always suck otherwise

Kansas should just start running the triple option. Why not? Like, you suck. You're always going to suck unless you bring back Mark Mangino. You suck, so just run the triple option and just fuck everyone up. No one wants to play against the triple option.

The holiday season officially starts right now (November 14th)

My cool throne is actually for everyone who wants to get drunk all the time, because I think we can officially say it's holiday season. Starting right now.

Kansas football is a joke and deserved the treatment I gave them

Kansas football [is] a joke. And then you kick the shit out of them, and then you obviously are like, yeah, you guys are a joke. They should get everything that they deserve in that respect... I think it was more about being the bigger man in that one and letting them just—like you described Kansas football—letting them do that. And letting them stay at that level.

I would love to run the Oklahoma offense in the NFL

Obviously the easiest answer would be, yeah, I'd love to run the offense at Oklahoma. That's because I had three years to do it, and I got so comfortable in it.

The Eagles are playing like a pile of shit

They [the Eagles] are playing like a pile of shit. Offensively, they look boring. I don't know what it is that's so different from last year.

Baker Mayfield is officially a franchise quarterback

Baker Mayfield saying, 'I woke up this morning feeling dangerous.' That's a franchise quarterback.

Matt Patricia has officially lost the Lions' locker room

Remember the start of the season when we said Matt Patricia lost the locker room and everyone was like, 'No, you were wrong.' I think he actually has. And it's a disaster.

The Jets need to fire Todd Bowles

Todd Bowles has got to get fired. He does. He does. No, don't change the subject here. Todd Bowles has got to get fired. I remain faithful [that they should].

Louisville is no longer fun without Pitino and Petrino

I wish they didn't fire Pitino and Petrino, because now I feel like Louisville's just not going to be as fun anymore. They went from the horniest campus in America to now just a really boring campus.

Michigan is currently a better team than Notre Dame

I honestly think Michigan, even though it lost to Notre Dame to start the year, is better than Notre Dame. At least it's playing better... I think Michigan just overall, special teams, defense, and offense has been a better team than Notre Dame.

Oklahoma should not make the College Football Playoff because their defense is terrible

Oklahoma stinks. And if they somehow sneak into the college football playoff, I will be absolutely furious because their defense is so bad... Tell me there's order in this world [and they won't make it].

Ben Mason is the clear number one fullback in college football

Mason's my clear number one. No, Mason, to me, is clearly the best fullback in college right now. He just destroys dudes.

Dino Babers would be the ideal hire for USC

If I'm the Trojans, I'd go after [Dino] Babers, honestly. Because I think that he runs an exciting offense. You know, in L.A., you have to sell excitement. I think Babers is a good coach.