Takes

No matter where we go in our careers, people will try to take us down for our past

It's almost liberating because it taught me that no matter where we go with our careers, people are going to try to take me down for my past. And that's fine because at this point, the biggest takeaway was don't get caught in a situation where internal politics and people with an ax to grind can determine your fate.

Going to ESPN was a mistake fueled by the brand's legacy seduction

I think it was a mistake for sure. It was a mistake to go back to ESPN. I'll be honest. We got, speaking for myself at least, got a little bit seduced by the fact that, hey, we're going to be on ESPN. I mean, I grew up watching ESPN. It's a brand.

Television as a medium is dying

Yeah, that's the problem they're having is TV's dying. Right. Nobody watches TV anymore. It is, but it isn't. It's dying.

If you played for the Cowboys in the last 15 years, a media gig is waiting for you

If you played for the Dallas Cowboys in the last 15 years, you have a media gig that's waiting for you. T.O. in the booth. They should put T.O. and McNabb in the booth together.

Josh Allen is a perfect fit for the Buffalo Bills because he has big hands for the cold weather

I think that's a great fit for Bills Mafia. I think it's a great fit for, you know, people forget it's cold. Cold, windy, snowy up there. Big hands. Josh Allen checks off all those boxes. Fucking awesome.

Josh Rosen is the best passer in the 2018 NFL Draft class

Josh Rosen, I like Josh Rosen. I had him ranked number one on the Big Cat Big Board because I think he's the best passer.

NFL running backs are entering a new age of resurgence

People are talking shit about drafting a running back. Guess what? We are now living in the resurgence age of running backs.

LeBron James is the best athlete in world history

LeBron James is the best athlete in world history, as I've long said.

I hate the NBA and the entire league is disgusting

The whole thing is disgusting to me. I haven't changed my opinion on any of it. I hate the NBA.

'I had diarrhea' and 'Our country's national debt' are the two best excuses of all time

Listen, as far as I'm concerned, the two best excuses of all time are, I had diarrhea. Nobody asks you any more details. ... and, hey, do you know how much money we owe to China? What the fuck does it matter?

Kanye West is only supporting Donald Trump to sell records

I'm assuming, I think we can all agree that it is all just to sell records, or see, they're not records anymore. ... Way to date yourself. ... But if it's not that, and instead to sell a new energy drink called Dragon Energy, I'm all the way in.

I'm officially canceling Russell Westbrook

I've canceled Russell Westbrook. He's canceled. He's done. I, white girl, can't even with him anymore. Dude, you know how lame you have to be to get owned by Mitt Romney? I mean, and Mitt Romney owned him. He showed him how many fouls he had.

The Thunder are trash and are not legitimate competitors

I'm done with anyone talking about the Thunder. I said this pre-playoffs. I called this. I said they are trash, and I do not want to hear about the Thunder being any kind of, like, even close to a competitor.

Quentin Nelson is the best player in the 2018 NFL Draft

I think the best player in the draft is Quentin Nelson, but I'm a biased O-line lover. ... He's a guy at night before I go to bed, I might put on some Quentin Nelson highlights just to watch him.

NFL offensive line play is getting worse every year

I wouldn't take a quarterback moving forward that couldn't [extend the play] because O-line play is starting to deteriorate. All these colleges, they get less time with the guys. NFL, the new CBA, they get less time with the guys. And the O-line play in the league as a whole is getting worse and worse every year.

John Elway falls in love with any quarterback he sees in person

I think John Elway's problem is that he just loves every quarterback. As a former quarterback, he will love you if he sees you, where if you wear a football, if you throw a football in front of him, he's like, I'm in love with this guy. He's awesome.

Colin Cowherd's theory of Manalytics is actually real

The theory behind it that the regular season doesn't matter and the playoffs get a lot harder and your flashy PER and how you score at such an insane pace in the middle of December, that doesn't matter in the playoffs. ... It sucks that we can't mock manalytics because it actually makes sense. ... manalytics are real.

The Bulls would have won the NBA title last year if Rajon Rondo hadn't gotten hurt

The Bulls probably would have won the title last year if [Rajon] Rondo didn't get hurt... because he was fourth gear Rondo. He was just getting ready.

Josh Allen has the highest upside but the lowest floor of any player in the draft

I kind of look at this like Josh Allen's got the biggest upside of maybe any player in this draft, but he also has got a low floor.

Saquon Barkley is a clean prospect and every bit as good as Fournette, Elliott, or Gurley

I'll tell you right now, the Barkley kids are every bit as good as any of those guys [Fournette, Ezekiel Elliott, Gurley] and totally clean off the field as well.

Derek Jeter has completely ruined his legacy as Marlins owner

I think Derek Jeter, I think we can say it now, he has completely ruined his legacy. It is unbelievable how much of a douchebag Derek Jeter has been in the last year. The fact that he sits there and says, you have to be mentally strong and you've got to get out there and compete every day and you never tell a team that they're not set up to win. Derek Jeter, you played for the New York Yankees.

The Pelicans are getting revenge on the Blazers because they took their hurricane logo personally

New Orleans saw that the Blazers have a hurricane as their logo, and they took it personally. And they're pissed off. Yep, they took all their angst out.

The Timberwolves are the saddest team in the world

The Timberwolves are the saddest team in the world. They are pretty bad. There's no really redeeming quality to watching them play.

The Washington Capitals should go back to Philipp Grubauer despite Braden Holtby's good play

Perfect time to go back to [Grubauer]. Right when they're not expecting it. I feel like the Caps should never play a hot hand too long. Just go the reverse of what everyone says you're going to play the hot goalie.

Tom Brady and Bill Belichick actually hate each other

Tom Brady, on the other hand, I think he hates Belichick. I think they hate each other.

We should nuke aliens immediately if we find them

If we find a planet with aliens on them, we just nuke the planet immediately. Can't take that chance. They definitely have better weapons than us. We should become the aliens that we're afraid of coming to us.

Mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream flavor

My number one flavor... It's mint chocolate chip. Best ice cream flavor there is. Number one pick.

Phish Food is the best Ben & Jerry's flavor

I would die on this hill: Fish Food. It's got the marshmallow. And you know what I like? The crunch element is the chocolate-covered caramel fish.

Brad Stevens is the best coach in the NBA

Brad Stevens is the best coach in the NBA. He is a wagon. I expect anything from a Brad Stevens coached team. They just play so much smarter than everyone else.

The NFL should fine quarterbacks for receiver head injuries if the pass leads them into danger

Micah Hyde... came up with a new idea that actually makes a lot of sense about finding players for helmet-to-helmet hits. He thinks that quarterbacks should be fined for their receivers getting hit in the head if the quarterback leads them into danger. I don't hate it.

LeBron James was the hardest player to guard in the NBA during my rookie year

I'm going to go LeBron [James]. [Hardest guy I had to guard].

Shortening the MLB season and adding doubleheaders would make the sport better

Anthony Rizzo has said that he thinks we should play less baseball games, which I'm all for... Why don't we just start it later and do doubleheaders? Doubleheaders are such a fun, weird thing in baseball that they don't do enough... I think less baseball would make baseball, I think it'd be an addition by subtraction.

2-0 is the most dangerous lead in hockey

2-0 is the most dangerous lead in hockey, and the Blue Jackets have a 2-0 lead. They stink. I'm okay with that.

LeBron James needs to get back on social media to play well

I think Zero Dark 23 is actually bad for LeBron because he's such a millennial. He needs to be hooked up to his endorphin stream that comes from his Instagram account and his tweets. He needs to get back on social media.

The Celtics are the most likable team in the NBA playoffs

I think that the Celtics are the most likable team in the NBA playoffs right now.

Russell Westbrook is LeBron James's motivation for getting triple-doubles

Skip Bayless is basically saying that LeBron James just started to get triple doubles because he saw all the attention that the media was paying to Westbrook, and not because he's really good at basketball or anything.

Ben Simmons is a rookie

He didn't play one game [his first year]? Then he's a rookie. I mean, you didn't do anything on the court to gain any experience or stuff. I think he's a rookie.

I would love to have Bryce Harper on the Cubs

I would love to have Bryce on our team. Who wouldn't? He's great.

Gregg Popovich is an enormous dickhead

I think Greg Popovich is a... Enormous dickhead... He's gotten so much positive reinforcement for being an asshole that now he's just like, it's good if I'm an asshole.

The Capitals losing Game 1 is good because you can't win a Cup without adversity

This is how you find out what your team's made of. You can't win a Stanley Cup if you don't have to battle through some adversity. Good news is we got it out of the way right away.

I am rooting for LeBron to get to the Finals just so he can lose for a 10th time

I'm rooting for the Cavs in the Eastern Conference this year... Because I want LeBron to lose again in the finals. I want the losses. I have the dream in my mind, the dream that Hank spoke out loud last year when he's like, what if LeBron ends up losing 10 NBA finals? So I am all in on the Cavs up until the finals.

The OKC Thunder are not a super team and Carmelo Anthony is trash

I do not give a fuck about the Oklahoma City Thunder. I do not care that they have three quote-unquote superstars because Melo is trash. Paul George and Russ Westbrook are still very, very good, but they are not going to beat anyone. Even if they win their first series, they're not going to do anything. It's like this thing that happens to everyone's brain where they see a couple of splashy names on a team together and they say super team. They don't let them get in a series. They could beat anyone. They could not beat anyone. They're not good.

Football is a six-inch war focused on running the ball

We've got to run the ball. I mean, that's football. That's what this game's all about. It's a six-inch war. If you can't move people, you can't win. And, you know, that's the name of the game, no doubt.

Kinnick Stadium is one of the hardest places to play in the Big Ten

It's great in Kinnick. You know, they're right there behind me, literally found in the front row of Kinnick. I mean, they are awesome. I mean, they are on you from the minute you walk in. It is pretty darn good.

Bill Belichick could make any player good

I think Bill Belichick probably make anyone good.

Swallowing gum is completely normal and no different than eating candy

I'm trying to educate the world that it's not, you can swallow [gum]. It's the same thing as candy. It's the same thing as a Tootsie Roll. It's the same thing as a piece of licorice. Once the flavor goes away, you swallow it.

Carmelo Anthony stinks as an NBA player

Can we, as like a society, just agree that we're not going to believe the bullshit hype with the Thunder? Melo stinks. I watched him play. All he does is run up and down. He runs three-point line to three-point line, and he doesn't play any defense, and he doesn't really move on offense, and he bricks shots. He stinks.

The Rockets and Raptors are frauds until they win a big game

These playoffs are the 'we don't actually believe in these teams' playoffs because everyone's talking about the Rockets, everyone's talking about the Raptors, and I don't believe in either of those teams until they actually win a big game, and neither of them are going to do it.

The 2018 Cavaliers have the least margin for error of any LeBron James team

I would say this year's Cavaliers have the least margin for error of any of [LeBron's] Cavaliers teams since he came back. And, you know, if Kevin Love gets hurt again somehow during this playoff run or if something bad happens like that to that team, there's no soft landing.

Mark McGwire's claim that he didn't need PEDs for 70 home runs is ridiculous

Mark McGwire has come out out of nowhere and said that he didn't need PEDs to hit 70 home runs. He could have done it without him. All I got from this is Mark McGwire did PEDs. Sammy Sosa now was the home run king in 1998 with 66 home runs. It is hilarious to look at a picture of Mark McGwire on the A's and then look at a picture of Mark McGwire on the Cardinals.