PMT DB
PMT DB
Rachel Nichols on NBA Playoffs, Melo Stinking, and the End of Color Rush
The NFL has officially declared war on Pardon My Take. By doing away with Color Rush Thursdays, Roger Goodell hasn't just messed with the uniform policy; he’s taken a direct shot at the culture of this show. Big Cat and PFT are mourning the loss of those neon-green and all-white ensembles that made Thursday night football somewhat tolerable.
Big CatThe NFL eliminated Color Rush Thursdays as a direct shot at Pardon My Take
I might be a narcissist. I might be an egomaniac. But it's hard for me to think this isn't a direct shot. They had one card in the battle against Pardon My Take, and that was the Color Rush. Besides that, we had all the leverage. And guess what? They came at us hard. Quite literally the darkest day in NFL history.
Before the guys could even process the loss of the jerseys, they had to address a much more alarming situation inside their own Airbnb. It turns out Hank has been treatng the house's gumball machines like a buffet, but instead of spitting the gum out like a normal human being, he’s been swallowing every single piece. Hank’s defense is that it's no different than a Tootsie Roll, which is a level of delusional only he can reach.
HankSwallowing gum is completely normal and no different than eating candy
I'm trying to educate the world that it's not, you can swallow [gum]. It's the same thing as candy. It's the same thing as a Tootsie Roll. It's the same thing as a piece of licorice. Once the flavor goes away, you swallow it.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a heavy dose of tech and trauma. Big Cat is legitimately terrified of what Scott Frost is cooking up at Nebraska, fearing an 11-win season is imminent.
Big CatI am nervous that Scott Frost is building a powerhouse at Nebraska
I'm very nervous about Nebraska... We're going to walk into Nebraska and Scott Frost is going to build an 11-win team. And I'm going to be very, very upset about it.
PFT took aim at Andrew Luck’s recovery process, or lack thereof. Luck is apparently trying to heal his shoulder by reading literature, which PFT correctly identified as a nerd move that proves the entire education system might be a scam.
PFT CommenterThe fact that Andrew Luck isn't healthy proves that books are officially junk science
He says that he's been reading a lot as part of his rehab. Nerd. So he's been reading a lot of books and nurturing himself with literature. The fact that he hasn't gotten better means that books are officially junk science, right? If that's his treatment course.
Then there was Mark Zuckerberg's appearance before Congress. Watching the Facebook founder sit on a booster seat while staring with unblinking, dead eyes at senators was enough to convince Big Cat that the robot uprising is already here and its leader has a bowl cut.
Big CatMark Zuckerberg is definitely a robot and failed his attempt to look human in front of Congress
He looked like a robot. Like full... If Mark Zuckerberg's sole attempt was to try to persuade people that he's not a bad guy... he failed terribly. He did because he looked like a robot. He had a terrible suit. He had a bowl cut... He just looked exactly like I would expect a robot to look.
Rachel Nichols joined the show to help sort through the chaotic NBA playoff seeding. While she tried to be diplomatic about veteran players, Big Cat wasn't having any of it when it came to the Oklahoma City Thunder and Carmelo Anthony.
Big CatCarmelo Anthony stinks as an NBA player
Can we, as like a society, just agree that we're not going to believe the bullshit hype with the Thunder? Melo stinks. I watched him play. All he does is run up and down. He runs three-point line to three-point line, and he doesn't play any defense, and he doesn't really move on offense, and he bricks shots. He stinks.
The conversation turned toward the heavy hitters in the East and West. Big Cat is ready to call out the top seeds as pretenders until they actually show up when the lights are brightest. He isn't buying the Rockets or the Raptors as legitimate threats to the throne.
Big CatThe Rockets and Raptors are frauds until they win a big game
These playoffs are the 'we don't actually believe in these teams' playoffs because everyone's talking about the Rockets, everyone's talking about the Raptors, and I don't believe in either of those teams until they actually win a big game, and neither of them are going to do it.
PFT is specifically worried about James Harden’s stamina. His theory is that Harden’s physical conditioning won't hold up in a deep series, leading to the classic playoff disappearances we've seen in the past.
PFT CommenterJames Harden is in such bad shape that he will get winded and struggle if a playoff series goes deep
James Harden's in such bad shape that if a series goes six or seven games, he's going to be winded and he's going to go like one for 20 again like he did last year.
This led to a deeper breakdown of the Rockets-Warriors matchup. Big Cat believes the Warriors have a psychological edge, knowing they can mentally break Harden over the course of a week and a half.
Big CatThe Warriors know James Harden is mentally soft and will grind him down in a seven-game series
I have a feeling the Warriors know that James Harden is, dare I say, mentally soft and that they can get to him. And in a seven-game series, they are going to be able to grind him down and beat the Rockets.
Rachel Nichols offered a more grounded perspective on LeBron’s current situation in Cleveland. She noted that while LeBron is still LeBron, the supporting cast around him is thinner than ever, leaving no room for a single mistake or injury.
Rachel NicholsThe 2018 Cavaliers have the least margin for error of any LeBron James team
I would say this year's Cavaliers have the least margin for error of any of [LeBron's] Cavaliers teams since he came back. And, you know, if Kevin Love gets hurt again somehow during this playoff run or if something bad happens like that to that team, there's no soft landing.
She even suggested that the first round might be a much bigger headache for the Cavs than the general public expects, specifically highlighting a certain team from Indiana.
Rachel NicholsThe Pacers will be a much harder first-round challenge for Cleveland than people think
Right now, as we have this conversation, the Pacers are matched up against the Cavaliers. I think that series is actually going to be harder for Cleveland than other people might think. The Pacers are legit tough this year.
To wrap up the sports talk, PFT made a massive guarantee for the NHL playoffs. His hatred for John Tortorella has reached such a peak that he's calling for the Capitals to make quick work of the Blue Jackets.
PFT CommenterThe Washington Capitals will sweep the Columbus Blue Jackets
John Tortorella is a world-class piece of shit, and I love watching him get beat. I'm predicting a sweep in the first round.
In the segments, Respect the Biz covered a Milwaukee reporter getting into a fistfight at a Brewers-Cubs game. PFT argued that the First Amendment basically gives journalists a license to throw hands whenever they feel like it.
PFT CommenterJournalists should be allowed to punch each other because of 'freedom of the press'
There's a little thing out there called freedom of the press, which means that journalists are allowed to do whatever they want... and say whatever they want, and you can't do anything about it. So they arrested this guy for just being a reporter.
Finally, the guys took some time for PR 101 and Guys on Chicks. PFT broke down the "Double T" theory of cheating, explaining that if you date a guy with certain names, you should probably see the red flags coming from a mile away.
PFT CommenterDating a man named Tristan, Tyler, or Travis is asking to get cheated on
This is what happens when you date a guy named Tristan. You're kind of asking for it. Double T. Tristan, Tyler, or Travis, if you date any one of those three, and Tyler can be a boy or a girl, you're asking to get cheated on. Trev and Trav are definitely guys who are just guys being dudes. And what do guys being dudes do? They get horny.
Between the end of Color Rush and Hank's intestinal blockage, it's clear the world is a dangerous place.
