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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Dating a man named Tristan, Tyler, or Travis is asking to get cheated on

This is what happens when you date a guy named Tristan. You're kind of asking for it. Double T. Tristan, Tyler, or Travis, if you date any one of those three, and Tyler can be a boy or a girl, you're asking to get cheated on. Trev and Trav are definitely guys who are just guys being dudes. And what do guys being dudes do? They get horny.

This is a subjective generalization about human behavior based on first names.

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Loss
Apr 11, 2018
#13082
Big CatBig Cat

The NFL eliminated Color Rush Thursdays as a direct shot at Pardon My Take

I might be a narcissist. I might be an egomaniac. But it's hard for me to think this isn't a direct shot. They had one card in the battle against Pardon My Take, and that was the Color Rush. Besides that, we had all the leverage. And guess what? They came at us hard. Quite literally the darkest day in NFL history.

The NFL didn't eliminate the uniforms to spite a podcast; it was a logistics and branding shift for Fox's new Thursday Night Football deal.
Push
Apr 11, 2018
#13083
HankHank

Swallowing gum is completely normal and no different than eating candy

I'm trying to educate the world that it's not, you can swallow [gum]. It's the same thing as candy. It's the same thing as a Tootsie Roll. It's the same thing as a piece of licorice. Once the flavor goes away, you swallow it.

While not fatal, medical consensus is that gum is not meant to be swallowed as it's indigestible, though it does pass through the system.
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

I am nervous that Scott Frost is building a powerhouse at Nebraska

I'm very nervous about Nebraska... We're going to walk into Nebraska and Scott Frost is going to build an 11-win team. And I'm going to be very, very upset about it.

Scott Frost famously struggled at Nebraska, never winning more than 5 games in a season and finishing with a 16-31 record.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The schedule release is a highly watched media event, though many analysts share the sentiment that it is overblown.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

This is a procedural suggestion that has not been implemented by the league.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.

This is a hypothetical scheduling proposal to solve the issue of horses skipping the second jewel of the Triple Crown.