Takes

The water cup from beer pong is the world's most powerful disinfectant and can help stop the virus

the most powerful disinfectant thing known to man, the water cup in beer pong. So we've had the solution in front of us our whole lives... it's scientifically proven that if you fill a red solo cup up two-thirds of the way with room temperature water and then get everybody in the party to dip their fingers in it over the course of the night, no one's getting sick. If that ball hits the ground, you dip it in the water cup, you're good to go.

Green Bay should move the Packers franchise if they need gimmicks to get fans loud

It's a sad, sad day when the Packers need to find gimmicks to be louder. [...] If you have to ask the Green Bay fans to be louder, maybe just move the whole franchise.

There should be a reality show called 'Racism Island' for people fired for racism like Roseanne Barr

Everyone who loses a job for being racist, like Roseanne Barr... should go on a reality show together. They should make a reality show called Racism Island... and then you take all the money that the show generates, and then you donate it to make a scholarship fund for minorities.

McGregor will pay goons to bet on Mayweather so he can lose the fight and still get paid

I think that McGregor is sending out a bunch of his goons to every single casino, putting money on Floyd Mayweather to win in the first round, and then he's going to come out and just shoot him, take him down, do like a double leg, beat the shit out of him, and then lose the fight, but he still gets paid like a few million dollars for winning.

We should have portable gyms in trucks so people can work out during their commute

We need to have portable gyms. So instead of your commute, you get in the back of a truck and you work out while you're commuting to your job. No one likes to commute. No one likes to go to the gym. Get them both out of the way at once.

Paying recruits in Bitcoin is 'theoretically legal' because the money isn't tangible

We just pay recruits in Bitcoin. Untraceable... Is there an NCAA law that you cannot pay your recruits in Bitcoin?... Bitcoin isn't tangible. It's theoretical. So, theoretically, we didn't do anything wrong... Global Worldwide Solutions Synergy Corporation. Theoretically legal. That's our tagline.

My book 'How to Win a Fist Fight' would just be a hollowed-out book with a knife inside

We are going to sell a book called How to Win a Fist Fight, and it's just inside the book. It's carved out, and it's just a knife... Step one, take this knife out. Step two, stab the guy in the face. Step three, you won your fist fight.

Planes should have giant parachutes to prevent crash landings

I was watching the movie Sully... and I was just wondering, why don't planes just build parachutes so if that happens they can just parachute down and not have to worry about crash landing? Like inside the plane so it's like oh shit the engine's failed, pop parachute, safe.

Tom Crean's face is the most marketable asset in sports business

Tom Crean has a face that you cannot look away from. You'll never forget it either. If you are walking down the grocery aisle and you see Tom Crean's stupid fucking face, you're buying that product. Tom Crean should actually... we could sell anything with Tom Crean's face on it.