Takes

I would not leave the Masters if I were winning, even for the birth of my first child

If I was winning the Masters, I would not leave. First kid. I agree with you. First kid. First kid. I would first kid if I was winning the Masters. If I was winning the Masters, I would not leave.

Walking nine holes is the best way to experience golf

If you find a course and you find like a, a slot of time where You can walk, it's amazing. I sound kinda like the old like romanticism of golf guy... recently, within the last couple years I would walk nine holes, never 18. I'm gonna die out there if I walk. But if I walk nine holes, it's fucking beautiful. Yeah. Because in a cart you almost aren't looking at the scenery around you.

Golf is better when fans have specific players to root against like Brooks Koepka

Biggest pet peeves about golf is that no matter who wins, we all say yay at the end of it... You rally around one guy, right? And that's what you also need to be able to rally against one guy... Frankie has been going against Brooks for a few years now.

Tiger Woods will win another major championship

I'm standing behind my guy. Tiger Woods wins another major. For sure.

Brooks Koepka is going to win eight majors next year

Well, he's going to get five, six, seven, eight next year. He's going to get eight majors next year. Yep. Yep. Yep.

I want the US Open course to be harder; currently it is being a 'wussy'

The course is being a little bit of a wussy... I want even par to win my U.S. Open. I want shitty golf. I want awful golf.

The deer seen on the US Open broadcast at Pebble Beach are fake props released from a truck

Those are fake deer... I'm saying there's a guy. I'm saying a guy's standing on the beach with a big fucking truck of deer and just letting them loose... There's no chance [they are real]. I've been to US Opens. There's just so many people.

Tiger Woods means more to the sport of golf than any other athlete means to their specific sport

The Tiger effect is very real. I mean, we knew this was going to happen, but it just goes to show, like, I don't think there's ever been someone who's meant more to one specific sport than Tiger Woods to golf.

Pimento cheese sandwiches taste like microwaved Dunkaroos

You could get the same effect from microwaved Dunkaroos for 30 minutes in your microwave and then making a ball out of it. That's what the pimento cheese sandwich tastes like.

Golf is not a major sport

I don't care if someone shoots the wrong club or if I said the wrong terminology with golf. Golf is not a major sport. It's not one of the four major sports for a reason. If it were a major sport, everyone would watch it.