PMT DB
PMT DB
Kyle Van Noy on Super Bowl Prep, John Elway Canceled, and Hank's Cat Bet
John Elway has officially been canceled as a GM. Big Cat led the charge by pointing out that Elway has a singular, obsession with height that is clouding his judgment. After cycling through a series of tall, ineffective quarterbacks like Brock Osweiler and Paxton Lynch, the Broncos have somehow landed on Joe Flacco as the answer.
Big CatJohn Elway is officially canceled as a GM
John Elway has been canceled. He is obsessed with height. Height is not everything. He has traded for Joe Flacco... John Elway will not hear of anything unless you are a tall, rocket arm quarterback. And guess what? He's been canceled... He cannot find a quarterback.
The move to bring in Flacco feels like a time warp. While Elway clearly thinks he can replicate the Peyton Manning years by bringing in a veteran with a "rocket arm," the reality is far bleaker. Big Cat even noted that Paxton Lynch might be the most forgettable first-round bust of the modern era because he was so unremarkable he barely registered on the field.
Big CatPaxton Lynch is the most unremarkable first-round quarterback of the last 25 years
Paxton Lynch, I'm going to say it right now, is the most unremarkable first-round quarterback that has ever been drafted in the past 25 years... No one even knows if Paxton Lynch is good or not because he only played four games... a guy that you will soon just forget even existed.
PFT isn't exactly sold on Flacco's greatness either, suggesting that we are about to find out if Flacco was ever actually good or just the beneficiary of a stable environment in Baltimore.
PFT CommenterJoe Flacco is just a product of the Baltimore offensive system
This is the year where we find out if Joe Flacco is good or if he's just a product of that awesome Baltimore offensive system that's been so good throughout the years.
Kyle Van Noy in Studio
Fresh off his second Super Bowl ring, Kyle Van Noy joined the show to give us the defensive perspective on how the Patriots dismantled the Rams. The biggest revelation? The Rams didn't change a single thing. Kyle Van Noy expressed genuine disbelief that Sean McVay's high-powered offense showed up to the biggest game of the year without a single new wrinkle to throw off the defense.
Kyle Van NoyThe Rams didn't add a single wrinkle to their offense for the Super Bowl
I couldn't believe that either. They really didn't do not one wrinkle... They got so many good players. They got so many things they've done all year. And the one play they gave us, which was a wrinkle, was the Brandin Cooks screen that hit for a little bit. And that was it.
Kyle Van Noy also went to bat for Cody Parkey, which didn't exactly sit well with Big Cat. While Kyle Van Noy argued that a kicker shouldn't be judged by one bad year, the guys were more focused on the fact that Parkey did a media tour immediately after losing the game for Chicago.
Kyle Van NoyCody Parkey is still a good kicker and the Bears should have kept him.
I know there's a lot of haters to Cody Parkey, but I still think he's a good kicker... I think they should reset. Keep him around... Can't have a bad year? Look at the totality of his career. He's a good kicker.
We also had to address the elephant in the room: Max Kellerman. Big Cat argued that by even acknowledging Kellerman’s "cliff" takes, the Patriots let him win the Super Bowl by giving him the relevance he craves.
Big CatMax Kellerman won the Super Bowl because the Patriots validated him by acknowledging his takes.
Max Kellerman won the Super Bowl more than anyone else... he owned all of you... Because he is outlandish. He's hot take-ish. He said Tom Brady was old... you guys played into his hands and you went on his show... That is literally his dream... his dream is that the Patriots then come and answer to him.
The Duke Intervention and Hank's New Pet
PFT decided it was time to take away Hank's Duke fandom. The logic is simple: you can't be a Patriots, Red Sox, Bruins, and Duke fan. It's too much winning for one person to handle without some kind of stakes. This led to a high-stakes negotiation involving Zion Williamson and the NCAA tournament.
HankIf Duke doesn't reach the Sweet 16, I will buy and keep a cat
Sweet 16, you got a deal... So if Trey Jones is injured, they'll still get to the Sweet 16... No, you guys definitely fucking planned this before the show... I'm so confident in Duke that it doesn't matter.
Hank eventually caved. If Duke fails to make the Sweet 16, Hank has to buy a cat. Big Cat and PFT are already planning the naming ceremony for "Hank's Pussy," and the energy in the room suggests the guys are rooting for a massive upset just to see Hank dealing with a litter box. Speaking of Zion, PFT had some advice for the young star following his shoe blowout.
PFT CommenterZion Williamson should sit out the rest of the college season to save himself for the NBA.
I think Zion Williamson should sit out the rest of the year and save himself for the NBA. Honestly, though, seriously, all jokes aside, if he blows out a knee or something like that, he probably won't be a top five pick anymore.
NBA All-Star and Rapid Fire
The NBA All-Star game is this weekend, and Big Cat thinks the dunk contest needs a serious facelift. Instead of watching role players miss three dunks in a row, he’s proposing a contest for the legends.
Big CatThe NBA should add an 'oldest guy who can still dunk' contest to All-Star Weekend.
We should, to make the dunk contest better, before the dunk contest, they should do a contest, oldest guy that can dunk. So oldest NBA player that can still dunk.
We wrapped up with some PR 101 for the Westminster Dog Show controversy and a plea for Kirk Cousins to stop posting on social media because the Vikings fans in his mentions have completely lost their minds.
Hank, start looking at scratching posts.
