PMT DB
PMT DB
Alex Caruso on the NBA Bubble, Stefon Diggs Traded, and Tiger’s Masters Strategy
The vibes are high as we gear up for the Final Four in Phoenix, but the NCAA is already trying to play head games with UConn. The Huskies were delayed on the tarmac for hours, finally landing in Arizona at 4:00 AM. While some might worry about the lack of sleep, PFT thinks there might be a more calculated reason behind the travel nightmare.
PFT CommenterDanny Hurley likely delayed UConn's flight on purpose to create motivation
It wouldn't shock me if Danny Hurley actually, oh, delayed that flight. Oh. yeah. False flag. So therefore he could complain about this. They, but whatever it is, they've got motivation.
The A's, Sacramento, and Baldness
The Oakland Athletics officially announced they’re moving to a minor league park in Sacramento for three years before heading to Las Vegas. It’s a total clusterfuck, and Big Cat isn't holding back on Kings owner Vivek Ranadivé for facilitating the move.
Big CatVivek Ranadivé is a hypocrite for helping the A's move to Sacramento after buying the Kings specifically to prevent them from being relocated.
Vivec, the owner of the Kings total scumbag as well, because he bought the Kings to keep the kings in Sacramento, which was admirable move. And now he's just basically laundering The A's for them... He also had a quote, Vivek, 'When I bought the Kings, I said that Sacramento would never play second fiddle to any other city.' That makes no sense. You're literally playing second fiddle to Las Vegas... total bullshit.
Then there’s John Fisher. The guy is a certified loser who managed to alienate an entire city while wearing a suit that looks like it came from a middle school clearance rack. Big Cat is so disgusted by Fisher’s cowardice and lack of follicles that he’s making a formal financial offer.
Big CatI will pay for John Fisher's hair restoration if he appears on the podcast
John Fisher because you're a bald fuck. Big Cat will pay for your hair restoration for one appearance on Pardon My Take. Because he is bald. Take it. You bald bitch.
Stefon Diggs and Tiger’s Celibacy
Stefon Diggs is officially a Houston Texan, and the guys are loving the move for CJ Stroud. It’s a rare moment where a team actually takes advantage of a rookie quarterback contract instead of just sitting on their hands. Big Cat thinks the Texans are the clear winners here.
Big CatTrading Stefon Diggs is a genius move for the Houston Texans
I do love this move for the Texans. I think it's a genius move for the Texans. They are basically going all in under CJ Stroud's rookie contract. This is what a team should do. Yeah. Like if you're a Texans fans, you should be really pumped.
As for Buffalo, it’s a tough pill to swallow. They’re essentially admitting the "all-in" window with that specific core has closed. However, as long as number 17 is under center, the sky isn't completely falling in Western New York.
Big CatThe Buffalo Bills are forced into a hard reset but will be fine as long as they have Josh Allen
The bills should be criticized for going all in with this older team that wasn't able to win a Super Bowl. But now this is the reality. They have to, they have to hit their hard reset... But that's just the reality of it. And even still, if you're a Bills fan, as doom and gloom as it might seem to trade Stefon Diggs, you have Josh Allen and if you draft well you'll still have a shot.
In golf news, Tiger Woods is reportedly swearing off sex to focus on the Masters. PFT is skeptical of the strategy, noting that the "dirtier" version of Tiger—the one winning majors while the grip of his putter smelled like a Perkins waitress—was the superior version.
PFT CommenterTiger Woods was better at golf when he was 'dirtier' and having more sex
Tiger was at his best when... the grip of his putter smelled like absolute shit from his hands. Perkins waitresses. The dirtier Tiger was the better golf. Yeah. When he was getting it in the hole. Now he's gonna not do, maybe he just can't have sex 'cause he like, he can't walk.
Alex Caruso in Studio
Chicago Bulls guard and friend of the program Alex Caruso joined us in the office to talk about his journey from the G-League to becoming a championship-winning asset. We had to address the elephant in the room immediately: does the 2020 Bubble title actually count? Caruso wasn't letting the "Mickey Mouse" talk slide.
Alex CarusoThe NBA Bubble Championship is a legitimate title that requires winning difficult games
Gotta still play. The games gotta still show up and win the game. So I mean, there's something to play for, you know, like the NCAA tournament. Yeah. You know, I mean, it happened... I would say just for the, just for like the, like all the extra stuff that comes with it. Right. You know, like being able to celebrate with fans afterwards, being able to have a parade... it would've been different having 16,000 people.
Caruso gave some incredible insight into what it’s like guarding the monsters of the NBA. He’s a guy who loves the mental game of defense, even if it means getting under the skin of some of the league's biggest stars. He also took a moment to advocate for his former teammate Anthony Davis, who he feels got snubbed for some hardware during their title run.
Alex CarusoAnthony Davis should have won the 2020 Defensive Player of the Year award over Giannis Antetokounmpo.
He [Anthony Davis] should have won DPOY that year. I think they gave it to Giannis and he gave him MVP too. But like, literally that was our defense. Like we would just be super aggressive. And then when AD got on somebody, it's like, just let him guard him.
We also touched on the massive talent gap between the NBA and college. Caruso mentioned seeing JaVale McGee and Dwight Howard go shot-for-shot from deep in practice, which led to a discussion about just how many NBA players could single-handedly carry a 16-seed to a title. Caruso’s number was surprisingly high.
Alex CarusoApproximately 27 to 30 NBA players could lead a 16-seed to a National Championship
I was gonna go like triple. Way more triple, triple that maybe. 30, maybe 40... guys in the NBA are so good, man. Yeah, yeah. Like you gotta automatically think bigs have an advantage 'cause it's college. So like the big is back, right? Yeah... We'll go with this. 27. 27.
He also had a reality check for any regular Joe who thinks they could hold their own on an NBA court for just a few minutes. If you think you're snagging five boards against elite athletes, Caruso has some bad news for your ego.
Alex CarusoThe average person has zero chance of recording five rebounds in an NBA game, even if offered $10 million to do so.
You could give you $10 million right now... or you had to go get like five rebounds in the NBA game for like $10 million. And people are like, I think I could do it. You couldn't, bro... I'm six five and somewhat athletic and like pretty heady... I average like three and a half rebounds at night... you're not getting five.
Fyre Fest and Final Four Picks
Hank is stressed out because he’s being accused of only having one idea—mini golf—and he’s currently being blocked from practicing on the very course he had built in the office. Meanwhile, PFT is grappling with the fact that he may have birthed a political monster by encouraging Billy Football to run for Congress.
PFT CommenterBilly Football is a legitimate candidate for Congress and is taking it seriously
I regret to inform you Billy football is a hundred percent legitimately running for this seat. And my fire Fest is that I feel like Oppenheimer, that by, by putting this into motion, I've affected the course of the United States for the foreseeable future.
As for the Final Four, Hank is going all-in on the DJ Burns magic, while Big Cat remains terrified of what UConn might do to the rest of the field if they even play a mediocre game.
Big CatUConn only needs to play a 'C-minus' game to beat most teams
UConn is just a kind of a, there's levels and they're just at a different level right now if they come out and play. Like UConn would have to play what a c minus game to give Alabama a chance. Like if I think of, if UConn plays a B game, they beat everyone.
May we all find a way to poop in the dark and find our inner peace this weekend.
