PMT DB
PMT DB
Justin Pugh and Marshall Newhouse on Eli Manning Farts and Wawa vs. Sheetz
Week 3 of the NFL is officially in the books, and the vibes are at an all-time high despite the cast playing through some serious injuries. PFT Commenter is walking with a limp after a mysterious pedestrian accident, and Big Cat is fresh off a 13-hour football bender that resulted in him accidentally ruining his own couch. The biggest takeaway from the weekend? Big Cat’s beloved Chicago Bears have officially hit rock bottom.
Big CatThe Chicago Bears are the worst team in the NFL
The Bears are the worst team in the NFL... No, they are. I said that. It was a definitive statement I said.
While the Bears look like they’ve given up on life, PFT Commenter isn’t ready to throw in the towel on his favorite Florida team just yet, even if they are currently a disaster.
PFT CommenterI'm still holding out hope for the Jaguars to turn their season around
I don't want to say the Jaguars [are the worst team] because I'm still jagging off. I'm still holding out hope for the Jags to turn things around.
The Battle of Wensylvania and Defensive Dominance
The conversation turned to the trade that defined the early season: Sam Bradford to the Vikings. While many laughed at the price tag, both the Vikings and Eagles are currently sitting at 3-0, making everyone look like a genius for now.
Big CatThe Sam Bradford trade was a win for both the Vikings and the Eagles
I was the biggest winner because I said that it was a great trade for the Vikings and a great trade for the Eagles because the Eagles can now start Carson Wentz, who I believed in, and the Vikings now have Sam Bradford as a higher ceiling than whoever they were going to start.
Big Cat is especially high on the Minnesota defense, which has spent the first few weeks of the season making elite quarterbacks look like they've never played the position before.
Big CatThe Vikings have the best defense in the NFL
But seriously, though, the Vikings look awesome. Their defense, I mean, best defense in the league. Probably.
PFT Commenter remains skeptical of Bradford’s longevity, predicting a very specific and fashion-related injury for the Vikings' new signal-caller later this season.
PFT CommenterSam Bradford will eventually trip over his own sleeves and dislocate his shoulder
[Sam Bradford] is going to trip over his sleeves at some point and dislocate his shoulder, and then that'll be all she wrote.
Giants Trench Talk with Justin Pugh and Marshall Newhouse
Giants offensive linemen Justin Pugh and Marshall Newhouse joined the show to discuss life in the trenches, the transition from Tom Coughlin to Ben McAdoo, and the essential differences between gas station food staples. Justin Pugh, a Philly native, wasted no time defending his roots in the great Wawa vs. Sheetz debate.
Justin PughWawa is significantly better than Sheetz
I prefer Wawa over Sheetz, but I'm not knocking Sheetz at all... Wawa is just a part of me. So when you go there and you eat it, it just tastes right.
Marshall Newhouse, who has protected some of the biggest names in the sport, gave us the definitive ranking of quarterback humor. Apparently, the quiet guy from the Manning family is actually the one you have to watch out for in the meeting room.
Marshall NewhouseEli Manning is the funniest quarterback I've played for, followed by Aaron Rodgers and Andy Dalton
Eli is funny. He's sneaky funny. Aaron [Rodgers] is two. Andy [Dalton] is three... Eli is the kind of guy... he'll kind of crop dust you or just like drive by fart you and then just walk away.
Marshall also took a moment to address his time in Cincinnati, specifically taking a blowtorch to the local culinary "delicacy" known as Skyline Chili.
Marshall NewhouseSkyline Chili is garbage
Cincinnati Bengals, Skyline Chili. Garbage. Yes. Thank you. It's the worst... I asked people in Cincinnati, what's the deal with the skyline? ... It's greasy drunk food.
During the interview, Justin Pugh actually called Eli Manning live on the air. Eli confirmed he knows about Barstool and gave a very definitive answer regarding his brother Peyton’s potential interest in joining the Patriots to fill in for a suspended Tom Brady.
Eli ManningPeyton Manning will not sign with the New England Patriots
Hard no. [Peyton Manning signing with the Patriots is a] hard no.
Stay Woke and Global Peace
In a world-first, the guys discussed how FIFA managed to solve one of humanity's greatest problems just in time for the World Cup in Russia. PFT Commenter was quick to give credit where credit is due.
PFT CommenterRacism is officially over because FIFA disbanded their task force
Racism's over. FIFA, they disbanded their racism task force ahead of the World Cup in Russia because they said the mission was completely fulfilled. So FIFA, of all people, ended racism.
To wrap things up, Big Cat went down a rabbit hole regarding the viral clip of a female intern at Auburn taking a kickoff directly to the face. While the rest of the world saw a hilarious accident, Big Cat saw a conspiracy.
Big CatThe Auburn girl getting hit in the face by a football was a staged video
I think it was planned. Obviously, she still got the ball off her face, but there's a second video of someone videotaping her behind her. That seems too convenient... I said in the text, I was like, I don't know how, but I know.
The episode ended on a somber but historic note as the guys broke the news of Arnold Palmer’s passing in real-time. It’s not every day you get a live journalism degree moment on a comedy podcast.
Go drink an Arnold Palmer and pray for the Bears' offensive line.
