PMT DB
PMT DB
Julian Edelman on Super Bowl Predictions, NFL Week 1, and Fantasy Fuccbois
Football is officially back, and Julian Edelman made his triumphant return to the studio just in time to recap a dominant Buffalo Bills performance on Thursday night. The Queen may have passed away, but the show must go on, even if it means Julian Edelman had to endure three minutes of uncomfortable royal family talk before getting to the gridiron.
Julian Edelman Breaks Down the Bills and Patriots
Julian Edelman was immediately impressed by Josh Allen and the Bills, noting that Allen looked miles ahead of Matt Stafford. While Stafford and the Rams looked like they could have used a few more snaps in August, Allen looked like a man who hadn't missed a beat.
Julian EdelmanJosh Allen is better prepared than other QBs because he actually plays in the preseason
The bills played in the preseason... you saw Josh Allen go out and lead his team to touchdown drives every time he was out there, he looked very comfortable. Comfortable game looks slowed him. And that's because he is prepared.
The conversation turned to the AFC West, where Julian Edelman isn't necessarily riding with the chalk. While everyone is crowning the Chiefs or Chargers, he’s looking toward Las Vegas and the reunion of Derek Carr and Davante Adams under Josh McDaniels.
Julian EdelmanThe Raiders will win the AFC West
Raiders are winning the AFC West. I'm a believer in the ecosystem that they have over there. I think Derek Carr is, I think he's a good football player. Last year they showed a lot of mental toughness... with McDaniels and Devante Adams going over there... they were smooth.
As a Patriots legend, Julian Edelman also gave his honest take on the current state of things in Foxborough. With Matt Patricia and Joe Judge taking the reins of the offense, there are plenty of questions about how Mac Jones will adapt to a new system after a shaky preseason.
Julian EdelmanThe Patriots' offense will have a learning curve with Matt Patricia and Joe Judge calling plays
This is gonna be a learning experience. Calling plays on the offense side of the ball is, is very different... the rhythm of play calling and the relationship between the quarterback and play call is a fucking, that's like a skill... it hasn't looked very good in the pre-season I'm not gonna lie. [Mac Jones] just doesn't look comfortable back there.
Before heading out, Julian Edelman gave his picks for the divisional winners and the Big Game. He’s high on Kevin O'Connell's arrival in Minnesota and expects a massive year from Justin Jefferson.
Julian EdelmanThe Vikings will win the NFC North
I like Minnesota winning the north. Kevin O'Connell... always a smart guy, always knew Xs and Os. I like, I like, I liked them. I think Jefferson is, is outrageous. Outrageous.
As for the defending champs, Julian Edelman is officially on "Super Bowl Hangover" watch. He wasn't a fan of what he saw from Stafford's elbow, describing the throwing motion as "jelly" and worrying about the long-term health of that arm.
Julian EdelmanThe Rams will struggle this year; the Super Bowl hangover is real
I think the Rams are gonna struggle. I think, I think the hangover's real. And something's up with Stafford's elbow. The elbow did not—that doesn't look good. It looks jelly.
Ultimately, Julian Edelman is all-in on a collision course between two legendary franchises for the Lombardi Trophy, with the Bills finally getting over the hump.
Julian EdelmanThe Bills will win the Super Bowl over the Buccaneers
Bills versus the Bucks, but the Bills are gonna win. Bills are winning it... If they stay healthy, they're gonna be a problem.
Week 1 Picks and the Punishment Debate
With Julian Edelman out of the studio, Big Cat and PFT Commenter turned their attention to the Week 1 slate and the highly anticipated picks competition. Before making their selections, they had to address the elephant in the room: what is the 2022 punishment? Big Cat came out of the gate with a torturous suggestion involving the NBA's all-time scoring leader.
Big CatThe 2022 picks punishment should be the loser having to beat Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's all-time scoring record
Loser has to beat Kareem's all time point record. So we just put 'em in a gym and they have to score 38,388 points... You can't, you can't shoot in the paint. Oh fuck. So you can't take layups and the second place person has to rebound.
PFT Commenter pushed back on the basketball idea, initially vetoing a marathon but eventually warming up to a half-marathon after realizing how much the other options sucked.
PFT CommenterThe 2022 picks punishment should be the loser has to complete a half marathon with no training
I might retract my veto on the marathon because it's not as bad as some of the other ones. Right? And I think it would be pretty funny to have to go to the Super Bowl and run a marathon with no training... [I am] now bowling kind of endorsing it.
When it came to the actual games, PFT Commenter wasted no time firing shots at the G-Men. He’s taking the Titans to handle business at home against a Giants team he has zero faith in.
PFT CommenterThe Giants are 'big stinky poop' and will lose to the Titans
Titans minus five and a half at home against the Giants. I think the Giants are big stinky poop... I think that the Titans, we have a bad taste in their mouth from them from last year in the playoffs... Ryan Tannehill is good enough to beat the Giants who I think are gonna be very bad this year by six points at home.
Big Cat is looking toward the biggest storyline of the weekend: Russell Wilson's return to Seattle. He expects Russ to show out in his Broncos debut, looking to prove a point to Pete Carroll and the 12th Man.
Big CatThe Broncos will cover -6.5 against the Seahawks in Russell Wilson's revenge game
My favorite is the Broncos minus six and a half Monday night football. I just, I feel like Russ is gonna, like, I know that obviously every game he tries, but I, this is gonna be a game that he's like, Hey Nathaniel Hackett, like, can you please showcase me throwing it deep constantly to prove what they're missing.
Meanwhile, Jake Marsh is backing Baker Mayfield in his own revenge game against the Browns. The narrative is simply too strong to ignore, and Big Cat agreed that Baker is the ultimate "grudge" bettor.
Jake MarshBaker Mayfield is ready to beat the Browns in a revenge game
Mine is also a revenge game. It is Carolina minus one and a half against the Browns. Baker is ready. We all know Baker, so we don't know what to expect... Baker is the one guy that I will probably always bet on in a revenge game because he does take it way more seriously.
Hank is riding with the Bears as a touchdown underdog at home, believing the 49ers' quarterback situation with Trey Lance and Jimmy Garoppolo is a recipe for a close game.
HankThe Bears will be frisky and cover +7 against the 49ers
I'm just gonna take the biggest [underdog]. The Bears. Seven points week one is a lot... There's a lot of turmoil in San Francisco. Trey Lance, Jimmy G you don't know what's going on... Seven points is the lot in the NFL.
To wrap up the picks, Big Cat reminded everyone of his golden rule: you simply do not bet against the Arizona Cardinals in the first month of the season.
Big CatThe Cardinals are a must-bet in the month of September
I'm gonna change my underdog to the Cardinals. Cause I did tell you all off season. I have to bet the Cardinals in September... I have the reminder again today. So I'm gonna in that game, we didn't talk about Cardinal's Chiefs is gonna be a very fun afternoon game.
Fyre Fest of the Week
Fyre Fest took a dark turn this week when Billy Football revealed a medical situation that might change his life forever. After a trip to the woods, Billy discovered he was the victim of a lone star tick attack, which could lead to a permanent lifestyle change he never asked for.
Billy FootballI may be allergic to red meat and dairy for the rest of my life due to a lone star tick bite
Turns out I must have stepped on a lone star tick nest... and I got bitten by a bunch of lone star tick larva... which the good news is the larva don't transmit Lyme's... but they can give you an Alpha-gal allergy. That means that Alpha-gal is in all red meat and dairy and I, I might be allergic to red meat and dairy for the rest of my life. I had to go vegan for a month before I get the test... I contracted veganism.
Whether it's PFT Commenter struggling through nicotine withdrawal or Jake Marsh realizing he can no longer handle the G-force of a roller coaster, the guys are entering the season in various states of physical decay.
Hopefully, the Bears' defense provides more joy than a kale salad.
