Pardon My Take - It's Saturday Lets Get Weird - Blake Bortles

Quarterbacks should throw to the side of the field farthest from the lake in Cleveland to avoid lake-effect snow

One thing that jumped off the page at me was the part about lake effect snow... that's why it snows so much in the Cleveland Browns Stadium. So as something that you can take away and practice from this, when you play up in Cleveland, throw the football to the side of the field that's farthest away from the lake to avoid the snow as much as possible.

The Wikipedia author for 'Snow' was lazy for omitting God from the entry

They didn't talk about God at all in the snow entry. And it's like, why are you going to leave out the main protagonist in your writing? I thought that the author was kind of lazy in leaving that part out.

It is a myth that no two snowflakes are the same

It's actually not true that no two snowflakes are the same. Did you guys know that? I did not know that... But in 1988, a scientist found two identical snow crystals that came from the same storm in Wisconsin.

The viral Jaguars 'lady' fan should be given sideline passes and locker room access

I mean, she needs to be, like, sideline pass minimum, possibly in the locker room. [Big Cat: If you want to win some nice internet PR, go viral, let's get Jacksonville Jaguars lady some season tickets on Blake Bortles.]

Teams playing in Seattle should use snow machines to drown out the crowd noise

I also learned that snow is a sound absorber. So like if you ever have a game up in Seattle, I don't know if you can like rent a snow machine, but to kind of drown out the crowd noise a little bit, maybe you could just like drop a bunch of snow on them.

Snow can be used to put out fires because it is technically water

I mean, I feel like scientifically it's got to [put out a fire], right? Because it's technically water. I read the first paragraph. And it said form of water, so I figured it took some pretty deep thinking.

Igloos can be over 100 degrees warmer on the inside than the outside

Igloos can be more than 100 degrees warmer inside than outside. Wow. That is impressive. That's just a wow moment that you need to let sink in for a second.

Alabama's football team could potentially beat a professional NFL team

Doesn't that say that maybe after all, like an Alabama football team could beat some professional football teams? [Blake Bortles: Yeah, I mean, I guess it's kind of like the miracle on ice back in the day... I guess there's always a possibility.]

The team's kicker would be the best choice for a coxswain role

Personality-wise, a long snapper would be perfect for [coxswain], but... long snappers usually aren't that small, so I'd probably say it'd have to be our kicker.

I am a negative John Thomas sign candidate

I just want you guys to know that I'm actually a negative John Thomas sign candidate... [PFT: So your penis points away from your injuries.] That's correct.

Forty percent of women experience pattern baldness

Hey, but also, small spoiler, 40% of women experience it... male pattern baldness... [Big Cat: It would be female pattern baldness.]