PMT DB
PMT DB
Playoff Madness, Lebron Jealous of AD's Injury, and the Leafs Choke Again
It’s a classic Tuesday show where Big Cat, PFT, and Hank are riding the high of a massive sports weekend. We’re raw-dogging the recap today because there is simply too much show to fit into a regular episode. From the NBA playoffs heating up to the Toronto Maple Leafs finding a way to reach a new rock bottom, it’s a packed house.
Fan Behavior and Playoff Intensity
The episode kicks off with a massive disavowal. Big Cat wants it on the record that he is officially against fans throwing popcorn, spitting, or launching water bottles at players. While the media is having a field day with it, Big Cat thinks it’s more of a "preseason" issue for humans returning to society.
Big CatThe pandemic has caused fans to lose their minds and forget how to behave in arenas
I do think the pandemic has fucked people up more than we realize. And people are just getting back into the real world and losing their fucking minds. Preseason. Yes, preseason. No one knows how to act right now. Give it a couple weeks. I do not think it's some huge epidemic where this is going to be the new norm that fans are just fucking with players constantly.
PFT is already looking ahead to how the talking heads will spin this, predicting that the "no fans was better" articles are being drafted as we speak.
PFT CommenterThe media will soon claim that sports were better without fans in the building
I'm going to level it up. I'm going to say by the time you're hearing my voice, if it's in the afternoon tomorrow... somebody will have already written the take that sports were better when there were no fans in the building.
Moving to the actual games, the Nets are looking like an absolute wagon. Hank is officially throwing in the towel for his Celtics after they watched Kevin Durant and James Harden turn into a cheat code. Even a 50-point game from Jayson Tatum wasn't enough to make this a series.
HankThe Celtics will not win another game in their series against the Nets
[Jason Tatum] had 50, right? Yeah, that's fine... The starting lineup, it's one of those things where it doesn't matter. You could play those starting two lineups 100 times and the Celtics might win one. [Big Cat: 'Can we call it over?'] 100%. It's over.
The East and West Rundown
In Philadelphia, the vibes are shaky despite the series lead. Joel Embiid went down with what was called a knee injury, but Big Cat isn't buying the official report. He’s seen this movie before and thinks the Sixers' big man is dealing with something more structural in his back.
Big CatJoel Embiid didn't hurt his knee; he actually hurt his back or tailbone
I don't think [Joel Embiid] hurt his knee. I think he hurt his ass slash back. He grabbed his back. He fell on his back. His back has been bothering him all year. He grabbed his back, but he also grabbed the back of his leg. This is Drew Brees' ribs all over again. Joel Embiid's back is hurt.
Over in New York, the Knicks' magical run is hitting the Thibodeau wall. Big Cat explains that while Thibs is great for the regular season, his tendency to redline his players' minutes means they have nothing left when the playoffs actually arrive.
Big CatTom Thibodeau's coaching style prevents teams from having an extra gear in the playoffs
Tom Thibodeau is a fantastic coach, and he will always get your team to overachieve and play to their max ability during the regular season. And then when you get to the postseason, there's no extra gear... he also played Julius Randle the most minutes of anyone in the NBA this year. It's always going to go like this when you do that with your star player who can't figure out a double team.
Out West, the Suns and Lakers are locked in a dogfight. With Anthony Davis hobbled, the guys are looking for a massive response from the King. Big Cat is calling for a stat line that would make Nick Wright weep on national television.
Big CatI'm predicting a vintage, dominant LeBron James performance in Game 5 against the Suns
I think we're going to get like a vintage, vintage LeBron just every single way... 38 [points], 12 [rebounds], 8 [assists]. It's going to be one of those stat lines where Nick Wright will be like, 'no player since Michael Jordan has ever done this in the playoffs.'
And then there’s Luka. While the world marveled at him, PFT was busy doing some amateur detective work regarding the birth certificate of the Mavericks' superstar.
PFT CommenterLuka Doncic is actually several years older than the Mavericks claim
I think Luka's older than we think he is... I think it's a Danny Almonte, Alfonso Soriano thing. I don't think Luka's 22 years old. I think Luka's probably 27, 28 years old. If you're a player that's not born in the United States and you come over, there's a lot of paperwork that can get either lost or changed very easily.
The Maple Leafs' Annual Tradition
We brought back #BigMad for the Toronto Maple Leafs, and boy, did the fans deliver. The Leafs blew a 3-1 series lead to the Canadiens, culminating in a Game 7 performance that can only be described as a wet fart. Big Cat argues that the manner in which they lost—a complete no-show—is the most painful possible way for a fan to suffer.
Big CatA no-show in a Game 7 is a worse way to lose than a late-game collapse
There's actually nothing worse than a no-show in game seven. Like, losing in game seven... I know that that's bad in 2013 when they lost the way they lost. I would contend that a no-show the way they lost tonight [Game 7 vs Canadiens] where you get a fucking goal with 30 seconds left to just have something on the score sheet, that hurts so much worse.
It’s getting so bad in Toronto that the guys are starting to look for historical comparisons. Big Cat thinks there is a path for America's Team to join the Leafs in the Hall of Perpetual Sadness if things don't change soon.
Big CatIf the Cowboys don't win a Super Bowl in the next 20 years, they will become the NFL's version of the Toronto Maple Leafs
The Cowboys, I think, have the element of... They're one of the teams that you think of when you think of football. The Leafs are one of the teams you think of when you think of hockey. They have historical relevance, but it's all in the past... If the Cowboys, if we're sitting here 2045 and the Cowboys haven't gone back to a Super Bowl, they would be the Maple Leafs.
Who's Back and Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Urban Meyer is back for being in an AEW wrestling promo where he handed a wrestler a laptop to smash over someone's head. Hank has a theory that this whole Jacksonville era is just a giant PR shield involving a certain former Heisman winner.
HankTim Tebow was signed by Urban Meyer purely to act as a heat shield for Trevor Lawrence
I'm also just a huge fan of the narrative that [Urban Meyer] brought in Tebow just to take off heat off Trevor Lawrence... Tebow is just going to be too much of a natural leader and take all the heat, including from the players, off Trevor Lawrence.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured Big Cat once again defending his ability to fight the animal kingdom. After a video of a jacked kangaroo went viral, Big Cat remains unimpressed by its lack of a ground game.
Big CatI can beat any animal in a fight by snapping its windpipe
Show me an animal. I'll find its windpipe. I'll snap it in half... The kangaroo was a bitch. He was a spaz. He was just losing his mind. I put that thing in a fucking headlock and he's not going anywhere.
To wrap up the show, we got a viral update on Jake Marsh—who may or may not be the face of a mansplaining meme—and a Monday Reading about a husband who refuses to take his mask off for anything, even when things get intimate.
Hopefully, Aaron Rodgers gets traded before the next show just so Big Cat can finally stop predicting it every five minutes.
Big CatThis is the week Aaron Rodgers finally gets traded by the Packers
I'm going to do this every week until it comes true. I'm going to predict that this is the week that Aaron Rodgers gets traded. Okay. So, and if it doesn't happen this week, I will do it next week and give me credit when that happens.
