PMT DB
PMT DB
Robert Klemko and EDP on Week 2, Andrew Luck Bust Potential, and the Von Miller Support Group
NFL Week 2 is in the books, and the vibes are already getting weird. Big Cat and PFT Commenter opened the show with a classic fastest three minutes, featuring plenty of Berman-style 'whoops' and some questionable geographical puns about the 'NFC West Bank.' While the Rams managed to win a football game without scoring a touchdown for the 22nd straight year in LA, the real story was the absolute dismantling of the Indianapolis Colts by the Denver Broncos defense.
Big Cat has officially reached his breaking point with a certain Stanford graduate. Between the pick-sixes and the fumble-sixes, his patience—and his bank account—have seen enough.
Big CatIt's time to ask if Andrew Luck is a bust
Is it time to ask, is Andrew Luck a bust? Andrew Luck has caused me so many gambling woes, and the latest one this week where he was just throwing the game away... I can't really tell you anything from [the weekend] except that I hate Andrew Luck. Like, that's my biggest takeaway.
On the other side of that game, the praise for Von Miller reached a fever pitch. PFT and Big Cat agreed that we aren't just looking at the best player in the league right now, but potentially the greatest to ever do it on the defensive side of the ball.
PFT CommenterVon Miller is the best defensive player in NFL history
Best defensive player in the league ever. It's not even close. There's no one even who can touch him, not in the same stratosphere, not any Houston Texans, no one. It's Von Miller and then a bunch of random guys. Bunch of losers.
Robert Klemko and the Von Miller Victim Support Group
Robert Klemko from Sports Illustrated joined the show fresh off being on the sidelines for that Colts-Broncos beatdown. He provided some incredible insight into the life of Peter King, including the fact that the MMQB boss apparently texts out his Central Park mile times like a man possessed.
Klemko also shared a heartbreaking observation from the locker room: the creation of a 'Von Miller Support Group' for right tackles who have had their souls snatched on national television. When looking at the rest of the league, Klemko wasn't exactly high on the prospects of the 0-2 Redskins making a comeback.
Robert KlemkoWashington doesn't have a chance to right the ship and make the playoffs
I think [the Redskins] don't have a chance just because I think the division got that much better.
Before letting him go, the guys had to ask the hard-hitting questions, specifically regarding fruit hygiene. It turns out Klemko is a high-volume apple eater with a very specific set of rules for where and when he’ll apply a rinse.
Robert KlemkoYou don't need to wash apples from a grocery store
I feel like there's a little bit more class in the apple handling department at a grocery store... [Gas station apples] I don't even want to touch the key to get into the bathroom to use the sink... I don't wash [grocery store apples].
EDP Previews MNF and the Streets of Bakersfield
To preview the Bears-Eagles Monday Night matchup, the guys called up Eagles superfan EDP. In an interview that can only be described as chaotic, EDP gave a scouting report on Carson Wentz and explained his unique method for dealing with Twitter trolls—which involves a very specific folder on his computer.
Despite his love for the Birds, EDP wasn't feeling particularly optimistic about the trip to Soldier Field, citing the 'streets of Bakersfield' as his primary source for a disappointing score prediction.
EDPThe Bears will beat the Eagles 24-20 on Monday Night Football
If I had to give you my score prediction, I would say Bears win 24-20. That's what the streets in Bakersfield are saying.
Segments: He Said What Now?, PR 101, and Hmmm
In a new segment called 'He Said What Now?', the guys reacted to Boomer Esiason suggesting the Patriots should sign Peyton Manning to fill in for the injured Jimmy Garoppolo. PFT, however, had a much more 'realistic' veteran in mind for Bill Belichick.
PFT CommenterBill Belichick would actually sign Jeff Garcia off the street
Realistically, you guys are thinking I'm joking about this. Jeff Garcia. If you don't think that Belichick would actually sign Jeff Garcia, you're an idiot because he would. He has been looking at Garcia's number in his phone and just staring at it almost pressing call for the last two hours.
During PR 101, Big Cat broke down Brian Kelly’s masterful strategy of blaming social media mishaps on 'multiple interns.' It’s a classic move that ensures the head coach never has to take accountability for liking tweets calling for his defensive coordinator's head.
Big CatCharitable foundations are the best PR tool for shielding coaches from social media scandals
If you are trying to get out of your Twitter problems, either have the foundation... and just tweet from that. ... Foundations have never done anything wrong.
Finally, the show wrapped up with a very suspicious 'Hmm' regarding the injury bug hitting players who chose to kneel during the anthem. PFT pointed out a certain correlation that might suggest the Big Man upstairs has a specific rooting interest.
PFT CommenterArian Foster's groin injury is a result of kneeling for the national anthem
Couldn't help but notice that Arian Foster kneeled for the national anthem... and he injured his groin severely today. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Just saying. It's kind of interesting. Little God. I mean, God is American.
To top it all off, Big Cat provided a Spin Zone for everyone currently underwater with their bookies: if the world ends next week via meteor, you technically never have to pay.
Don't forget to wash your gas station apples and say goodnight to the bad guy.
