PMT DB
PMT DB
Sam Darnold on San Francisco, the Vegas Sphere, and Mt. Rushmore of Pisses
The boys are back from the Fourth of July break, and there was only one place to start: the absolute heroics of Joey Chestnut. Despite a weather delay that threatened to cancel the entire event, the gluttonous king walked out of that tunnel with the focus of a man ready to go to war. Big Cat isn't even being hyperbolic when he says Joey saved the holiday for the entire nation.
Big CatJoey Chestnut is the greatest American of all time and saved the 4th of July
Joey Chestnut being the greatest American of all time and saving, literally saving the 4th of July for America. ... if we did a new Mount Rushmore of Greatest Americans of all time, it's Joey Chestnut [and no one] else.
The conversation shifted to the weirdest news of the week, including Victor Wembanyama’s security detail getting into a scuffle with Britney Spears. While the internet went wild, the guys are just waiting to see if the most hyped prospect in history can actually live up to the billing.
Big CatIt would be extremely funny if Victor Wembanyama turned out to be a bust
I know that we're a Victor Wembanyama podcast. We've staked our reputation on it. Everyone will remember this. It would be so fucking funny if he was a bust.
Threads also launched while the show was away, and the consensus is that it's already over. Big Cat and PFT found it novel for about forty-eight hours before realizing a social media platform where everyone is forced to be nice to each other is essentially a digital wasteland.
Big CatThe social media app Threads is boring and already dead because it's too nice
I'm already, it was fun for like two and a half days. ... I don't know what to do with it now because I just don't, there's nothing, it's too nice. ... I think I'm done. I think I'm done with it.
Who's Back of the Week
Hank is fully leaning into his "Summer of Hank" lifestyle, which apparently involves not working and obsessing over the new Vegas Sphere. He’s convinced it’s the greatest architectural achievement in human history.
HankThe Vegas Sphere is the coolest thing ever and the future of advertising
It's maybe the coolest thing I've ever seen. Like, I feel like it's gonna be everywhere all the time now. Like it's the, it's the future. ... However much it costs to advertise on it is like it's better than a billboard.
PFT brought up the legal gymnastics of Bob Huggins, who is currently trying to claim he never actually resigned from West Virginia despite the school very much thinking he did. It’s a bold strategy that PFT actually respects for its sheer audacity.
PFT CommenterBob Huggins' legal defense that he never actually resigned from West Virginia is "brilliant" and "ironclad"
Bob Huggins is kind of back. ... He's employing a brilliant legal defense right now. He's claiming that he never actually resigned from WVU... that his wife sent an email saying that he was maybe gonna step down and that they ran with that. ... It sounds pretty ironclad.
Meanwhile, Big Cat was fascinated by the fashion choices at Wimbledon, specifically Jordan Spieth’s choice of attire. After seeing Spieth in a wrinkled, stretchy suit, Big Cat realized they might be shopping at the same Instagram-targeted boutiques for men with "linebacker" builds.
Big CatJordan Spieth is wearing a cheap $500 Instagram ad suit that hides 'fat and frumpy' bodies
Jordan Spieth has a lot, a lot of money. But I think I have that same suit and I understand what happened. ... I think he's wearing a $500 Instagram suit. ... It's a stretchy material that doesn't iron well. And so it's like, it's like a, it's like almost like a, it's like an Under Armour shirt in a suit form.
Sam Darnold Joins the Show
49ers quarterback Sam Darnold joined the program at Tight End U to talk about his transition to San Francisco and working with Kyle Shanahan. The guys didn't waste any time getting to the important stuff, specifically George Kittle’s claim that Darnold had to move out of his pool house because it was haunted. Darnold confirmed that he legitimately felt a presence in the room that kept him up at 3:00 AM.
Sam DarnoldI felt ghosts in the pool house at George Kittle's home
It was very creepy. And I had never dealt with anything like that before. ... I like just like couldn't like, I had to like, keep focusing on this thing in the co like there was something else in the room. ... I felt that something was in the room with me. And it was the the freakiest thing.
On the field, Darnold is clearly enjoying the upgrade in scheme. He noted that in the Shanahan offense, the spacing and play-calling make life significantly easier for a quarterback compared to his previous stops in the league.
Sam DarnoldIn Kyle Shanahan's offense, receivers are open on nearly every play
Guys are open. I mean, there's a lot of guys open on near every play. It just seems like there's a ton of answers. ... knowing that the coordinator's gonna put everyone in the best position possible.
By the end of the interview, Big Cat was ready to lead the Sam Darnold hype train heading into training camp, officially declaring the former USC star as a man on the verge of a massive career resurgence.
Big CatI am officially 'back in' on Sam Darnold
I'm back in on Sam Darnold. I think you're back. 100%. ... Sam Darnold's back. Put it, I I said it. Big Cat Big Cat said it.
Mount Rushmore of Best Pisses
The guys closed out with a truly elite Mount Rushmore category: the best pisses. This segment divided the room, especially when it came to the hygiene and etiquette of where a man is allowed to let it rip. PFT went for the seasonal classics, highlighting the joy of writing your name in the snow.
PFT CommenterPissing in the snow and writing your name is an elite experience
Peeing in the snow. Pissing in the snow, writing your name in the snow rocks, watching it melt. ... You got your own fire hose.
Big Cat, however, took a much more controversial stance. He admitted to being a serial pool pisser, a claim that horrified Jake but resonated with anyone who has ever been too lazy to dry off and walk into the house.
Big CatI pee in 100% of the pools I have ever been in
I piss in every pool I've ever been in. Yep. A hundred percent. Yep. All the time. ... Every pool I've ever been in, in my entire life. Every pool I've pissed in.
Hank remained the lone voice of dissent on the "shower piss" debate, claiming it's one of the grossest things a human can do. Big Cat countered by saying he’ll actually wait until he’s in the shower just to experience the satisfaction.
Big CatShower pisses are elite and I will actually hold a piss just so I can do it in the shower
The shower piss is elite. ... It's like automatic that I pee in the shower. I'll hold a piss to go in the shower. ... It's also kind of badass when you're a little dehydrated and your piss is yellow in the shower.
To wrap things up, the guys discussed a Monday Reading from Slate about "Reply Guys" who actually ended up marrying their crushes. It’s a dangerous precedent to set for the internet, but it gives hope to every lurker out there that one poetic tweet might change their life.
If you see a guy digging a massive hole in a field between Buffalo and Detroit next week, don't call the cops, it's just the boys.
