PMT DB
PMT DB
Lennithon the Dragon on D&D and Jameis Winston's Boxing Career
The vibes are changing on the show, and not necessarily in a way that favors the veterans. Big Cat and PFT are coming to grips with a harsh reality: they’ve officially reached the stage of life where the younger guys on the staff are no longer looking up to them, but rather looking for the next opportunity to bury them. Between Hank's dominance in ping pong and Billy’s general existence, the hierarchy is shifting.
Big CatWe have officially become the 'dads' of the podcast
I think what's happened here, you know when whenever you have a family right and there's that point in time when the 10-12 year old kids turn into teenagers and the dads start becoming the butt of every single joke... We are the dads now. We have become the dads. I'm getting roasted on Twitch. You're getting roasted by Hank and ping pong. Billy is just roasting me. Just mentally we are the dads.
With sports still in a weird holding pattern, the conversation turned to the potential return of baseball and the fans who claim they’re walking away for good. Big Cat isn't buying the tough talk from the '94 strike survivors who swear they're done with the MLB if this season doesn't happen.
Big CatBaseball fans who claim they are done with MLB are lying and will be back next summer
I see people saying that if baseball doesn't happen, they're going to lose me as a fan. How? I'm still going to—you gonna do next? I'm gonna be pissed off, don't get me wrong... But what are you going to do next summer? Like there's nothing you could—Hank's doing the crossing. I love when people make this Line in the Sand where like they lost me at '94, they're going to lose me again. What are you gonna do in July?
We also took a look at the documentary circuit, specifically the new Lance Armstrong series. It sparked a debate about whether anyone is actually naming their kid "Lance" in the year 2020. It’s a name that carries a specific kind of baggage that most parents probably want to avoid for their newborns.
Big CatLance Armstrong single-handedly ruined the name 'Lance' for babies
I think Lance Armstrong probably killed the name Lance. Yeah, you know babies named Lance? Yes, yes. Lance is not a little kid's name. I feel like you name a fucking—that's the kid that you're like, I'm going to wait until I meet it and know its personality and it turns out to be real asshole.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a heavy dose of Jameis Winston, who is currently undergoing a complete rebranding as a workout warrior and, apparently, a future Canton resident. While Jameis is busy convincing history that he’s one of the greatest to ever do it, Big Cat is more focused on the tape of Jameis in the boxing ring.
Big CatJameis Winston will be a Hall of Fame quarterback
Jameis Winston has told himself that he is one of the best quarterbacks... 'I know what I'm worth and I know day in and day out without publicly coming in and saying it that historically I'm one of the best quarterbacks to play the game'... According to history, Jameis is a Hall of Fame quarterback... I'm on the right side of history. Jameis Winston is going to be a Hall of Famer.
Big CatI could beat Jameis Winston in a boxing match
Watching him box—I actually think I could beat up Jameis Winston and I'm not a good boxer. Wow. He looks like a beginner out there... I hereby challenge Jameis Winston to fight me in Rough N' Rowdy... I'm a wide five-nine. I'm like a chode. My arms are longer than those of a five-nine man... If I fought Jameis Winston straight up, I'd just double leg him and take him down.
On the Cool Throne, PFT is bracing himself for a golf tournament that sounds like a fever dream. If you were looking for the most chaotic broadcast booth possible to welcome sports back into our lives, look no further than this lineup.
PFT CommenterWatching a golf tournament commentated by Darren Rovell, Danny Kanell, and Dude Perfect is like wishing for sports on a cursed monkey's paw
I saw that sports are coming back indeed in the form of a golf tournament this weekend, but the golf tournament is going to be commentated and narrated by the team of Darren Rovell, Danny Kanell, and Dude Perfect. I don't think you could have designed... I wished on sports to come back but I wished it on a cursed monkey's paw.
Everything culminated in the return of Timm Woods for the latest installment of Dungeons and Dragons. We’re in the thick of a castle siege against Lennithon the Blue Dragon, and the strategies were... vintage PMT. Big Cat spent his turns chucking rocks like a D2 quarterback, while Billy Football decided the best way to handle an ancient, fire-breathing beast was to try and seduce it.
In a shocking turn of events, Billy actually managed to mount the dragon and fly off into the sunset, leaving the rest of the party—and Timm—trying to figure out if we just witnessed a heroic moment or a total disaster. We'll have to wait for the next session to see if Billy is actually the Dragon Whisperer or just about to be a snack.
Next time you feel like you're losing control of your life, just remember Billy Football is currently sky-high on the back of a dragon.
