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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Watching a golf tournament commentated by Darren Rovell, Danny Kanell, and Dude Perfect is like wishing for sports on a cursed monkey's paw

I saw that sports are coming back indeed in the form of a golf tournament this weekend, but the golf tournament is going to be commentated and narrated by the team of Darren Rovell, Danny Kanell, and Dude Perfect. I don't think you could have designed... I wished on sports to come back but I wished it on a cursed monkey's paw.

The sentiment of the broadcast quality is subjective, though the lineup mentioned was accurate.

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Jun 10, 2020
#17455
Big CatBig Cat

We have officially become the 'dads' of the podcast

I think what's happened here, you know when whenever you have a family right and there's that point in time when the 10-12 year old kids turn into teenagers and the dads start becoming the butt of every single joke... We are the dads now. We have become the dads. I'm getting roasted on Twitch. You're getting roasted by Hank and ping pong. Billy is just roasting me. Just mentally we are the dads.

The dynamic of the show did shift during the 2020-2023 era where Hank and Billy became more vocal and adversarial toward the hosts.
Win
Jun 10, 2020
#17457
Big CatBig Cat

Lance Armstrong single-handedly ruined the name 'Lance' for babies

I think Lance Armstrong probably killed the name Lance. Yeah, you know babies named Lance? Yes, yes. Lance is not a little kid's name. I feel like you name a fucking—that's the kid that you're like, I'm going to wait until I meet it and know its personality and it turns out to be real asshole.

Social Security Administration data shows the name 'Lance' has seen a steady decline in popularity since the late 90s/early 2000s.
Win
Jun 10, 2020
#17456
Big CatBig Cat

Baseball fans who claim they are done with MLB are lying and will be back next summer

I see people saying that if baseball doesn't happen, they're going to lose me as a fan. How? I'm still going to—you gonna do next? I'm gonna be pissed off, don't get me wrong... But what are you going to do next summer? Like there's nothing you could—Hank's doing the crossing. I love when people make this Line in the Sand where like they lost me at '94, they're going to lose me again. What are you gonna do in July?

MLB attendance and viewership remained steady or grew after the 2020 shortened season and 2022 lockout.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.