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Dan HarenDan Haren

The best way to handle a veteran player who needs to retire is to fake an injury and put them on the IL

That's a very easy answer, and it happened to me once in my career. You just put him on the DL. That's all you do, or the IL, whatever. You throw him on there... You know, you got foot soreness and IL and then transfer them to the 60-day and you kind of forget about them and then, you know, maybe bring them back in September.

The Angels chose to release Pujols outright, which was widely criticized as disrespectful, supporting Haren's point in spirit.

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Win
May 10, 2021
#11456
Jake MarshJake Marsh

I am the best person in the Barstool office at table tennis

The moment Hank had an opportunity to say I was no longer the best, he would have ran away with it. So I knew if I lost back-to-back... But I knew I'm 12-2 now. I'm the best freaking one here.

While subjective, the PMT office ranking generally placed Jake at the top of the table tennis rankings for a significant period.
Loss
May 10, 2021
#11458
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Medina Spirit is a junkie horse

I put the blame on the horse. You can't just make excuses. The horse likes doing drugs, obviously. As our 45th president called it, it's a junkie horse.

The horse, Medina Spirit, did test positive for betamethasone, but the 'junkie' characterization is purely comedic.
Void
May 10, 2021
#11460
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

You never trust a man who wears transition lenses

I think this goes back to my old theory of you never trust a man with transition lenses. The person is up to something shady. Once you reach the stage in life where you commit to becoming a transition lens guy... I'd be shocked if you weren't spending your days and nights drugging racehorses.

This is a recurring comedic rule of thumb and cannot be factually proven.

More from Dan Haren

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Void
Dan HarenDan Haren

The MLB Division Series is too short and should be seven games

I think the division series is too short though. Ooh, I don't understand. I don't understand why you play 162 and then it's gotta be five games. I think the, the better team would win out more often in a seven game series.

This is a subjective opinion on playoff structure.
Void
Dan HarenDan Haren

Yordan Alvarez is the best hitter I have ever had to scout

We've faced Yordan [Alvarez] this year. He was, he's the best hitter I've ever had to advance scout. Whoa. I'm talking about covering all the pitches, hitting lefties, everything. He's the best hitter I've ever had to had to scout.

This is Haren's expert opinion based on his scouting experience.
Void
Dan HarenDan Haren

Mike Trout is the greatest baseball hitter in the history of the sport

He is the greatest player I've ever seen. I was kind of arguing with my dad. I was telling him he might be the best hitter in the history of baseball and he didn't agree with me... Yes, he is the greatest of at least our era.

While Trout is a first-ballot Hall of Famer, putting him as the #1 hitter of all time is a highly contentious statistical debate.